dynamics contribute to conflict, and you’re ready to mediate a problem between two or more people, head straight to Chapter 6 and follow through to Chapter 10.
Finally, if you feel you may be in over your head and you’d like to find out more about how to enlist the help of an expert, check out Chapter 11 to see what your company may be able to do.
Although this book is designed so that you can start anywhere, don’t feel obligated to jump around. If you’re a traditionalist who likes to read every book from cover to cover, just turn the page!
Chapter 1
Conflict Resolution at Work
In This Chapter
You may love your family and friends but, truth be told, you spend much of your time with the people at work. Not getting along with co-workers or having members of your team at odds with one another can be stressful and distracting. In addition, problems in the workplace rarely stay at work; they can permeate every aspect of your life. So you need to take the time to understand what’s behind a conflict, get beyond the surface issues and work to help find satisfying resolutions for everyone involved.
Settling differences effectively requires you to step back and look at the broader picture, be mindful of another person’s point of view, and take into account peripheral factors that may be creating or provoking problems, like group dynamics or workplace norms.
In this chapter, I give you an overview of conflict resolution so you can successfully mediate problems in your workplace, whether those problems are between two individuals or within a larger group. I also tell you about additional conflict resolution resources you may have at your disposal.
Considering Common Contributors to Conflict
For the most part, workplace difficulties fall into common categories, such as
Effectively addressing conflict takes into account the obvious surface issue, the emotional climate surrounding the topic, and your knowledge of the viewpoints of the people involved in the dispute. In this section, I provide insight into how differing perspectives can cause employees to feel like ships passing in the night. I also discuss emotions, touch on the importance of communication in your organisation, and look at group dynamics, including your role in the group.
You and each of the employees on your team have a lens through which you see the world and one another. Everything you see, hear and say goes through your filter on the way in and on the way out. These filters determine how you present and receive information.
Your individual kaleidoscope is shaped by things like your personal history, education, values, culture and the roles you play in your life, both at work and at home. Everything you consider important works together to create your worldview. The same is true for your co-workers.
Being familiar with your employees’ and colleagues’ values helps you resolve conflicts. For example, say that two employees are having an argument over where to stack some binders. If you can appreciate that one employee sees respect as paramount in his environment, and that his workspace is being encroached by his colleague with a lackadaisical attitude toward boundaries, you have a better chance of helping the two resolve the issue. Rather than swooping in to tell the pair that the binders they’re arguing about should go on a shelf, you can facilitate a conversation about the real issue – respect. After you address the issue of respect, where the binders should go will be relatively easy to decide.
In Chapter 2, I go into more detail about filters, values and the emotions individuals bring to conflict.
Most organisations embrace positive emotions. Where managers often falter is in failing to recognise that every emotion – from upbeat to angry – is a clue to discovering people’s personal values. Positive emotions are a sign that values are being met, while negative ones suggest that some work still needs to be done!
It’s obvious that a situation has turned emotional when tears flow or an employee ratchets up the volume when he speaks, to the point that the entire office slips into an uncomfortable silence. What’s a little more difficult is knowing what to do with such passionate responses. Emotional reactions are often seen as negative behaviour in just about any workplace, but if you spend some time investigating and interpreting them, you can get a leg up on how to resolve the trouble. Check out Chapter 2 for a complete discussion of emotions at work.
Communication