to share with clients and people at my workshops and Live Brave events. The original vision was largely just questions, a few quotes, empty pages and little else. As you can see, it has turned into something far bigger. So thank you, Lucy, for believing in me – a third time around – and allowing the scope and structure of this book to evolve as I dived into writing it. Thanks also to the team at Wiley who helped shepherd it into your hands right now.
Given this is my fourth book, it would be reasonable to assume I'd have this whole ‘book-birthing' process down to a fine art by now. Aaagh … if only that were true! From starting my first book Find Your Courage – when I had four kids under the age of seven (probably more crazy than courageous) – to this one, bringing a book to life while keeping up with my own has always been a juggling act. Disappearing for three months to a quiet cabin in the woods has simply not been an option. So, of all the people deserving of acknowledgement, my husband Andrew tops the list. Sharing my life with someone who is also my biggest cheerleader is a blessing I count daily. Or most days … some I forget.
I also want to acknowledge the many big-hearted people who make up my ‘tribe'. My friends, whom I can always count on to make me laugh, let me cry and to have the occasional vent with when my best-laid plans fall apart (which happened while writing this book … but I'll save that for another day). In particular, to Anna Quin, Christine Louden, Emma Hogan, Sarah Garrow … thank you for your listening ear and loving support at crucial moments throughout the last year as this book came into being. Also to my treasured family – Mum, Dad, Cath, Anne, Steve, Pauline and Frank – and co.! I'm so blessed to be part of the Kleinitz clan.
A shout-out also to my team – Val, Kim, James and Angela – for having my back and supporting me as I work to make my own mark. Also to Sal Bonney, Margie Edmonds and my generous in-laws, Chris and Di Warrell, for helping on the home front. It takes a village and I'm so glad you're in mine!
Finally, I want to acknowledge my four genuinely remarkable teenage children – Lachlan, Maddy, Ben and Matthew – who make me look like a good mum despite my shortfalls. Your advice on how to be a better parent, use hashtags, upgrade my 80s dance moves, sneeze more quietly and ‘get my act together' is both highly grounding and indispensable. While I know you feel you have enough books to read at school without one more added to the list, I hope that when you do finally pick this one up you'll find some small piece of advice you haven't heard already. You each have a uniquely important mark to make on this world, and encouraging you to make it is my greatest privilege.
Introduction
I'm truly grateful this book has found its way into your hands.
I wrote it for you because I know you have a heartfelt desire to live a deeply meaningful life, one that inspires you even as it challenges you. A life rich in purpose and fused with passion. A life you can one day look back upon without regret but with a deep sense of satisfaction, gratitude and wonder.
Yet I am guessing that there are times you find yourself feeling stuck, wondering whether there is more to life than the one you are living. Whether there is more you could be doing. Whether you are playing too small, living too safe or settling for too little.
I've felt that way myself. Many times. Sometimes I still do. Times when my desire to stamp my biggest mark upon the world is wrestled to the ground by my fear that I simply don't have what it takes; that I'm deluding myself and I'm destined to fall short of the mark. Far short.
Which is what has brought us together, here, right now. Because I know that I'm not alone: that there are millions like me who also sometimes wonder, ‘What else?' or ‘What if?' People with wonderful talents and burning dreams who want to do more and be more, but who so often doubt whether they can. People like you and me who aren't content to settle for less than the life we are capable of living, but who so easily get swept along by the shallow currents of our culture. A culture that celebrates the superficial which feeds our ego, at the expense of the meaningful which feeds our soul.
Of course, there is no shortage of social-media posts and t-shirts emblazoned with catchphrases imploring us to Think Big, Shoot for the Stars and #JustDoIt.
Few people would argue with their sentiments.
After all, to quote one of the most well-worn maxims, ‘life is not a dress rehearsal', right?
Yet, for all the messages we get encouraging us to ‘lean in' and ‘aim high', most people struggle to live them out. This is despite the thousands of books written to help them do just that. (I've written three myself.) While most of these books offer useful insights to help move people into action, they often fall short in transforming the lives of their readers or of their families, teams, organisations and communities.
The reason is simple.
FORGING A DEEPLY MEANINGFUL LIFE IS FRAUGHT WITH RISK.
The risk of failure, the risk of rejection, falling flat on your face and feeling like a fool.
Given we're wired to avoid all these risks, it's little wonder so many people veer away from them. Taking the road less travelled just seems so hard.
Too hard.
It's hard because, at the core of our being and woven through every thread of our psychological DNA, we are terrified of falling short – far short – of achieving our goals, much less ‘reaching the stars' or leaving a legacy that will far outlast our years on earth.
Hardwired into our boards at birth is a potent and primal force against change: against exposing ourselves to anything that might threaten our sense of identity, security and belonging.
AND SO, FOR ALL OUR GOOD INTENTIONS TO BE STRONG AND BRAVE, WE SO OFTEN HOLD BACK FROM DOING THE VERY THINGS WE KNOW DEEP IN OUR HEARTS WILL HELP US CREATE MORE OF WHAT WE WANT AND TO CHANGE WHAT WE DON'T.
More fulfilment, more connection, more growth.
Less melancholy, less conflict, less spinning our wheels in a frenzy of busyness without feeling like we're moving any closer towards the very things we yearn for most.
Hence this book.
Since embarking upon my ‘second career' nearly 20 years ago, I've had the privilege of working with thousands of people from different walks of life and cultures around the world. Entrepreneurs. Small-business owners. Leaders in business, government, education, healthcare and social enterprise. Time and time again, what I have found is that while they often come to me looking for answers, the most powerful answers they ever get are those they arrive at themselves when they sit quietly, unguardedly, with the big questions.
What is your ultimate outcome? What do you yearn for most, when all that sparkles is stripped away? Where is fear holding the balance of power in your life? Is the security it's giving you worth what you're giving up? What would be possible if you stepped outside your story?
These are just a few of the questions I've asked people over the years to help them on their ‘quest' to live a deeply authentic and meaningful life. I share them here only because I know that if you sit quietly with these questions you'll find yourself having to think a little harder and dig a little deeper about your own.
With both my clients and the people who have attended my programs, I have witnessed the power that flows when we give ourselves the emotional space to connect to our deepest desires and uncover the fears holding them hostage. The possibilities that can open up when we remove our armour and get clear about the highest purpose for our lives – the most meaningful mark we hope to make on the world – are as boundless as they are beautiful.
It's why this book is different from others I've written or the many wonderful books that may already line your shelves. While it's far more than a journal, my intention for writing it is to help you access the wisdom already inside you, uncovering your own answers to life's most pressing questions.
As such, I have deliberately excluded anything I felt could distract from or dilute the impact of the questions. While all of the concepts in the book are backed by empirical research, it doesn't detail studies about