grabbed the plates and walked to the kitchen, where she dumped both meals into the trash, whole fish and all. She changed out of the dress and switched to sweats. After that, she came back down to the dining room, grabbed the open bottle of Shiraz, poured a glass full to the brim, and took a gulp as she made her way into the living room.
She plopped down on the couch, turned on the TV, and settled in for what appeared to be a marathon of Life Below Zero, a reality series about people who voluntarily lived in remote sections of Alaska. She justified it by telling herself this would help her appreciate that there were people who had it far worse than she did in her fancy house in Southern California with her expensive wine and her seventy-inch flat-screen television.
Somewhere around the third episode and a half empty bottle she drifted off.
She was awakened by Kyle gently shaking her shoulder. Looking up through blurry eyes, she could tell that he was half-loaded.
“What time is it?” she mumbled.
“A little after eleven.”
“What happened to being home by nine?” she asked.
“I got held up,” he said sheepishly. “Listen, babe. I know I should have called earlier. That wasn’t cool. I really am sorry.
“Okay,” she said. Her mouth was fuzzy and her head hurt.
He ran a finger along her arm.
“I’d like to make it up to you,” he offered suggestively.
“Not tonight, Kyle,” she said, shrugging his hand away as she got up. “I’m not in the mood. Not even a little bit. Maybe next time you can try not to make me feel like sloppy seconds. I’m going to bed.”
She walked up the stairs and, despite the urge to glance back to see his reaction, kept going without another word. Kyle said nothing. She crawled into bed without even turning off the light. Despite the headache and the cottonmouth, she was asleep in less than a minute.
Jessie felt a prickly branch scratch her face as she ran through the dark woods. It was winter and she knew that even barefoot, her footsteps, clomping on the fallen, dried leaves covering the snow were loud; that he would likely hear them. But she had no choice. Her only hope was to keep moving and hope he couldn’t find her.
But she didn’t know the woods well and he did. She was running blindly, completely lost and looking for any familiar landmark. Her little legs were too short. She knew he was catching up. She could hear his heavy footsteps and his even heavier breathing. There was no place to hide.
CHAPTER SIX
Jessie sat bolt upright in bed, waking just in time to hear her own scream. It took a moment to orient herself and realize she was in her own bed in Westport Beach, wearing the clothes she’d drunkenly fallen asleep in last night.
Her whole body was covered in sweat and her breathing was shallow. She thought she could actually hear the blood rushing through her veins. She reached her hand up to her left cheek. The scar from the branch was still there. It had faded and could be mostly hidden with makeup, unlike the longer one along her right collarbone. But she could still feel where it protruded from the rest of her skin. She could almost feel the sharp sting even now.
She glanced over to her left and saw that the bed was empty. She could tell Kyle had slept there because of the indentation on his pillow and the jumble of sheets. But he was nowhere to be found. She listened for the sound of the shower but the house was silent. Glancing at her bedside clock, she saw that it was 7:45 a.m. He would have already left for work by now.
She eased out of the bed, trying to ignore her throbbing head as she shuffled to the bathroom. After a fifteen-minute shower, half of it spent just sitting on the chilly tile, she felt ready to face getting dressed and going downstairs. In the kitchen, she saw a note propped up on the breakfast table. It read “Sorry again about last night. Would love a rain check when you’re willing. I love you.”
Jessie set it aside and made herself some coffee and oatmeal, the only thing she felt capable of keeping down right now. She managed to finish half a bowl, tossed the rest in the trash, and made her way to the front sitting room, where a dozen unopened boxes waited for her.
She settled into the love seat with a pair of scissors, rested her coffee on the end table, and pulled a box toward her. As she absentmindedly went through the boxes, crossing off items as she located them, her minded drifted to her NRD thesis.
Had it not been for their fight, Jessie would have almost certainly told Kyle about not just her impending practicum at the facility, but about the aftermath of her original thesis as well, including her interrogation. That would have been a violation of her NDA.
He obviously knew the broad strokes, as she’d discussed the project with him as she’d researched it. But The Panel had sworn her to secrecy about it afterward, even from her husband.
It had felt weird hiding such a huge part of her life from her partner. But she’d been assured that it was necessary. And other than some general questions about how the whole thing had gone, he didn’t really press her on the subject. A few vague answers left him satisfied, which had been a relief at the time.
But yesterday, with her enthusiasm for what she’d be doing—visiting a mental hospital for killers—at an all-time high, she was prepared to finally loop him in, despite the prohibition and its consequences. If their fight had one positive outcome, it was that it stopped her from telling him and putting both their futures at risk.
But what kind of future is it if I can’t share my secrets with my own husband? And if he seems oblivious to me keeping them?
A slight ripple of melancholy washed over her at the thought. She tried to push it out of her head but couldn’t quite sweep it away.
She was startled by the ring of the doorbell. Glancing at her watch, she realized that she’d been sitting in the same spot, lost in her glumness, hands resting on an unopened packing box, for the last ten minutes.
She stood up and walked to the door, trying to shake the gloom out of her system with each step. When she opened the door, Kimberly from across the street stood before her with a cheery smile on her face. Jessie tried to match it.
“Hello, neighbor,” Kimberly said enthusiastically. “How goes the unpacking?”
“Slowly,” Jessie admitted. “But thanks for asking. How are you?”
“I’m good. I actually have a few ladies from the neighborhood at my place right now for mid-morning coffee and wondered if you wanted to join us.”
“Sure,” Jessie replied, happy for an excuse to get out of the house for a few minutes.
She grabbed her keys, locked up, and walked over with Kimberly. When they arrived, four heads turned in their direction. None of the faces looked familiar. Kimberly introduced everyone and led Jessie over to the coffee station.
“They don’t expect you to remember their names,” she whispered as she poured them cups. “So don’t feel any pressure. They’ve all been where you are now.”
“That’s a load off,” Jessie confessed. “I have so much bouncing around in my head these days, I can barely remember my own name.”
“Totally understandable,” Kimberly said. “But I should warn you, I mentioned the whole FBI profiler thing so you may get a few questions about it.”
“Oh, I don’t work for the FBI. I haven’t even gotten my degree yet.”
“Trust me—that doesn’t matter. They all think you’re a real-life Clarice Starling. My over/under on serial killer references is three.”
Kimberly had underestimated.
“Do you sit in the same room as these guys?” asked a woman named Caroline with hair so long that some strands reached her backside.
“It depends on the rules of the facility,” Jessie answered. “But I’ve never interviewed one without an experienced profiler or investigator