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The Antiquary — Volume 02


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discovery did you employ?"

      "Only a simple suffumigation," said the Baronet, "accompanied by availing ourselves of the suitable planetary hour."

      "Simple suffumigation? simple nonsensification — planetary hour? planetary fiddlestick! Sapiens dominabitur astris. My dear Sir Arthur, that fellow has made a gull of you above ground and under ground, and he would have made a gull of you in the air too, if he had been by when you was craned up the devil's turnpike yonder at Halket-head — to be sure the transformation would have been then peculiarly apropos."

      "Well, Mr. Oldbuck, I am obliged to you for your indifferent opinion of my discernment; but I think you will give me credit for having seen what I say I saw."

      "Certainly, Sir Arthur," said the Antiquary, — "to this extent at least, that I know Sir Arthur Wardour will not say he saw anything but what he thought he saw."

      "Well, then," replied the Baronet, "as there is a heaven above us, Mr. Oldbuck, I saw, with my own eyes, these coins dug out of the chancel of St. Ruth at midnight. And as to Dousterswivel, although the discovery be owing to his science, yet, to tell the truth, I do not think he would have had firmness of mind to have gone through with it if I had not been beside him."

      "Ay! indeed?" said Oldbuck, in the tone used when one wishes to hear the end of a story before making any comment.

      "Yes truly," continued Sir Arthur — "I assure you I was upon my guard — we did hear some very uncommon sounds, that is certain, proceeding from among the ruins."

      "Oh, you did?" said Oldbuck; "an accomplice hid among them, I suppose?"

      "Not a jot," said the Baronet; — "the sounds, though of a hideous and preternatural character, rather resembled those of a man who sneezes violently than any other — one deep groan I certainly heard besides; and Dousterswivel assures me that he beheld the spirit Peolphan, the Great Hunter of the North — (look for him in your Nicolaus Remigius, or Petrus Thyracus, Mr. Oldbuck) — who mimicked the motion of snuff-taking and its effects."

      "These indications, however singular as proceeding from such a personage, seem to have been apropos to the matter," said the Antiquary; "for you see the case, which includes these coins, has all the appearance of being an old-fashioned Scottish snuff-mill. But you persevered, in spite of the terrors of this sneezing goblin?"

      "Why, I think it probable that a man of inferior sense or consequence might have given way; but I was jealous of an imposture, conscious of the duty I owed to my family in maintaining my courage under every contingency, and therefore I compelled Dousterswivel, by actual and violent threats, to proceed with what he was about to do; — and, sir, the proof of his skill and honesty is this parcel of gold and silver pieces, out of which I beg you to select such coins or medals as will best suit your collection."

      "Why, Sir Arthur, since you are so good, and on condition you will permit me to mark the value according to Pinkerton's catalogue and appreciation, against your account in my red book, I will with pleasure select" —

      "Nay," said Sir Arthur Wardour, "I do not mean you should consider them as anything but a gift of friendship and least of all would I stand by the valuation of your friend Pinkerton, who has impugned the ancient and trustworthy authorities upon which, as upon venerable and moss-grown pillars, the credit of Scottish antiquities reposed."

      "Ay, ay," rejoined Oldbuck, "you mean, I suppose, Mair and Boece, the Jachin and Boaz, not of history but of falsification and forgery. And notwithstanding all you have told me, I look on your friend Dousterswivel to be as apocryphal as any of them."

      "Why then, Mr. Oldbuck," said Sir Arthur, "not to awaken old disputes, I suppose you think, that because I believe in the ancient history of my country, I have neither eyes nor ears to ascertain what modern events pass before me?"

      "Pardon me, Sir Arthur," rejoined the Antiquary; "but I consider all the affectation of terror which this worthy gentleman, your coadjutor, chose to play off, as being merely one part of his trick or mystery. And with respect to the gold or silver coins, they are so mixed and mingled in country and date, that I cannot suppose they could be any genuine hoard, and rather suppose them to be, like the purses upon the table of Hudibras's lawyer —

                             — Money placed for show,

                         Like nest-eggs, to make clients lay,

                         And for his false opinions pay. —

      It is the trick of all professions, my dear Sir Arthur. Pray, may I ask you how much this discovery cost you?"

      "About ten guineas."

      "And you have gained what is equivalent to twenty in actual bullion, and what may be perhaps worth as much more to such fools as ourselves, who are willing to pay for curiosity. This was allowing you a tempting profit on the first hazard, I must needs admit. And what is the next venture he proposes?"

      "An hundred and fifty pounds; — I have given him one-third part of the money, and I thought it likely you might assist me with the balance."

      "I should think that this cannot be meant as a parting blow — is not of weight and importance sufficient; he will probably let us win this hand also, as sharpers manage a raw gamester. — Sir Arthur, I hope you believe I would serve you?"

      "Certainly, Mr. Oldbuck; I think my confidence in you on these occasions leaves no room to doubt that."

      "Well, then, allow me to speak to Dousterswivel. If the money can be advanced usefully and advantageously for you, why, for old neighbourhood's sake, you shall not want it but if, as I think, I can recover the treasure for you without making such an advance, you will, I presume, have no objection!"

      "Unquestionably, I can have none whatsoever."

      "Then where is Dousterswivel?" continued the Antiquary.

      "To tell you the truth, he is in my carriage below; but knowing your prejudice against him" —

      "I thank Heaven, I am not prejudiced against any man, Sir Arthur: it is systems, not individuals, that incur my reprobation." He rang the bell. "Jenny, Sir Arthur and I offer our compliments to Mr. Dousterswivel, the gentleman in Sir Arthur's carriage, and beg to have the pleasure of speaking with him here."

      Jenny departed and delivered her message. It had been by no means a part of the project of Dousterswivel to let Mr. Oldbuck into his supposed mystery. He had relied upon Sir Arthur's obtaining the necessary accommodation without any discussion as to the nature of the application, and only waited below for the purpose of possessing himself of the deposit as soon as possible, for he foresaw that his career was drawing to a close. But when summoned to the presence of Sir Arthur and Mr. Oldbuck, he resolved gallantly to put confidence in his powers of impudence, of which, the reader may have observed, his natural share was very liberal.

      CHAPTER SECOND

                                — And this Doctor,

                   Your sooty smoky-bearded compeer, he

                   Will close you so much gold in a bolt's head,

                   And, on a turn, convey in the stead another

                   With sublimed mercury, that shall burst i' the heat,

                            And all fly out in fumo.

The Alchemist.

      "How do you do, goot Mr. Oldenbuck? and I do hope your young gentleman, Captain M'Intyre, is getting better again?