She looked bewildered, and as I followed her upstairs, I let out a sigh, thinking, God help me if the idiot girl ruins the whole thing!
Wimpy Mrs Winthrop took the medicine without any qualms, only grateful that I should be thinking of her. Since it was her fourth child, labour began almost instantly, and the child’s head was peeking out before Elsie had got back with the hot water. There was a moment, I recall, where I wondered if luck would be with me, and it would be male. But before I could even cross my fingers, the baby was born, and as she plopped out in front of me, my eyes homed in on the ominous lack of boy parts.
‘It’s a boy!’ I announced, containing my disappointment while snipping the cord and swiftly swaddling the baby in a blanket. I tried to be fast so Elsie wouldn’t see, but as I turned, there she was, a look of anguish on her face.
‘But it’s a girl,’ she said, quiet like.
‘No, Elsie,’ I said through gritted teeth. ‘It’s a boy.’ I frowned at her and jerked my head towards the door, and I saw her eyes narrowing as the penny dropped.
Luckily the lady didn’t hear Elsie. ‘It’s a boy!’ she cried meekly, ‘Thank God it’s a boy!’
‘But he’s having trouble breathing,’ I gasped, trying not to make it sound rehearsed. ‘I have a mechanical ventilator at my house. I’ll have to rush him away quickly. This maid can come with me. Will the nanny be able to help with the afterbirth?’
Elsie ran off to get the nanny, and I was left with Mrs Winthrop begging me to see the child.
‘Please, please, I want to see my baby!’
‘No, no, no, Mrs Winthrop. I need to get him away as soon as I can.’
She just kept on and on. Lucky she wasn’t strong enough to haul herself out of bed or else I’d have been in trouble.
Elsie returned promptly with the old nanny, who looked both tired and dismayed. I told her about the afterbirth, clamped the baby to my chest, and darted down the stairs and out the door. As I strode down to the village, Elsie trotted along beside me asking pointless questions and being worried about getting found out. I wished I’d never employed the stupid girl.
Back in my kitchen, I had a nice box for the baby and a bottle of milk made up from powder. The way I saw it, I’d only be gone a few minutes and she’d be fine with Elsie for that short time. As I laid her down, the baby looked up with her big china blue eyes, just like her sister Venetia’s, and I briefly wondered what it would be like to be a mother, to have such a lamb. I might have been a mother if that stupid Ida didn’t get pregnant and force Geoffrey to marry her instead of me. He didn’t even have proof it was his, the fool that he was. He could have asked me to help. I’d have sorted her out, well and proper.
‘I know what you’re up to, and I want none of it,’ Elsie suddenly announced, lifting up the baby. ‘I’m taking her back to her mum.’
‘No, you’re ruddy well not,’ I said, snatching the baby back and returning her to the box. ‘You’ll stay here and do as you’re told, or you won’t get a penny off me.’
‘I don’t care about the money. It’s wrong, it is.’ She brought a hankie to her little nose and blew it loud as a baby elephant, her pretty eyes begging me. ‘Can’t you see that? Can’t you give it back?’
‘It’s being done for the right and proper reasons, and that’s all you need to know,’ I told her.
‘Well I’m not having any of it,’ she sniffed. ‘I’m going back to the Manor.’
‘You’ll do no such thing.’ I stood between her and the door. ‘I can’t have you ruining my plan!’
She tried to barge past me. I could hear the faint caterwauling of Hattie in labour next door and panicked that everything was about to collapse around me. ‘I’ll let you go if you promise not to tell anyone.’
She pondered for a moment. ‘I’ll not mention a word provided you give me my five quid.’
I seethed. It’s completely immoral to demand money for a service she’d failed to finish. But, like Hercules overcoming another obstacle, I reached into my black bag for the money. ‘You keep your mouth shut or it’ll be curtains.’ She snatched the money away and barged past me into the sunshine. I fretted about what she’d say to Mrs Winthrop, but then I imagined her dainty throat between my hands and focused on the task at hand, grabbing my bag and hurrying off to Hattie’s, leaving the baby girl to fend for herself in the box.
After a few knocks I let myself in to find Hattie slumped by the door, moaning loudly.
I leapt down to her, and checked her – thank God the baby was still moving around inside. I prayed it was the boy I needed. Once I’d helped her up to bed, she moaned and strained, the baby refusing to budge.
That’s when I began panicking about the baby girl in the box in my kitchen. She would need milk by now, but I couldn’t get away from Hattie, who held my hand with a vice-like grip. Would she be all right?
At last Hattie’s screams grew almost inhuman, and I felt panic rising – what would happen if she didn’t have a boy? Would the Brigadier have me disposed of in some gruesome way? I was petrified as a ferret in a snare by the time the baby eventually squirmed its way out.
But the surge of joy – it was a boy!
‘It’s a girl!’ I announced.
‘Let me see her, let me hold her!’ Hattie cried, leaning forward and trying to grasp the baby from my arms.
‘No, she’s not breathing properly. I need to take her to my house to resuscitate her with my mechanical ventilator.’
Hattie screamed, ‘My baby!’ And she was on him, dragging the blanketed little fellow out with all her might.
Scared to damage the baby, yet adamant to salvage the plan, I yanked him back with a lunging turn towards the door. ‘I have to go!’ I screamed, pushing her back on the bed with a firm shove.
Her screams of ‘No’ echoed through the house as I surged down the stairs and out the door, not knowing what I’d find when I got back to my house. The horror of finding the baby girl dead, white-blue and stiff, her big eyes glazed like a doll’s? Or maybe stupid Elsie had called the police, and I’d find the village matrons gathered to witness my downfall.
But the house was ominously quiet. My heart began to race. I am not the most saintly of people, I know, but I couldn’t bear to have caused the death of a baby. The vision of her lying dead in the box came to me, and I dashed for the kitchen.
I could hardly breathe as I looked into the box. There she was, pale and limp, her eyes closed. This couldn’t happen! My hand darted to her neck to feel her pulse. I felt a faint fluttering, and she opened her toothless mouth as wide as a baby hippo, and let out an ear-piercing screech.
I took her out of the box and thrust the bottle of milk into her gob.
‘Don’t you worry, baby girl,’ I muttered to her. ‘You’re about to have the most adoring mother this side of London.’
I placed the boy baby in the box, fitting a blanket around him as he seemed a scrawny kind of lad, the type to catch a chill. Then scooping the girl back up, I headed back to Hattie’s.
Hattie was just inside the front door, desperate for me to return, still in her bloody nightdress, her dark curls wet and matted. ‘Is she all right?’ she cried, panic on her face. ‘Is she going to be all right?’
‘Yes,’ I smiled. ‘She’s going to be fine.’ I handed the baby into her outstretched arms, and she gazed at the perfect little face with blue, blue eyes and a little pointy chin, a coating of pale blonde hair over her head. She truly was an exceptionally beautiful baby – and take it from me, most of them aren’t.
The afterbirth came promptly, with a little help,