Getting into Guinness: One man’s longest, fastest, highest journey inside the world’s most famous record book. Larry Olmsted

and in print. That means that if you contact their public relations people (they have both in-house staff and an outside agency) and tell them you are trying to write a high-profile feature for the nation’s largest golf magazine but things are moving too slowly, things suddenly begin to move faster. This is not to suggest they are any less lenient about the actual standards of achievement for media, but they were able to expedite both the application process before -and the approval process after -my attempt. I have since confirmed this habit with several other media outlets, but I also know that while they do respond faster, they still sometimes say no, even when it means losing a lot of publicity, which is reassuring in a purist or egalitarian sense. If you are not involved with the media, there is still a way to get quick and easy service when it comes to applying for records. Every would-be record breaker has the option of paying an expediting fee for what Guinness World Records calls Fast Track service. This guarantees you a response to your query in no more than three days versus somewhere around six weeks, a tempting convenience. The catch is that as of this writing, the Fast Track fee was £300 per record request, and while they reply faster, they might well still say no. If that happens, any further requests you want expedited, even in the same category or record setting vein, require additional Fast Track fees. An unprepared or unlucky record seeker could run up thousands of pounds in fees before getting permission to try a single sanctioned attempt. I cannot imagine this route appeals to any but those most desperate to be in the book and to be in it quickly.