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The Life of Timon of Athens


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I had no angry wit to be a lord. Art not thou a merchant?

MERCHANT

      Ay, Apemantus.

APEMANTUS

      Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not!

MERCHANT

      If traffic do it, the gods do it.

APEMANTUS

      Traffic's thy god, and thy god confound thee!

      [Trumpet sounds. Enter a MESSENGER.]

TIMON

      What trumpet's that?

MESSENGER

      'Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty horse,

      All of companionship.

TIMON

      Pray entertain them; give them guide to us.

      [Exeunt some attendants.]

      You must needs dine with me. Go not you hence

      Till I have thank'd you; when dinner's done,

      Show me this piece. I am joyful of your sights.

      [Enter ALCIBIADES, with the his Company.]

      Most welcome, sir!

      [They salute.]

APEMANTUS

      So, so, there!

      Aches contract and starve your supple joints!

      That there should be small love 'mongst these sweet knaves,

      And all this courtesy! The strain of man's bred out

      Into baboon and monkey.

ALCIBIADES

      Sir, you have sav'd my longing, and I feed

      Most hungerly on your sight.

TIMON

      Right welcome, sir!

      Ere we depart we'll share a bounteous time

      In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.

      [Exeunt all but APEMANTUS.]

      [Enter two LORDS.]

FIRST LORD

      What time o' day is't, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

      Time to be honest.

FIRST LORD

      That time serves still.

APEMANTUS

      The more accursed thou that still omitt'st it.

SECOND LORD

      Thou art going to Lord Timon's feast.

APEMANTUS

      Ay; to see meat fill knaves and wine heat fools.

SECOND LORD

      Fare thee well, fare thee well.

APEMANTUS

      Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.

SECOND LORD

      Why, Apemantus?

APEMANTUS

      Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.

FIRST LORD

      Hang thyself!

      APEMANTUS. No, I will do nothing at thy bidding: make thy requests to thy friend.

SECOND LORD

      Away, unpeaceable dog! or I'll spurn thee hence.

APEMANTUS

      I will fly, like a dog, the heels of an ass.

      [Exit.]

FIRST LORD

      He's opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in,

      And taste Lord Timon's bounty? he outgoes

      The very heart of kindness.

SECOND LORD

      He pours it out; Plutus, the god of gold,

      Is but his steward: no meed but he repays

      Sevenfold above itself; no gift to him

      But breeds the giver a return exceeding

      All use of quittance.

FIRST LORD

      The noblest mind he carries

      That ever govern'd man.

SECOND LORD

      Long may he live in fortunes! Shall we in?

FIRST LORD

      I'll keep you company.

      [Exeunt.]

      Scene II. – The Same. A room of state in TIMON'S House

      [Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served in; FLAVIUS and Others attending: then enter LORD TIMON, ALCIBIADES, Lords, and Senators, VENTIDIUS and Attendants. Then comes, dropping after all, APEMANTUS, discontentedly, like himself.]

VENTIDIUS

      Most honour'd Timon,

      It hath pleas'd the gods to remember my father's age,

      And call him to long peace.

      He is gone happy, and has left me rich:

      Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound

      To your free heart, I do return those talents,

      Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help

      I deriv'd liberty.

TIMON

      O! by no means,

      Honest Ventidius: you mistake my love;

      I gave it freely ever; and there's none

      Can truly say he gives, if he receives:

      If our betters play at that game, we must not dare

      To imitate them; faults that are rich are fair.

VENTIDIUS

      A noble spirit.

      [They all stand ceremoniously looking on TIMON.]

TIMON

      Nay, my lords, ceremony was but devis'd at first

      To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,

      Recanting goodness, sorry ere 'tis shown;

      But where there is true friendship there needs none.

      Pray, sit; more welcome are ye to my fortunes

      Than my fortunes to me.

      [They sit.]

FIRST LORD

      My lord, we always have confess'd it.

APEMANTUS

      Ho, ho! confess'd it; hang'd it, have you not?

TIMON

      O! Apemantus, you are welcome.

APEMANTUS

      No,

      You shall not make me welcome:

      I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.

TIMON

      Fie! thou'rt a churl; ye've got a humour there

      Does not become a man; 'tis much to blame.

      They say, my lords, Ira furor brevis est;

      But