continue to mystify me. You’re acting so odd for a woman… for a girl your age.” His voice betrayed his agitation again. “You admitted how you feel about me, after all. Which is no joke, as I understand… Aren’t you interested to know what I think about it?”
She turned away again and looked down at the wave rising at the base of the bridge – just as slow and sleepy as the river itself. When she felt that she could speak calmly, she turned back to Konstantin Konstantinovich and spoke, looking into his eyes. “Of course, I would like to know what you think… But I don’t want any lies. I don’t want you to reciprocate my words for any other reason but one – if you feel the same way. Which is impossible.” She dropped her gaze but then stared at her teacher again. “Since your relationship with Rimma Yakovleva has just finished with her having an abortion.” Konstantin Konstantinovich tried to say something but Dina ignored his reaction. “You haven’t had time to figure out your feelings for me, because my knees, which you had noticed this morning, is not the sum of me… and people don’t fall in love with knees. So it’s better if you say nothing. If you say right now that you’re in love with me, it’ll be the end. It will mean that you really are just a womanizer, and that you’re willing to pay any price to acquire another… another mistress.”
She turned away again, watching the black water speckled with gold, with only one thought in her head: don’t cry.
Konstantin Konstantinovich very carefully took Dina’s hand – it was cold and wet from the night’s dew. Seeing no resistance, he took her other hand and held them between his palms to warm them up. Dina didn’t fight him but neither did she look at him as she was still afraid of bursting into tears. She didn’t know and couldn’t understand why.
“All right,” said Konstantin Konstantinovich, “I will not say anything for now… except one thing: You seem to be cold.”
“No, I’m not cold,” said Dina, “It’s just my hands.”
Konstantin Konstantinovich breathed into his hands, where Dina’s fingers lay.
“Thank you.” Dina smiled.
They passed the bridge and stopped at the tram stop.
“You’re going home already?” asked Konstantin Konstantinovich.
“I don’t want any trouble at the dorms.” She looked at her watch.
“Yes, of course,” Konstantin Konstantinovich looked nervous. “But I… I don’t want to leave you… You don’t have any relatives here?”
“I do, but I don’t want to intrude on them. Especially this late at night.”
“Do you at least stay over there occasionally?”
“Very rarely, when my mom comes to visit.”
“Hmmm… You could tell them at the dorms that…” He suddenly laughed. “My God! Who am I advising to lie! Forgive me. But I truly do not want to part from you. I hope that you trust the sincerity of this?”
“Yes,” Dina said simply. “I believe you. No matter what you say.”
Slightly puzzled, Konstantin Konstantinovich asked, “What do you mean? I don’t understand…”
“What’s not to understand? I believe you,” Dina repeated forcefully.
“You believe me? After everything that you’ve found out about me?”
“Especially after everything that I’ve found out about you.” Dina explained, “You’re a sincere person. You’re a sincere womanizer. You sincerely love women… They throw themselves at you… It’s a perfect match. At least, you don’t lie to them that you’re going to marry them.” She stared at him. “Right?”
Konstantin Konstantinovich hung his head in embarrassment and laughed.
“Well… very rarely,” he continued, as if needing to justify his answer. “You’re all so different! You want the truth, the others want a lie! And the fancier, the better!” He looked at Dina again with the expression of curiosity, astonishment, and confusion, that had followed him all evening. “But this a first for me. I’ve said all sorts of things to women!”
The tram thundered as it approached the tram stop. Konstantin Konstantinovich looked questioningly at Dina.
“I’ll take the next one,” she replied to his unspoken question.
“Will we see each other again? Tomorrow?” he asked as the tram shut its doors and was swallowed by the damp darkness.
“I’m going home tomorrow for a week.”
“And then?”
“Then I have a placement until the end of July.”
“Where?” Again Konstantin Konstantinovich became nervous and made no attempt to hide this.
“Here.”
“Great!” He grinned in relief. “How wonderful that you are a perfect student! Otherwise, they would have sent you to the back of beyond for a month and a half.”
A few single drops suddenly fell from the blackness and immediately turned into a total downpour. Konstantin Konstantinovich opened his jacket and covered Dina with one half, just like a mother hen covers her chick.
“Stop it… I’m in a cloak. There!” Dina nodded towards a shop on the other side of the street.
They ran under the store’s overhang.
Dina began to wipe her face with a white batiste handkerchief, which immediately became soaked. Konstantin Konstantinovich also took out a handkerchief, which was large, checkered, and had unusual colors not seen at the shops, and wiped his wet cheeks and forehead. He suddenly took Dina’s chin in his hand and said, “Shhh, don’t move. You have a drop of water on your earlobe, like a diamond earring.”
Dina froze, staring at Konstantin Konstantinovich. He moved his gaze from the sparkling drop to Dina’s eyes and also froze. Then he carefully wiped away the drop, let Dina go and began folding up his handkerchief in fierce concentration.
Dina leaned against the dark glass window and watched the rain as it flashed in the light of the streetlamp.
Konstantin Konstantinovich, continuing to carefully fold up his handkerchief, spoke quietly. “I really wanted to kiss you.”
Dina didn’t reply at once. “So what stopped you?”
“For the first time, I was stopped by something that I’ve never experienced before.”
“What was it?”
“Well…” He kept turning the piece of fabric over and over in his hands. “Fear? No. Concern.”
“What were you concerned about?”
“I was afraid to offend you… to incur your displeasure.”
“Funny.”
“Indeed. Before today, I was sure that I knew female nature as well as I know my own five fingers. I was certain that I knew when and what women want. I always knew how I should act.” He smiled wryly. “I would never think to question whether I should kiss a woman or not. I knew that a woman must be kissed at every convenient… and even inconvenient opportunity.” He suddenly became serious and asked worriedly: “What if I had done it? Would you have…”
“I wouldn’t have run away,” said Dina. “And I wouldn’t have slapped you.”
Konstantin Konstantinovich chuckled and shook his head. After a brief pause, he asked, and she could hear the nervousness in his voice, “Can I try again?” He turned to Dina.
“Not anymore,” she replied calmly. “I don’t like men that I have to manage: You can do this, you can’t do that… Here comes my tram!” She turned up her collar and got ready to dash to the stop.
Konstantin Konstantinovich took her elbow and turned her to face him. “But we haven’t said goodbye or planned our next date.”
Dina