And the creature of habit that’s Scott let his favourite dish go, happy enough to have to eat around the olives himself, happier still to watch Frankie tuck in.
What was that feeling, that zip sensation? A heady chemical misfiring of excitement and unbalance, desire and calm. Chatting girls up in hotels was something he used to do so efficiently he could switch off part of himself in the process. It was a routine, motions, a set pattern that was self-centred and greedy. But the end product was never in doubt. He came, he went. Was that what he wanted tonight? In an hour, or two hours? No, strangely, no. Tonight wasn’t about edging towards something; it was about being in the moment. This wasn’t chatting up some girl, this was talking to a person he wanted to get to know. It was different and new and he wasn’t sure if he was doing it right. What he did know was that he liked her.
‘Norfolk?’ he said, clearing his throat and downing a glass of water. ‘But you once lived here, in the city?’
Frankie dabbed her mouth with the napkin. She’d still missed the little smudge of sauce that Scott had been so taken with earlier. It felt natural, now, to take his napkin and wipe her cheek, smile at the way she was both grateful and a little embarrassed. She called herself a mucky pup.
‘It was a fresh start,’ she said. ‘I wanted a house, not a flat. I wanted space and the sea. I wanted peace, quiet. For my writing. For my children and me. I have two children. Sam – my son – is thirteen. Annabel – my daughter – she’s nine.’ There. That’s me. ‘But actually, it wasn’t just about geography and logistics. I wanted to be gone from what I knew.’ She thought how she’d put into words for Scott something she’d never expressed to anyone else. ‘I’d felt like I was stagnating, time tumbling on with me just rooted to a spot that wasn’t letting me grow. It was like being planted in a barren place.’
Frankie saw him glance at her finger, note there was no ring.
‘I’m a single mum,’ she pre-empted.
‘So that’s a brave thing you did,’ he said and his voice was gentle, ‘finding a new place for you, your kids, on your own?’
She shrugged. ‘Or mad – if you asked my sister Peta.’
‘Frank and Peter?’
‘Peta. Our mother wanted boys.’ She rolled her eyes and Scott really laughed.
‘They see their dad?’
Again, the bluntness, the straightforward question unembellished. It could have sounded impertinent but it didn’t, it came across as thoughtful.
‘Sporadically,’ said Frankie. ‘He’s – unreliable. He’s mostly abroad.’
Scott thought about this and looked steadily at Frankie. ‘Hard on you, hey?’
She laughed that one off. ‘I’m used to it. It’s been a long time. I have a friend who summed up Miles as little more than an annoying fly on the windowpane of my life.’
Scott nodded. They both nodded quietly, then he looked up at her quizzically. ‘She said what?’
Frankie giggled. ‘My friend Kirsty talks a load of old bollocks sometimes.’
Their laughter ebbed away but it left its vestige, like the reprise of a melody remaining in the air long after the song has faded out. Frankie thought, how do we keep this evening going?
‘Room for pudding?’ she said.
‘You betcha,’ he said. ‘Any idea where the washrooms are?’
‘Probably hidden inside a huge column of bamboo.’
She watched him as he went, suddenly surprised by all the action in the busy foyer beyond; guests and their guests and bellboys and bags, the scents and the sounds and the comings and goings amplified by mood lighting and mirrors at strange angles. I am tingling, Frankie thought. It’s all mad and wonderful. A sudden recall of Ruth’s hairdresser randomly telling her it’s the time when you’re not looking that love finds you. Frankie hadn’t looked for ages, years really, because she truly believed the landscape of her life lacked nothing. But tonight? It felt as though her blood was infused with colour and sound and an energy she couldn’t believe was hers.
Just then, in between their plates, on top of a napkin, Scott’s phone beamed into life and right there, between her drink and his, Jenna arrived on the scene like an unwanted guest.
Who’s Jenna?
Frankie deflated. The caller ID photo showed Scott and Jenna, cheek by cheek, cosy in woolly hats and snowy smiles, bathed in togetherness against a stunning winter landscape.
And Frankie thought you stupid idiot – why wouldn’t there be a Jenna? Of course there’s a Jenna.
An utter fool, that’s what she felt. What had she been thinking, ordering a dish with olives when she’d’ve been perfectly happy having that bath with the glass of wine and the free copy of Grazia? Why had she listened to Kate bloody Moss?
‘Hey.’
Scott was back and Frankie thought, why would he be available, someone like him? Of course he’s going to be with a Jenna.
‘Sticky Toffee Pudding,’ he said, passing her the menu. ‘I have it every day.’
‘Your phone – you missed a call.’
Scott checked it. Checked his watch. ‘Shit,’ he said. ‘I have to call home.’
‘And I think I’m going to call it a night,’ Frankie said, folding her napkin precisely. ‘I’m tired.’ She smiled in the vague direction of the lifts. She was standing up and it struck Scott that he really didn’t want her to go. Not just yet.
‘Wait.’
‘Good night,’ said Frankie, moving away, ‘thanks so much for supper.’ But he stood too and put his hand on her arm though she continued to turn.
‘Frankie.’ He caught her other arm. ‘Wait?’ He said it quietly, now searching for what to say next. ‘Look,’ he scratched his head. ‘OK – so here’s a thing. I hate olives too.’ His eyes were coursing her face. ‘It’s just – I wanted you to eat. And I’d really like you to stay.’ He was rubbing the back of his neck now, agitated, frowning a little. ‘Please,’ he said, and he slipped his hand into hers for a moment, ‘please don’t go just yet. But I need to make this call. Please?’
Frankie watched him walk to a quiet corner to make the call back to the smiley Jenna in those picture-perfect Canadian mountains. If Jenna hadn’t called, Frankie would have been none the wiser. She wasn’t sure whether she should hate her or thank her for it. Bubble bath and a glass of wine. Divine hotel linen, a good night’s sleep. That’s what she needed most. Alice was required on parade for her agent tomorrow and it was getting late.
Oh but Scott and his eyes and his mussed hair that she wanted to touch. Scott who could be only one great big transatlantic fuck-up. Scott who she’d happily kiss. It had been so long. She turned and faced their table. Why didn’t she just stop being Frankie and take advantage of one lone night with a man she desired who she’d never see again anyway? For once in her life, why not pack her personality at the bottom of her case and not bring it out until she was back home, nice and private, in Norfolk? Why didn’t she just live a little, switch her mind off and give her body a treat?
But that’s never been me.
No. She’d go to her room.
She turned again, to head to the lifts.
But here’s Scott, back already, happy as you like.
‘That was Jenna,’ Scott said, standing close, eyes refusing to let her go. ‘My daughter.’
* * *
‘My daughter has epilepsy,’ he said. ‘She wasn’t too well last week, she had a pretty big seizure and oftentimes they’re not isolated.