a dozen steps when he reached them: Dudley was curled up on the ground, his arms clamped over his face. A second Dementor was crouching low over him, gripping his wrists in its slimy hands, prising them slowly, almost lovingly apart, lowering its hooded head towards Dudley’s face as though about to kiss him.
‘GET IT!’ Harry bellowed, and with a rushing, roaring sound, the silver stag he had conjured came galloping past him. The Dementor’s eyeless face was barely an inch from Dudley’s when the silver antlers caught it; the thing was thrown up into the air and, like its fellow, it soared away and was absorbed into the darkness; the stag cantered to the end of the alleyway and dissolved into silver mist.
Moon, stars and street lamps burst back into life. A warm breeze swept the alleyway. Trees rustled in neighbouring gardens and the mundane rumble of cars in Magnolia Crescent filled the air again. Harry stood quite still, all his senses vibrating, taking in the abrupt return to normality. After a moment, he became aware that his T-shirt was sticking to him; he was drenched in sweat.
He could not believe what had just happened. Dementors here, in Little Whinging.
Dudley lay curled up on the ground, whimpering and shaking. Harry bent down to see whether he was in a fit state to stand up, but then he heard loud, running footsteps behind him. Instinctively raising his wand again, he spun on his heel to face the newcomer.
Mrs Figg, their batty old neighbour, came panting into sight. Her grizzled grey hair was escaping from its hairnet, a clanking string shopping bag was swinging from her wrist and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand hurriedly out of sight, but –
‘Don’t put it away, idiot boy!’ she shrieked. ‘What if there are more of them around? Oh, I’m going to kill Mundungus Fletcher!’
– CHAPTER TWO —
A Peck of Owls
‘What?’ said Harry blankly.
‘He left!’ said Mrs Figg, wringing her hands. ‘Left to see someone about a batch of cauldrons that fell off the back of a broom! I told him I’d flay him alive if he went, and now look! Dementors! It’s just lucky I put Mr Tibbles on the case! But we haven’t got time to stand around! Hurry, now, we’ve got to get you back! Oh, the trouble this is going to cause! I will kill him!’
‘But —’ The revelation that his batty old cat-obsessed neighbour knew what Dementors were was almost as big a shock to Harry as meeting two of them down the alleyway. ‘You’re – you’re a witch?’
‘I’m a Squib, as Mundungus knows full well, so how on earth was I supposed to help you fight off Dementors? He left you completely without cover when I’d warned him —’
‘This Mundungus has been following me? Hang on – it was him! He Disapparated from the front of my house!’
‘Yes, yes, yes, but luckily I’d stationed Mr Tibbles under a car just in case, and Mr Tibbles came and warned me, but by the time I got to your house you’d gone – and now – oh, what’s Dumbledore going to say? You!’ she shrieked at Dudley, still supine on the alley floor. ‘Get your fat bottom off the ground, quick!’
‘You know Dumbledore?’ said Harry, staring at her.
‘Of course I know Dumbledore, who doesn’t know Dumbledore? But come on – I’ll be no help if they come back, I’ve never so much as Transfigured a teabag.’
She stooped down, seized one of Dudley’s massive arms in her wizened hands and tugged.
‘Get up, you useless lump, get up!’
But Dudley either could not or would not move. He remained on the ground, trembling and ashen-faced, his mouth shut very tight.
‘I’ll do it.’ Harry took hold of Dudley’s arm and heaved. With an enormous effort he managed to hoist him to his feet. Dudley seemed to be on the point of fainting. His small eyes were rolling in their sockets and sweat was beading his face; the moment Harry let go of him he swayed dangerously.
‘Hurry up!’ said Mrs Figg hysterically.
Harry pulled one of Dudley’s massive arms around his own shoulders and dragged him towards the road, sagging slightly under the weight. Mrs Figg tottered along in front of them, peering anxiously around the corner.
‘Keep your wand out,’ she told Harry, as they entered Wisteria Walk. ‘Never mind the Statute of Secrecy now, there’s going to be hell to pay anyway, we might as well be hanged for a dragon as an egg. Talk about the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery … this was exactly what Dumbledore was afraid of – What’s that at the end of the street? Oh, it’s just Mr Prentice … don’t put your wand away, boy, don’t I keep telling you I’m no use?’
It was not easy to hold a wand steady and haul Dudley along at the same time. Harry gave his cousin an impatient dig in the ribs, but Dudley seemed to have lost all desire for independent movement. He was slumped on Harry’s shoulder, his large feet dragging along the ground.
‘Why didn’t you tell me you’re a Squib, Mrs Figg?’ asked Harry, panting with the effort to keep walking. ‘All those times I came round your house – why didn’t you say anything?’
‘Dumbledore’s orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything, you were too young. I’m sorry I gave you such a miserable time, Harry, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they’d thought you enjoyed it. It wasn’t easy, you know … but oh my word,’ she said tragically, wringing her hands once more, ‘when Dumbledore hears about this – how could Mundungus have left, he was supposed to be on duty until midnight – where is he? How am I going to tell Dumbledore what’s happened? I can’t Apparate.’
‘I’ve got an owl, you can borrow her.’ Harry groaned, wondering whether his spine was going to snap under Dudley’s weight.
‘Harry, you don’t understand! Dumbledore will need to act as quickly as possible, the Ministry have their own ways of detecting underage magic, they’ll know already, you mark my words.’
‘But I was getting rid of Dementors, I had to use magic – they’re going to be more worried about what Dementors were doing floating around Wisteria Walk, surely?’
‘Oh, my dear, I wish it were so, but I’m afraid – MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!’
There was a loud crack and a strong smell of drink mingled with stale tobacco filled the air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialised right in front of them. He had short, bandy legs, long straggly ginger hair and bloodshot, baggy eyes that gave him the doleful look of a basset hound. He was also clutching a silvery bundle that Harry recognised at once as an Invisibility Cloak.
‘’S’up, Figgy?’ he said, staring from Mrs Figg to Harry and Dudley. ‘What ’appened to staying undercover?’
‘I’ll give you undercover!’ cried Mrs Figg. ‘Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!’
‘Dementors?’ repeated Mundungus, aghast. ‘Dementors, ’ere?’
‘Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!’ shrieked Mrs Figg. ‘Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!’
‘Blimey,’ said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs Figg to Harry, and back again. ‘Blimey, I —’
‘And you off buying stolen cauldrons! Didn’t I tell you not to go? Didn’t I?’
‘I – well, I —’ Mundungus looked deeply uncomfortable. ‘It – it was a very good business opportunity, see —’
Mrs Figg raised the arm from which her string bag dangled and whacked Mundungus around the face and neck with it; judging by the clanking noise it made it was full of cat food.
‘Ouch – gerroff – gerroff, you mad old bat! Someone’s gotta tell Dumbledore!’
‘Yes – they – have!’ yelled