Fanny and the Servant Problem. Jerome Klapka Jerome

I never did. I’ve never told him anything about my family.

      BENNET. Curious. I was given to understand it was rather a classy affair.

      FANNY. I can’t help what other people may have done. Because some silly idiot of a man may possibly – [She will try a new tack. She leaves the door and comes to him.] Uncle, dear, wouldn’t it be simpler for you all to go away? He’s awfully fond of me. He’ll do anything I ask him. I could merely say that I didn’t like you and get him to pension you off. You and aunt could have a little roadside inn somewhere – with ivy.

      BENNET. Seeing that together with the stables and the garden there are twenty-three of us —

      FANNY. No, of course, he couldn’t pension you all. You couldn’t expect —

      BENNET. I think his lordship might prefer to leave things as they are. Good servants nowadays are not so easily replaced. And neither your aunt nor I are at an age when change appeals to one.

      FANNY. You see, it’s almost bound to creep out sooner or later, and then —

      BENNET. We will make it as late as possible [He crosses and rings the bell], giving you time to prove to his lordship that you are not incapable of learning.

      FANNY [she drops back on the settee. She is half-crying.] Some people would be pleased that their niece had married well.