own rudder of conviction and step into their unique talents, interests, and experiences.
Myths and Mortals is the story of how successors become strong leaders in their own right, demystifying the idealized version of their predecessors and recognizing their shortcomings as well as honoring their successes. These leaders step out of the shadows of their predecessors and define a new reality for themselves, their family, and their business. This book is not the definitive narrative of the stories of these well-known families and businesses, but it is the authentic narrative of these successors who have had the courage to step out of the shadows of their parents, step into leadership, and improve on what has been given to them. In my research, I discovered that while there were clear indicators that someone would succeed in the family business, each story was unique. That's because each person had to wrestle with the task of developing a realistic sense of the predecessor (their strengths and weaknesses) and who he or she was (his or her strengths or weaknesses). Massimo Ferragamo, second-generation member of Salvatore Ferragamo, explained it this way:
Some people chase [their parent's success] for their lifetime – sons of actors, sons of singers, they think that they can be just like them and always live with a cloud of [the] parent in their lives. This is very dangerous because everyone is different…you have to understand what your calling in life [is], what you should be doing and improve on what has been given to you, but you can't emulate.
The chase to be like someone else is exhausting, unending, and unattainable. A son or daughter cannot catch up to that which he or she was never meant to be. In fact, based on my research, I discovered that successors who develop a strong sense of self-awareness, a sense of their own identity, who can separate themselves from their legendary parents and grandparents, have the greatest chance of creating what is most foundational to success in a family business – credibility. Credibility has two components: believing in yourself (internal credibility) and others believing in you (external credibility). It's having enough self-confidence to inspire others' confidence in you.
Internal credibility is the degree to which we perceive ourselves to be qualified, trustworthy, and capable in the world. Internal credibility starts when our parents give us an inherent sense that we are valued and loved for who we are. We then can measure our credibility by our performance at certain tasks and by external verification of success. Internal credibility is solidified when we hear someone else tell us, “You did a great job.” This objective verification can reinforce a subjective understanding of ourselves as valuable. We have inherent value, but we also have value in the world.
External credibility is the degree to which we have established our reputation with others, who come to believe we are qualified, competent, and credible through our actions and behaviors. We establish external credibility objectively through our performance and our track record, and subjectively by our ability to understand and have empathy for others and respond appropriately to their needs. We know we have external credibility when people choose to follow us.
It's impossible for a successor to lead without credibility. The mere reality of being a successor encourages the successor to think about his value, strengths, and skill sets only in relation to his parents and grandparents. In many ways, a young leader in a family business is in the one-down position. Employees may think he or she doesn't truly deserve the role of leader. Board members may support the decision, but inwardly think, “She will never be like her father.” And the media tend to look for news that supports failure, not success. This is the successor's curse.
This was the case for the Steinbrenner family, the owners of the New York Yankees. For years, George Steinbrenner (widely referred to as “The Boss”) and the New York Yankees dominated the New York City sports scene. New Yorkers revered Steinbrenner for bringing championship baseball back to the world's most dynamic city. In November 2008, due to declining health, George passed the reins of the Yankees to his son, Hal. In contrast to George's gregarious, publicity-hungry personality, Hal was introverted and preferred to focus on the business of baseball rather than seeking the spotlight. Stepping into the role that his father had filled for so long was a daunting task.
This stark contrast in personalities between father and son led many in the New York press to question Hal's passion for baseball, his commitment to winning, and his ability to lead baseball's most famous franchise. In fact, in 2014, four years after his father's death, and six years after he became the managing partner of the Yankees, The New York Post published an article titled “Hal Steinbrenner Reveals a Very Un-Boss-Like Agenda for Yankees.” The shadow cast by George Steinbrenner's legacy continues to draw public focus to the ways Hal is different from his father, and the automatic assumption is that this is bad.2 In referencing the Yankee's inability to make the playoffs in 2014, this article notes that George Steinbrenner's traditional approach was to assign blame and fire managers in an attempt to appease the fans. Yet Hal set a different course when he responded to the media. He said, “Changes will not be made in the organization for show. You will be held responsible if the job is not getting done. Any change we do make, I will feel the job was not getting done and we could do better.”
The assumption is that in order to be successful, you have to lead the way of the predecessor. The reality is that Hal's skill sets may be better suited to the needs of today's Yankees, but this will be determined over time. First, Hal's task is to prove himself, to earn his credibility, and build his track record. Hal Steinbrenner faces the constant challenge of living in his legendary father's shadow, questioned at every turn when he does something that seems different from the way George would have done it.
This type of questioning can make successors feel like mere mortals in the shadow of their mythic parents. It can spur self-doubt, the biggest obstacle to their credibility and to becoming a generative leader, someone who can build a foundation for success across generations. At some level, every leader has to believe in his or her right to lead. It's a long, tortuous road to establish credibility in a successful family business. But those who succeed have figured out a way to establish authenticity and, consequently, credibility, which serves as a foundation for successful leadership. One of the tasks in establishing this credibility is to become aware of – and then to address – the myths surrounding the success of the previous generation.
I Am Not My Father (Differentiation)
Successors can easily lose themselves when they are caught in the shadow of a dominating mythology. Family businesses (and the myths surrounding them) encourage enmeshment, the belief that everyone should think in one way. This stifles the individual's sense of autonomy and sense of personal boundaries. The process of finding one's self starts when the successor can begin to separate and push against the predecessor. Bill Wrigley Jr. started that separation when he realized, “I am not my father. I don't have to lead like him.”
Separating is the process of differentiation, which is the cornerstone of a family business legacy's foundation, and a theme I will come back to repeatedly in this book. Differentiation is the ongoing work of developing a strong sense of self, and harnessing that strength for the growth of the family legacy. Everyone is faced with the task of differentiation, of growing up to become their own person. However, it's especially challenging for successors who bring family legends to work with them every day. The more dominant the mythology and the more powerful the personality that fuels it, the harder it becomes for a successor to downsize the hero and make him human, and to break free of the shadow.
Differentiation is a successor's inner work, and it is a lifetime process. My research shows that successful successors become generative leaders by developing a practice of pursuing differentiation and establishing a strong sense of self. Bill Wrigley pushed the William Wrigley Jr. Company to reinvent itself when he found the strength to push away from his father and lean into his own convictions. At that point, he realized he could do things differently from his father. Bill Wrigley released himself from his father's shadow so that he could focus his energies and his emotion on doing what he needed to do to sustain the family legacy. He moved from emotional inertia to action.
It Takes a Personal Vision
The work of differentiation leads to inner illumination, as the successor, no longer eclipsed by the shadow of a legendary founder, begins to find out who