you like a magnet, you want to die in such a good place under a blue cloudless sky. Having a home, parents, family, people who love you seems like a happy but distant dream. Now they are gone. You will not see, you will not hear. All around is anxiety, horror, death.
The sappers have a very difficult job. Death always walks next to them. Not in vain it says: "Sapper only once makes a mistake".
We started cleaning off the road that the column was supposed to go through. Here one of the Afghans ran and that about five hundred dushmans were hiding in the ruins. When I told to the officer, he did not believe it.
– Continue to demine, – he ordered.
The shooting soon began. We didn’t even know where to hide. We remembered the wasp buzzing of bullets, the demolished upper part of the skull of the Samarkand guy and his white brain. I looked at him in exaggeration. Then the white brain gradually began to become red and blood flowed. The boy's hands were held by the tank with an iron grip, it seemed as if a villain-sculptor had created a terrible statue. The tank turned and went back. The boy’s brains crashed into the iron car.
From somewhere aircraft appeared and began to bomb the enemy. They shot from a rifle. This time we were protected and able to get back in part. On that day, the road remained undemined.
I can’t forget another story. The soldiers along with the captain went to the desert for demining. My legs fell into the sand. The sun burned unhappy. It was not possible to recognize each other in the face. The throat was dry, it seemed like instead of air we swallowed hot sand. At that time, the signal was given by the mine-detector. He began to scratch the land carefully, arrived at the mine, it was Italian-made. I asked the commander to blow it up on the spot.
– No, you will take the explosive device here.
In fact, we, the sappers, when a mine is detected, must destroy it on the spot. The commander's orders cannot be fulfilled. Others moved to a safe distance. I began to remove the explosive carefully, a cold sweat in an instant covered my body. It seemed like an explosion was about to happen. As soon as I removed the explosive, I instantly debilitated. On the cotton legs took the mine to the AFV. We went further. Luckily, I saw a mine on the road. I met the commander in the eyes.
– Take this one off, too, – he said mockingly.
– I will not, – I answered stubbornly.
– You will go to court! – He cried out.
The soldiers stood down. In such cases, you curse the military service a thousand times. Oh, be free now and spit in the face of this ugly guy!
The distance between me and the "baby"1 is about ten meters. My feet fall into the sand. The mine lies on the sand, like on a perineum. "The Baby of Death". My legs are being heavy, I can’t walk. The cold sweat swelled the body again. The eyes began to close themselves. I can’t keep the eyelids. I prayed to the household, father and mother, whom I had not seen for a thousand years: "My relatives, protect me, please, banish death! May my remains not remain unburied in this strange hot country. May I die in your arms. Is there really no place for me in my native village? Pray to God, ask him to be merciful!" – I whispered.
We met one by one. It was as if it was saying, "Now I will scatter your hated body". Then I saw death in sight. The mine opened its black jaws, as if laughing. I cringed. I looked around. The soldiers hid behind the AFV. The yellow-faced man who had sent me to my death was watching me intently from behind the shelter.
This picture, and maybe my prayers all worked together, I came to myself: I felt a tide of strength, courage. In front of me was an ordinary "landmine". Without thinking, I removed the explosive, raised the mine. The soldiers, seeing this, fled again to a considerable distance. I brought a mine and got into the car with it. Everyone was watching, holding their breath. We returned to the regiment in silence.
– You are called by the chief of staff, – said the captain when he returned.
Now I did not care. I could even go to hell with this mine, because hell was on my chest. When a man is brought to extremes, he is capable of anything.
When they saw me with a mine on my chest, they all threw up. When I entered the chief of staff, his eyes almost came out of the orbit. He began to retreat.
– Put it there, put it there—only the chief of staff could speak, pointing to a corner away from him.
I remember another case. After serving four months in the desert, I returned to the regiment. I have been in the army for a year and a half. We were raised at four in the morning. They brought shoes from somewhere. I climbed, but on the way it started rubbing the leg, then I removed. It seemed like I couldn’t reach the goal today. I felt like I was on a mine and I exploded. Two soldiers were sent to demine the roof of the house. We were waiting for them. A lot of time has passed and concerns have grown. At this time there was an explosion, dust rose and soon settled.
– What happened there, go find out, – the commander told me.
It is not difficult to understand the feelings with which I went to execute this order. As soon as I entered the house, I saw an open crack in the ceiling that formed after the explosion. One soldier failed in it. His face could not be recognized. There was blood, but it was hard to know where it came from. I tried to help him, but he refused:
– Find my machine, I’ll go out myself, – he said. His machine was attached to the wall of the house. It's hard to say now whether I understood then what he was up to, but the machine gave. This happened often. At that moment there was a scream from the house: "Help!". I turned and took a step back. On the staircase leading to the roof of the house, a soldier stood and held a wounded comrade in his arms. I took a wounded man from him, but as soon as I tried to come down with him, there was a terrible explosion. The wounded man fell out of my arms, and I flew out of the house.
I woke up in the stretcher. I wanted to get up, but it didn’t work. Looking at my legs, I found that I had not one of my legs, and the other turned into something like a meat puddle. The trousers on the legs were broken. Someone ran somewhere, quarreled, screams were heard. They gave me some medicine to smell in the car. It seemed like I drank a lot of vodka. Then they turned from one side to the other. I don't remember anything further.
Four days I failed in the Kandahar hospital, from there I was transferred to Kabul. On the naked legs was put a bandage. Bandage was tightly attached to the bone, it was very painful. Three hours from the healthy part of the leg cut off the skin and attached to the bare bone of the feet. But everything is unsuccessful.
I was taken to Tashkent. Severe pain was caused by bandages attached to the bone. I could not sleep all night. It seems that the whole body has turned into a continuous rupture, ready to break. In Tashkent, the doctor, removing the bandages, tightly compressed my legs. The pain was terrible.
– The foot is clean, there are no cracks, – he said.
I was operated on that day. When I woke up at night, I didn’t feel any pain in my leg. I thought a lot about meeting home. I thought I would enter my hometown. Everybody knows that the news of such trouble spreads very quickly in the cheeks. My heart broke when I thought about it. Many times I thought: "Would I go back like this?". In front of my eyes passed dead comrades and blamed me for such thoughts.
The older brother arrived. When he saw me, he cried. Apparently, something was wrong with the remaining leg, and I was sent to Moscow. There I met a friend from Namangan. He lost two eyes. We walked together. Bitter tears flowed from his eyes.
Doctors promised him to do surgery, but only a year later and did not guarantee that at least one eye would see.
– If I don’t get my eyesight back, I won’t go back to my hometown. I will live here until I die, – he said.
He was very sociable, I couldn’t withstand his complaints and tried to avoid them, because I could not comfort him or myself.
I was treated in Moscow.
My older brother knew what had happened to me, but when I got back in the shell and went home on a prosthesis with a trunk in my hands, my mom was fossilized near the gate. Then she ran to meet me, pressed me