an adult wearing a diaper and having a pacifier in his or her mouth – these items were long discarded, and much as we remove these items from our lives as we grow, we also have to remove items from our Circle at times if they unbalance our Circle. How we negotiate these challenges of adding and subtracting significantly impacts the quality of our adult lives.
By the time we have reached young adulthood, most people – but not all – have expanded their Circle with activities beyond pleasure, self‐protection, and other self‐focused values. Those whose development has been stunted by trauma or neglect will still prioritize values that are life‐limiting. A person whose Circle is filled with activities limited to pleasure, for example, may take drugs or steal without concern for the future or other people. Even those who grew up in healthy and happy homes can fail to fully develop their Circle and, so, they limit their success and life satisfaction. They may have not completed a fundamental developmental challenge, stopped adding new and more meaningful content to their Circle, or failed to keep the elements of their Circle in balance.
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