and not reactive behavior when behavior is just a response to outer impact.
1. The level of behavior. The most evident task is to find such way of behavior that can resolve some conflict, reach an agreement, protect oneself, defeat one’s opponent and so on. In this case the doctor is expected to give a recommendation about how to behave in this or that situation, what to say, what to answer, what strategy to stick to, how to learn to behave properly so as to get the desirable result.
To work out the right way of behavior psychologists make use of various trainings, give detailed individual instruction, play role games, give advice and recommendations and so on. For such psychologists, behavior is nothing more but just behavior. If a person behaves himself as if he had no fear that means that he really has no fear. Such trainings can really be effective. Some people should be taught proper manners and right ways of expressing their ideas, others should be taught how to socialize and how to be self– confident and so on.
But this way of dealing with psychological problems reminds me a fable about a devil who wanted to become a saint and he implored a priest famous for his sainthood to teach him how to become a saint. Naturally the priest refused for a long time but seeing how sincerely the devil pleaded with him, he finally agreed. He said: “As you are begging so hard here is the first commandment: Whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. Strictly follow this commandment!” The devil was pleased and he left. But he reappeared in the evening bruised all over. “What ‘s happened?”– the priest was surprised – “I have told you: Whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other one!” “Yes, – answered the devil, – but I was slapped on the left cheek!”
The priest had to explain to the devil how and in what circumstances one should follow this commandment correctly. It turned out that in some situations one should really let be hit another time whatever part of the body was hit first. In another situation one should run away as soon as possible, in still other situation it is worth to rebuff but by peaceful means, and sometimes it is necessary to bravely defend oneself. In still other cases it is sensible not to go to an unsuitable place and not to have anything to do with bad people and in the fifth case – to evade a blow time! And so on. A detailed instruction was needed for every case; it became a whole book.
But the devil always got into a mess, as there was usually a variant of behavior that wasn’t taken into account in the instruction book, besides he didn’t always have time to take out the book, to find the needed page and to read the right advice! And there were other commandments and they also needed numerous commentaries and explanations, exceptions and variants of behavior.
Many years passed, the book became huge the priest died and the devil failed to learn how to be a saint! Why? What was the mistake? How would you answer this question? Our answer you will read a little later.
2. The level of thinking. The second way to resolve the problem is to influence the client’s thoughts. Potentially thoughts contain a whole set of possible ways of behavior. The right thoughts allow to behave correctly without working out certain ways of behavior, modifying them according to circumstances and tasks.
Thoughts are integrated in a logical system. By logic rules we can combine different thoughts, make conclusions, in doing so influence various areas of a person’s life, following logical ties between phenomena of his psychic life and different situations and ways of behavior. People are used to subordinating their behavior to logic and if a doctor could prove some idea to a client, this idea begins to transform the client’s behavior, effect his decisions and emotions. This is the basis of cognitive– behavioral therapy.
3. The level of understanding. Deeper and more generalized is the level of understanding and meaning. When a person understands something that he couldn’t understand before, he has the feeling of insight, of discovery. Through the process of understanding a person discovers a new meaning of phenomena which opens up for him new opportunities. The meaning can be expressed by different thoughts both verbally and not verbally, for instance, by images.
This is how a teacher can make sure that his student understands properly what has been explained, asking the student to say the same thing but in his own words or to do some unusual task on the ground of what he understood. One and the same meaning can be expressed by different phrases, in different languages, for example, in Russian, in Finnish, in German, in Chinese or it can be expressed by gestures or images. The meaning itself doesn’t have its own universal language, it doesn’t have its own form of expression and yet it can find various forms of expression.
A Chinese fable says about it in the following way: “Words are only traps for the meaning. When a beast is captured the trap is forgotten. Where can I find a man who forgot about words in order to talk to him? “
Our psyche prefers to talk to us in the language of images. Almost all discoveries were made when a person became relaxed and switched off his familiar fussing around thoughts, then his psyche sleeping or meditating gave rise to images whose meaning solved the task. This is how Archimedes relaxed in the bath and discovered his famous law. He was so excited that he jumped out if the bath and was running about Syracuse crying: “Evrica!” [which means “I’ve found!”]. Mendeleev saw his periodic table in his dream as a solitaire. And Bach saw his fugues in his dream as Gothic cathedrals.
They say that the inventor of sewing machine Elias Howe spent two years on his research, got broke but failed to achieve the desirable result. And once nearly in a complete despair he fell asleep in his laboratory on his drawings. He had a dream that he was somewhere in Africa, he was caught by cannibal savages who tied up his hands and legs, pushed him into a tub of water, put a lid on and began to boil it. Hot water made the ropes get loose, he freed his hands and legs pulled away the lid and began to get out of the tub. But the cannibals came running at once and started to push him back into the tub with spears, he screamed with terror and woke up. “Their spears were kind of unusual, – he thought in surprise, – they had holes in the spikes!” And he invented a needle for sewing machines! The subconscious coded the solution in images but he was lucky to decode it. We also ask the subconscious in terms of images and then interpret its answer!
Insight is an ecstatic reaction to the opened truth. In place of a dead– end there appeared unusual opportunities! Everything became clear, understandable and… nice, even beautiful! The discovery of new ways arouses the feeling of liberation and joy. The tension that chains you eases and much energy comes instead which overfills you. Now you can act, now you will gain success, victory and new discoveries. There will be no end to new space and miracles! Understanding easily gives rise to new ideas, they come in a free flow, because the dam is broken and what follows are numerous consequences of the discovery or the whole chain of liberating discoveries.
That’s why we say:
There are people who can at once understand a hint.
There are people who can understand when you explain to them. There are people who can understand only from their own experience.
There are people who can understand only when everybody around them has understood.
And there are people who can never understand.
Psychoanalyses, humanistic psychotherapy, gestalt therapy and all trends of psychotherapy oriented towards awareness and self– knowledge work at the level of insight.
4. The level of states. However, there is a deeper level than that of understanding. Understanding may be blocked or on the contrary stimulated by emotional states. In the state of anger, it is not possible to open up for yourself tenderness, in the state of constrain and fear you cannot understand trust and calmness. Stiffness, depression, anxiety, bitterness and other similar states aren’t conductive to self– knowledge and creativeness. And on the contrary, different negative feelings give rise to numerous was of self– deceit called protections. To see yourself as you really are may be very difficult and painful, but avoiding the truth you will not find the truth. So many clients prefer to slide on the surface trying to avoid the consequences, but not to touch on the true reasons of their suffering. So they prefer to learn the skills of outer behavior or just take some medicine. Then there is no need to work on yourself. So if creativeness and insight are blocked by negative emotional states, they must be stimulated by positive states, when a person