Laura Ziepe

The Morning After the Wedding Before


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She hadn’t gone to the gym in years. Firstly she didn’t have time having the children and secondly, even if she did, she knew she wouldn’t pick the gym over shopping and getting a manicure. It just wasn’t a priority of hers at all, but with Max being a personal trainer, she was starting to think about taking more of an interest. Then again, she wasn’t ever going to be a tiny size six parading around in a bikini and she was okay with that. Bikinis were now out of the window; her two children had seen to that. Being a size ten/twelve, Holly wasn’t exactly big in any way, but her skin was a bit crinkled on her lower stomach and she had a few silver stretch marks, something she tried to view in a positive light. They were marks to show she’d made it through childbirth and was lucky enough to have delivered two healthy, beautiful babies; Marks she was proud of, but not quite brave enough to show to the world.

      Max sat next to Holly on the sun lounger. ‘Wow, it’s hot today,’ he said, running his fingers through his hair.

      She could smell his aftershave as he lifted his arm – a mixture of earthy patchouli and rosewood. ‘You’re not wrong there,’ Holly replied, leaning back, closing her eyes and putting her face into the sunlight. ‘Heatwave at home and now we’re here. I don’t think I can remember a hotter summer.’

      He half smiled. ‘Fancy taking your drink into the pool? I think I need to cool down.’

      Holly didn’t need to be asked twice and she followed him, watching the other admiring glances from females as they walked past. They were looking at Holly as though she was lucky, and at that point in time she honestly felt it. Being with someone like Max made her feel special. There was just something about him and the way he looked at her that made Holly feel important.

      They sat on the edge of the pool and Max put his arm round her. Her skin tingled and she felt herself weaken at his touch. She needed to get a grip, she told herself sternly. She hardly knew him.

      ‘Last night was fun,’ he smirked, as he glanced around at the other people in the pool, which was becoming more crowded by the second. The music was even louder now too.

      ‘Yes, I had such a good night,’ Holly told him.

      ‘Do you go out much at home?’ Max asked, cocking his head to the side.

      Holly shook her head. ‘Not any more. I have two children,’ she explained. She wanted him to know this sooner rather than later. If Max had an issue with it, then it was never going to work out anyway. The quicker Holly knew this, the better. ‘I don’t get the chance to get out as much as I used to.’

      ‘So are you still with the father of your children?’ Max asked cautiously. His brow furrowed and he looked a little worried and surprised.

      ‘No, no.’ Holly couldn’t reply quick enough to put him at ease. She may not have been happy with Rob, but she certainly wasn’t the type to cheat. ‘Rob and I split up about eight months ago. He has a new girlfriend now. He told me just before I came out here. We’re still friends.’

      Max nodded. ‘Glad to hear it,’ he said, an unreadable expression on his face.

      ‘I love kids,’ Max added, ‘can’t wait to have my own one day.’

      Holly knew this was his way of saying he wasn’t put off by the fact she was a mum and she felt herself relax.

      ‘Hi!’ Holly heard Kim’s merry tones behind her. She turned round in surprise to see Kim emerge from the crowd, having glammed herself up in the ladies. She was even wearing lip-gloss now and her blonde hair, which had been up in a messy bun, was now cascading down her shoulders. She sat next to Max and put her hand out. ‘Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kim.’ She shot him her biggest smile. ‘So nice to meet you.’

      ‘Ah yes, I’ve heard about you. You made it out today then?’ he asked, splashing his legs about in the pool.

      ‘Yes, I’m fresh and ready for the day. The sleep did me the world of good,’ Kim replied, shooting him another bright smile. ‘So I hear we were supposed to go on a date years ago?’ She giggled, raising one eyebrow.

      ‘Indeed we were,’ Max replied. ‘I think you blew me out though,’ he smiled, looking more handsome than ever.

      ‘I’m sure you were heartbroken,’ Kim responded, laughing gaily.

      ‘Shall I get some more drinks?’ Holly offered, standing up to get out the pool.

      ‘Go on then,’ Kim grinned, downing the last bit of her cocktail and handing Holly the glass.

      Emma was in deep conversation with Frankie when Holly walked back over to their sun beds.

      ‘Sorry,’ Holly apologized, as she walked past and leant over to pick up the cocktail jug.

      ‘Don’t be silly,’ Emma replied. ‘Frankie was just telling me their stag do plans tonight. He’s promised me he’ll look after Charlie,’ she laughed good-naturedly. ‘Charlie has a bit of a habit of getting a bit too drunk.’

      ‘Understatement of the year,’ Frankie grinned. ‘Do you remember that time we had to find him when he’d fallen asleep outside at Helen’s wedding?’

      Emma laughed vigorously with Frankie. ‘That was so funny. I’d forgotten about that.’

      ‘I see you’ve been with Max again,’ Emma said to Holly, with a suggestive glint in her eye.

      Holly blushed. ‘Yes. He’s a nice guy,’ she said in a non-committal tone.

      ‘Where is he now?’ Emma turned round and noticed him in the pool. ‘Oh yes, he’s over there with Kim.’

      ‘Let’s get a photo,’ Holly suggested, taking her phone out of her bag. She usually forgot to take pictures on holidays and nights out and relied on other people to take them. She took a selfie of them together and then Holly flicked through her Facebook newsfeed because she had a notification.

      ‘Right, we’d best leave in about fifteen minutes and then perhaps we’ll go shopping quickly afterwards,’ Emma explained, going on to tell Holly the plans for her hen do that evening. ‘Holly, are you even listening to me?’

      Holly shook her head as though she was in a daydream. ‘Yes, yes. You were talking about tonight,’ she said, her eyes flicking back to her phone. Rob had added some new images of himself and Nikki and Holly couldn’t help but flick through them nosily. There was one photo of them both laughing and it reminded Holly that she hadn’t seen Rob look so happy in a very long time. Had they once laughed like that? They certainly hadn’t at the end of their relationship. It had been constant huffing and eye-rolling. Was it possible to be happy for someone but also feel a stab of envy? She noticed Rob’s mother, Judy, comment underneath the photo.

      Lovely couple, it read.

      Holly swallowed hard, feeling a pang of betrayal towards Judy. She’d always got on well with her, but wasn’t liking the feeling of being replaced so easily. Didn’t they realize it wasn’t easy for her to see things like this?

      ‘Are you okay? You seem to be in another world,’ Emma asked caringly.

      ‘No, I’m fine, honestly.’ Holly attempted a light laugh. She did her best to listen to the rest of what Emma was saying, but the truth was Holly felt a bit empty inside. We weren’t right together, Holly reminded herself over and over as Emma continued to chat away. She had been the one who had made the decision that they should go their separate ways. Despite wanting a perfect family for her children, she knew it couldn’t go on as it was, so why did it all feel so final now Rob had moved on? She didn’t want to find this difficult. She’d been adamant that she and Rob would remain friends on social media as well as in real life because everything was cool between them. There wasn’t anything to get upset about. She couldn’t very well delete him now, could she? He would wonder what he’d done wrong.

      She looked back down at the laughing photo. No, Holly wouldn’t delete him. But she sure as hell was going to unfollow him so she didn’t have to look