trying to prove something and if so, why be so cruel?
When the phone rang, jolting her back to the present, the rush of adrenalin made Jo’s heart thump painfully against her chest.
‘Hello?’ Her voice shook and by the way the phone rattled against her wedding ring, so did her hand.
‘Hi Jo, it’s Jason.’
‘Hi,’ she replied, already trying to think of an answer before David’s colleague had even asked the question.
‘Erm, David was meant to be in a meeting that started ten minutes ago and we were wondering where he is.’
‘Me too.’
There was a pause: Jason was clearly thrown by the remark but then said, ‘Jo, is everything OK?’
She took a deep breath that was meant to compose her but her words still trembled. ‘I don’t know where he is, Jason. He didn’t come home last night from Leeds. Well, he didn’t come home to me. You wouldn’t know … Is there anything he said …?’
Jason and David had worked in the same office for several years and spent most of their working lives together, so if David had been planning something, he might have confided in his colleague.
‘Jesus, Jo, I’m sorry but no, I never saw this coming. You think he’s left you?’
So far the only person Jo had told was her sister, but if David had left then she would have to face that particular shame at some point. Not just yet though, and not with someone she barely knew. ‘I don’t know. What other explanation is there?’
Before Jason had a chance to come up with his own theories, Jo quickly continued, ‘Look, Jason, I don’t know what’s happened yet, but it looks like he’s not coming into work either. I’ll put in a request for emergency leave on his behalf and hope that he gets in touch soon. In the meantime, if you hear anything – the minute you hear anything – promise me you’ll let me know.’
‘Of course, Jo. Of course I will.’
Unwittingly, Jason had forced Jo to accept that David wasn’t going to show up any time soon, and the sense of despair was crushing – but a sudden spark of anger kept Jo’s mind focused enough to write the email to cover her errant husband’s absence. If David was doing this deliberately, then he was going to feel her wrath. As soon as she pressed send, Jo picked up the phone again. She had no idea what she was going to say beyond the opening line.
‘Hi, Irene. It’s Jo.’
Her mother-in-law wasn’t used to receiving calls from her daughter-in-law without good reason, especially not at ten o’clock in the morning on a weekday, so she was immediately on the alert. ‘Hi, Jo. Is everything all right?’ she asked.
Irene was in her late fifties and had devoted much of her life to being a wife and mother. The sense of purpose that came with the role had diminished once her boys had left home and then disappeared completely when her husband had died. Her grief had eased over the last two years but it was the change in circumstance that continued to affect her deeply. She was searching for a new role in her family’s life but had lost confidence and needed constant reassurance from her sons, which frustrated Jo because she knew her mother-in-law was far more capable than she gave herself credit for.
When Jo didn’t answer her quickly enough, Irene added, ‘Is the baby OK?’
‘Fine,’ Jo said, momentarily taken aback. She had become attuned to her baby’s movements and normally kept track of them throughout the day but since leaving the house the only time she had thought about little FB had been to consider the role it played in her husband’s disappearance. These were not pleasant thoughts. ‘I was looking for David.’
Irene took a moment to respond as if she didn’t quite understand the question. ‘But why would he be here?’
Jo was finding it hard to breathe. The last shred of hope had been viciously snuffed out by Irene’s gentle words. She gulped for air. ‘He didn’t come home last night. I don’t know where he is.’
‘Have you phoned the police?’ Irene’s soft voice had developed a distinct wobble.
‘No,’ Jo said as if she was pleading with Irene not to open a door that would allow a pack of wolves to rush in and tear her life apart.
‘Are you at home? I’ll come over.’
‘No, I’m at work.’
Irene spluttered her reply as if she couldn’t quite comprehend what she was hearing. ‘He could be lying in a ditch somewhere and you’ve gone to work?’
Jo put a hand over her face, rubbing her forehead then massaging her temples as she tried to push that particular scenario from her thoughts. It was an impossible task. ‘I didn’t know what to do, what to think. I was hoping that, wherever he’d stayed last night, he would turn up here today.’
‘Oh my God, I feel sick. He wouldn’t disappear without telling you, without telling me. What’s happened to him, Jo? Where’s my son?’
Jo pursed her lips as she considered telling Irene about the missing passport but Irene would snatch at the ray of hope in a way that Jo couldn’t; he wasn’t abandoning his mother, only his wife. Before she could say anything, Irene made the decision Jo had been putting off. ‘The police have to be told. I’ll do it.’
‘No, I will,’ Jo said quickly. She had already looked up the number for the local police station and knew it by heart now. Her fingers played with the buttons on the telephone base as she imagined making the call that terrified her most.
Glancing up, Jo caught Kelly watching her from the open-plan office. She had twisted her seat around so that she could keep Jo in her sights. They made eye contact and Kelly quickly looked away. A second later, Gary appeared in front of her office and was reaching for the door handle.
‘I’ll do it from home, Irene.’
‘When, Jo? You can’t leave it until tonight.’
‘No, I’ll go home now,’ she said as Gary stepped through the door.
He waited for Jo to finish her call and then said, ‘What’s going on Jo? I’ve had a call asking me what to do about a certain member of staff going AWOL.’
For a moment, Jo didn’t know what to say, then blurted out, ‘David didn’t come home last night.’ She paused, and looked searchingly at his face, as though her mentor and friend could provide answers, but he looked dumbstruck. ‘Is it all right if I go home?’
Gary’s eyes narrowed as he considered his reply. She knew how his mind worked. He wouldn’t be wondering whether or not to agree to her request but deciding whether to say yes and take a step back until Jo was ready to talk, or probe a little further. ‘Take the rest of the week off if needs be,’ he said at last. ‘I’ll work with Kelly to reorganize your diary but phone me if you need anything or if you think you’ll need more time off next week.’
‘Thanks, Gary,’ Jo said, trying not think of the possible reasons why she would need more leave the following week.
She held her composure, but only until Gary had left the office. She started swallowing back air in desperate gulps as she scrambled for her mobile and dialled. Tears stung her eyes as she waited impatiently for the recorded voice to stop prattling on so she could leave a message. ‘I don’t know where you are but you’re scaring me, David,’ she said. Her fingers dug into the hard, uncompromising plastic of the phone that refused to let her make contact with her husband. She released a sob of frustration. ‘I love you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything and I’ll do whatever it takes to put things right.’ She looked down at her bump. ‘Anything. Just come home. Oh God, please come home, David. I love you so much and this is killing me!’
She hung up and held her breath, refusing to let the tears fall, but when she tried to stand, she was hit by a wave of dizziness that turned her legs to jelly and