Harper's New Monthly Magazine, Vol III, No 13, 1851. Various

no covetysnesse in the encreasing and sparing of your money onlie, but pryncipallie for your solace, and to cause the health of your bodie, and speciallie of your soule, for when ye purpose to goe on your disportes of fysshynge, ye will not desire greatlie manie persons with you, which woulde lett you of your game. And thenne ye may serve God devoutlie, in saying affectuouslie your customable prayer; and thus doing, ye shall eschew and voyd manie vices."

      "Angling is itselfe a vice," cries Erasmus from y^e thresholde; "for my part I will fish none, save and except for pickled oysters."

      "In the regions below," answers father; and then laughinglie tells Linacre of his firste dialogue with Erasmus, who had beene feasting in my Lord Mayor's cellar: – "'Whence come you?' 'From below.' 'What were they about there?' 'Eating live oysters, and drinking out of leather jacks.' 'Either you are Erasmus,' etc. 'Either you are More or nothing.'"

      "'Neither more nor less,' you should have rejoyned," sayth the doctor.

      "How I wish I had," says father; "don't torment me with a jest I might have made and did not make; 'speciallie to put downe Erasmus."

      "Concedo nulli," sayth Erasmus.

      "Why are you so lazy?" asks Linacre; "I am sure you can speak English if you will."

      "Soe far from it," sayth Erasmus, "that I made my incapacitie an excuse for declining an English rectory. Albeit, you know how Wareham requited me; saying, in his kind, generous way, I served the Church more by my pen than I coulde by preaching sermons in a countrie village."

      Sayth Linacre, "The archbishop hath made another remark, as much to y^e purpose: to wit, that he has received from you the immortalitie which emperors and kings cannot bestow."

      "They cannot even bid a smoking sirloin retain its heat an hour after it hath left the fire," sayth father. "Tilly-vally! as my good Alice says, – let us remember the universal doom, 'fruges consumere nati,' and philosophize over our ale and bracket."

      "Not Cambridge ale, neither," sayth Erasmus.

      "Will you never forget that unlucky beverage?" sayth father. "Why, man, think how manie poore scholars there be, that content themselves, as I have hearde one of St. John's declare, with a penny piece of beef amongst four, stewed into pottage with a little salt and oatmeal; and that after fasting from four o'clock in the morning! Say grace for us this daye, Erasmus, with goode heart."

      At table, discourse flowed soe thicke and faste that I mighte aim in vayn to chronicle it – and why should I? dwelling as I doe at y^e fountayn head? Onlie that I find pleasure, alreadie, in glancing over the foregoing pages whensoever they concern father and Erasmus, and wish they were more faithfullie recalled and better writ. One thing sticks by me, – a funny reply of father's to a man who owed him money and who put him off with "Memento Morieris." "I bid you," retorted father, "Memento Mori Æris, and I wish you woulde take as goode care to provide for y^e one as I do for the other."

      Linacre laughed much at this, and sayd, – "That was real wit; a spark struck at the moment; and with noe ill-nature in it, for I am sure your debtor coulde not help laughing."

      "Not he," quoth Erasmus. "More's drollerie is like that of a young gentlewoman of his name, which shines without burning." … and, oddlie enow, he looked acrosse at me. I am sure he meant Bess.

      Father broughte home a strange gueste to-daye, – a converted Jew, with grizzlie beard, furred gown, and eyes that shone like lamps lit in dark cavernes. He had beene to Benmarine and Tremeçen, to y^e Holie Citie and to Damascus, to Urmia and Assyria, and I think alle over y^e knowne world; and tolde us manie strange tales, one hardlie knew how to believe; as, for example, of a sea-coast tribe, called y^e Balouches, who live on fish and build theire dwellings of the bones. Alsoe, of a race of his countrie-men beyond Euphrates who believe in Christ, but know nothing of y^e Pope; and of whom were y^e Magians y^t followed y^e Star. This agreeth not with our legend. He averred that, though soe far apart from theire brethren, theire speech was y^e same, and even theire songs; and he sang or chaunted one which he sayd was common among y^e Jews alle over y^e world, and had beene so ever since theire citie was ruinated and y^e people captivated, and yet it was never sett down by note. Erasmus, who knows little or nought of Hebrew, listened to y^e words with curiositie, and made him repeate them twice or thrice: and though I know not y^e character, it seemed to me they sounded thus: —

      Adir Hu yivne bethcha beccaro,

      El, b'ne; El, b'ne; El, b'ne;

      Bethcha beccaro.

      Though Christianish, he woulde not eat pig's face; and sayd swine's flesh was forbidden by y^e Hebrew law for its unwholesomenesse in hot countries and hot weather, rather than by way of arbitrarie prohibition. Daisy took a great dislike to this man, and woulde not sit next him.

      In the hay-field alle y^e evening. Swathed father in a hay-rope, and made him pay y^e fine, which he pretended to resist. Cecy was just about to cast one round Erasmus, when her heart failed and she ran away, colouring to y^e eyes. He sayd, he never saw such pretty shame. Father reclining on y^e hay, with head on my lap and his eyes shut, Bess asked if he were asleep. He made answer, "Yes, and dreaming." I askt, "Of what?" "Of a far-off future daye, Meg; when thou and I shall looke back on this hour, and this hay-field, and my head on thy lap."

      "Nay, but what a stupid dream, Mr. More," says mother. "Why, what woulde you dreame of, Mrs. Alice?" "Forsooth, if I dreamed at alle, when I was wide awake, it shoulde be of being Lord Chancellor at y^e leaste." "Well, wife, I forgive thee for not saying at the most. Lord Chancellor quotha! And you woulde be Dame Alice, I trow, and ride in a whirlecote, and keep a Spanish jennet, and a couple of grey hounds, and wear a train before and behind, and carry a jerfalcon on your fist." "On my wrist." "No, that's not such a pretty word as t'other! Go to, go!"

      Straying from y^e others, to a remote corner of the meadow, or ever I was aware, I came close upon Gammer Gurney, holding somewhat with much care. "Give ye good den, Mistress Meg," quoth she, "I cannot abear to rob y^e birds of theire nests; but I knows you and yours be kind to dumb creatures, soe here's a nest o' young owzels for ye – and I can't call 'em dumb nowther, for they'll sing bravelie some o' these days." "How hast fared, of late, Gammer?" quoth I. "Why, well enow for such as I," she made answer; "since I lost y^e use o' my right hand, I can nowther spin, nor nurse sick folk, but I pulls rushes, and that brings me a few pence, and I be a good herbalist; and, because I says one or two English prayers and hates y^e priests, some folks thinks me a witch." "But why dost hate y^e priests?" quoth I. "Never you mind," she gave answer, "I've reasons manie; and for my English prayers, they were taught me by a gentleman I nursed, that's now a saint in heaven, along with poor Joan."