During colonial times, sexual relationships between Europeans and indigenous people were severely condemned, as they violated the existing social hierarchies. This allowed colonizers not only to control the population but also to reinforce the ideology of racial superiority. Sexual taboos acted as a tool for dividing society, creating social barriers that continued to exist for centuries.
Sexual myths are cultural narratives that have shaped our understanding of sex and sexuality. They can be both explicit and hidden, but their influence extends to all areas of life. These myths are often based on distorted or oversimplified views of human nature and desires, and they continue to exist even in modern society, where information is more accessible than ever before. One widespread myth is the myth of «purity.» For centuries, in different cultures, sexuality – especially female sexuality – was associated with the concept of purity. Female virginity and chastity were considered symbols of virtue, while male sexuality had far fewer restrictions. This myth reinforced stereotypes that women should be passive in sexual relationships and that their sexual desires were something shameful.
Another myth is tied to the idea of «normality.» Society constantly dictates what constitutes «normal» sex and what is considered a deviation. Anything that did not fit within this norm was seen as an anomaly, subject either to correction or condemnation.
Myths also relate to male and female sexuality as entirely opposing concepts. For example, the stereotype that men are supposedly always seeking sex, while women are, by nature, less sexual or need protection from their own desires. This myth not only distorts people’s real sexual needs but also creates deep emotional and psychological problems in relationships, leading to misunderstanding and disappointment.
Stereotypes are often a product of historical prohibitions and myths, and they create rigid frameworks within which it becomes difficult for a person to recognize and express their sexuality naturally. The path to freedom begins with recognizing that many of our notions about sexuality are social constructs, not objective truths.
Deconstructing these stereotypes also involves understanding that sexual relationships do not always have to conform to cultural standards. Society often holds views that sex is something that «must» happen under certain circumstances (for example, within marriage or long-term relationships) and in a particular way. However, sexuality is an individual experience, and the path to freedom involves understanding and accepting that each person has the right to their own preferences and boundaries.
An example of such rethinking can be found in the movements for open relationships. They challenge traditional views of monogamy as the only right form of relationship, asserting that there are many ways to love and be intimate. These ideas help expand our understanding of intimacy and relationships, freeing people from oppressive norms that do not always align with their inner desires.
Liberation from myths and stereotypes is a process that requires awareness, time, and self-work. Each person goes through their own awakening of sexuality in different ways. This may include reading literature, talking to like-minded people, consulting with therapists or sexologists, but the key is the willingness to ask questions and seek answers that resonate with your own experiences and feelings. It is important to remember that free sexuality does not mean that everyone must adhere to a single standard. On the contrary, it is the recognition that sexuality can manifest in many different forms and variations. The path to freedom is the process of breaking down the limitations imposed by society and creating one’s own space for expressing and experiencing intimate life.
Freedom comes through realizing that sexuality is a natural, positive, and important part of human life. Deconstructing myths and stereotypes allows each person to find their own path to this freedom, respecting themselves, their desires, and the boundaries of others.
Sexual prohibitions and taboos have always been powerful tools for social control. They not only guided the behavior of individuals but also shaped power structures, maintained social hierarchies, and ultimately controlled entire communities. History shows how sexuality has been used as a political tool for oppression, manipulation, and division of people.
Take, for example, medieval Europe, when the church played a huge role in setting moral norms and controlling sexual behavior. Prohibitions on sexual practices such as sex outside of marriage created powerful mechanisms for controlling the population. This reinforced the patriarchal system, where men had more power over women, and the church over everyone, manipulating sexuality as «sinful» or «pure.» These prohibitions created an atmosphere of fear and guilt, forcing people to follow prescribed rules.
Similar forms of control can also be seen in the history of colonialism, when sexual relations between colonists and indigenous people were seen as a threat to the existing order. Laws aimed at preventing interracial marriages and relationships were used to maintain social and hierarchical divisions. As a result, such prohibitions helped preserve power and control over the conquered peoples, using sexual norms as a means of segregation.
Sexual myths, born from religion, culture, and history, continue to have a profound influence on how we perceive sexuality today. Many of these myths have become so deeply embedded in our consciousness that they continue to shape our behavior, even if we are unaware of their existence. Deconstructing them is an important step in understanding how sexuality and power interact with each other.
Consider the myth that women’s sexuality is tied to their purity and innocence. This myth has been actively promoted for centuries, from antiquity to the present day. The idea that female virginity symbolizes moral purity and family honor has deeply rooted itself in various cultures. In the Middle Ages, this myth helped establish strict control over women’s bodies and their sexuality through institutions of marriage, religion, and tradition. In modern society, its echoes continue to influence perceptions of women’s sexual activity in a negative context.
Sexual myths also concern male sexuality. The widespread belief that men should always be ready for sex and that their sexual desires are «uncontrollable» has created distorted views of how men experience their intimate lives. This myth not only reinforces toxic masculinity but also denies men the right to vulnerability, emotional closeness, and the ability to express their feelings, fears, and doubts. As a result, men often face pressure to conform to these expectations, leading to emotional and psychological exhaustion.
Sexual freedom is not just about freedom from physical prohibitions but also a deep process of deconstructing the stereotypes and myths that have shaped our thinking for centuries. Deconstructing these stereotypes requires a new perspective on sexuality as a process that changes and evolves throughout life. This allows people to be flexible, open, and accept their own changes and desires. For example, someone may discover that their sexual preferences have changed with age or under the influence of certain life circumstances. Realizing that this is normal and natural helps to free oneself from inner conflict and the pressure to conform to old stereotypes.
Sexual education plays an important role in this process. Access to knowledge about the body, boundaries, and consent helps to dismantle the myths and stereotypes that have shaped our thinking for centuries. Education gives people the opportunity to approach their body and desires consciously, openly discuss sexual needs with a partner, and accept themselves as they are. The historical legacy of sexual prohibitions, myths, and stereotypes continues to influence our thinking, but today we are at a point where more and more people are beginning to understand the importance of sexual freedom and self-awareness. As a result, people are becoming more harmonious and confident in their sexuality, leading to the creation of healthy, respectful, and honest relationships – both with themselves and with others. Free sexuality is a path not only to pleasure but also to profound self-awareness, enriching all aspects of a person’s life.
CHAPTER 2: POSITIVE SEXUALITY
A Sex-Positive Outlook: Embracing All Forms of Expression
A sex-positive outlook is a philosophy and approach to life that emphasizes