Chambers Dictionary (1994) uses this example in its definition of the word ‘resonance’: The complex of bodily responses to an emotional state, or of emotional responses to a situation.
Internal Conversation
Internal conversation is a subject broached by almost every system of Meditation that I have studied. Awareness of the continual conversation that churns inside our heads and the gradual conviction of its totally habitual nature is one of the first goals of Meditation. Internal conversation has a tendency towards negativity and being judgmental. Gaining a certain degree of freedom from internal conversation is essential for the Intelligent Warrior for internal conversation prevents us from receiving the impressions from the outside world directly. For example, something someone says triggers (action/reaction cycle) an association in your mind and you immediately start engaging in an internal conversation about it. This means that you are not only taking in the impression of the person talking directly but also listening to your own conversation, which is likely to lead you to lose track of what they are saying.
Internal conversation is also sometimes known as associative thinking because it uses associations to self-perpetuate. For instance, you are reading these words when suddenly your stomach grumbles, you tell yourself you are hungry and deserve a break, you start to think about what you are going to eat, perhaps imagine going to your favourite sandwich shop and recall bumping into an old friend the last time you were there, recall some of the things you used to do when you were younger, think ‘What a long time ago that was, is it really 10 years?’, ‘What have I done with that time? I should have taken that other job…’ and so on. At the same time, you sat in exactly the same place trying to read. If left unchecked this associating will go on relentlessly from the moment we wake up to the moment we fall asleep and rob us of many experiences and opportunities available in the present moment.
Internal conversation walks hand in hand with daydreaming and provides a running dialogue to the pictures thrown up by your mind. As mentioned previously, there is a tendency for this habitual talking to turn negative so our daydreams can end up with a picture of ourselves begging on the streets or something equally catastrophic! The Intelligent Warrior must learn to protect himself or herself against internal conversation because it burns a tremendous amount of energy, destroys self-esteem and has a tendency to increase in intensity when in a stressful situation.
Attachment, Detachment and Nonattachment
The concept of attachment, detachment and nonattachment comes directly from Taoism and is basically another expression of balance in that attachment can be seen as the Yang principle, detachment as the Yin principle and nonattachment as the balancing force between them. When a conflict or powerful event occurs in our life it makes us react. Our reaction then tends to polarize into either Yang (attachment), where we become obsessed by the occurrence, cannot stop talking or thinking about it and may even take some rash action on account of this, such as accusing someone of something before we have all the facts. The opposite reaction, Yin (detachment), is where we try to deny that the event ever occurred and pretend that the problem does not exist – for example, many people get into serious financial difficulties because they are afraid to face up to mounting debts and so avoid, for instance, opening any credit card statements. What these two reactions have in common is that they burn a lot of energy and stop you from seeing the event in an objective light, in turn stopping you from taking the appropriate action, which always involves an intelligent decision. Nonattachment allows you to sense these Yin and Yang perspectives simultaneously for in reality an Intelligent Warrior needs them both. The Yang reaction teaches us not to be blasé about events; it is the power by which we take action on something and gives us the strength to ‘grab the bull by the horns’. However, without the sensitivity from the Yin perspective, which teaches us to hold back perhaps to gather more information or to read the situation fully, we will be in danger of becoming a ‘bull in a China shop’ and making a particular situation a lot worse than it was to start out with.
The way to practise nonattachment is always to move into the present moment, for it is only here that you can pull your energy away from the imbalanced reaction. This is one of the skills developed in the practice of Meditation. By doing this we learn to become more sensitive to the Yin and Yang reactions within ourselves so that eventually any small fluctuation is sensed. A good working example would be when an experienced poker player makes himself or herself very quiet inside and enters into the present moment in order to read the tiny reactions (called ‘poker tells’) given off by the other players that give away their bluffs or inability to conceal excitement over the cards they are holding. This allows the Intelligent Warrior to know ‘when to hold them and when to fold them’ as the country singer Kenny Rogers would say!
Another helpful way of visualizing this essential concept is to look at Figure 5. Here we see our Yin and Yang reactions represented in a waveform, which tends to be how emotional reactions operate – we go up but at some point there is a corresponding low. Moreover, each situation will make you react in a slightly different way (for instance, even the most aggressive bouncer may try to avoid a confrontation with his wife when drunkenly stumbling in late after work!).
The key to nonattachment is firstly to ensure that when you are up (Yang) and taking direct action on something you remain aware of the Yin principle. For instance, be sensitive to the effect you are having on the situation. Secondly, make sure that when you are down (Yin) you to try to find the Yang energy. For instance, the classic Yin reaction is depression and, as any experienced therapist will tell you, the key to relieving depression is to take action. So, instead of getting depressed about money problems, for example, face them and take action to rectify the situation.
FIGURE 5
Nonattachment does not mean that you suppress your reactions – reactions are part of what is to be human and are necessary for life – but it does mean that you become more sensitive to them in order to sense earlier when you are being pulled off balance. This is represented by the smaller waveform that is close to the straight line (the point of balance) and is a much finer level of vibration or sensitivity. In this way, you learn not to commit so much energy to your reactions, which will in turn allow you to pay more attention to your goals.
Preparation for the Unexpected
As mentioned earlier, we must always keep in mind what it is that Martial Art is training us for. The aim of this book is to gain an insight into how Martial Art strategies and practices can help you in everyday situations. Therefore, we must learn how to prepare for this eventuality. One of the main differences between martial sport and Martial Art is the fact that in a sport conflict situation (for instance a tournament bout) you know where, you know when, you know how (what rules) and you know whom you are going to fight. A real situation, on the other hand, very often means that you do not know any of these things. Martial Art should teach you to be prepared for the unexpected and then to be able to adapt almost instantaneously to the conflict as it unfolds. I once witnessed a cyclist riding down the road in a busy city centre, quite obviously daydreaming about being somewhere else. As the cyclist rode down the road, a careless van driver (who was about 10 metres away) opened his door and the cyclist continued towards it, saw it just in time, then reacted instinctively by swerving. The cyclist missed the door but his overreaction meant that he lost his balance and came crashing heavily to the ground.
This story illustrates very well what a real conflict situation is like. The cyclist was daydreaming and not living in the present moment. This state of ‘waking sleep’ tends to be extremely common in the average human being and because of it, the cyclist was not aware of the door opening soon enough to recognize it and make a controlled evasive manoeuvre. Instead, it was left to the cyclist’s reflexes, operating at a much finer level of recognition, to perform the manoeuvre. However, he over steered due to his body’s adrenaline reaction and consequently his balance was destroyed and no further riding technique was possible. The situation happened totally out of the blue – one minute the cyclist was daydreaming of holiday beaches or winning the lottery and the next minute the cruel reality of life almost literally slapped him in