Lindsay McKenna

Shadows And Light


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before his obvious rage. “I don’t want to get even with you,” she snapped. She felt tears sting her eyes, and she looked away for a moment to get herself under control. Swallowing rapidly, she forced herself to act. Where was the friend she’d once had? The friend who’d always tried to make her feel better when she had a bad night at the dispensary? Now he was lashing out at her with anger. Well, she’d had more than enough of that in the last year of her life, and it struck a chord deep within her. She wasn’t about to take Craig’s inexplicable fury, Susan decided as she began the cleansing process.

      “How you doing?” Karen asked, hurrying over to where Susan leaned over Craig’s wound.

      Craig released a shaky breath when a blond woman-doctor leaned over him and smiled. “I want a different nurse,” he said between clenched teeth.

      Susan jerked her head up and looked at him, her mouth open. How dare he! Before she could say anything, Karen stepped in, her voice calm and good-humored.

      “Look, Captain, you’ve got the best right here. Just settle down and take it easy.” She watched Susan critically. “Looks like major surgery to me. Who made the decision to treat this injury as a local?”

      Craig wiped the sweat out of his eyes with a shaky hand. “I did, Doc. I want to stay awake. I want to find out how my men are doing. They’re in surgery right now.”

      “I told Dr. Finlay and he said it was all right, Dr. David.” Susan grimaced and drew in a trembling breath as she hurried to complete the cleansing of his wound. Hearing Karen cluck like a mother hen, Susan was relieved that her friend was here to run interference between herself and Craig.

      Patting the marine’s shoulder, Karen said, “Now, Captain, you just lie here and relax. The worst is over. Susan, get a needle and thread ready, please.”

      Craig watched the two women. Dr. David was confident, relaxed and smiling, with a distinct Midwestern accent. He liked her, he decided. Still, his gaze kept straying to Susan, who stood by, supplying the doctor with whatever she asked for. It gave him an opportunity to really study Susan for the first time since their unexpected meeting. Four of the longest years of his life seemed erased as he gazed up into her huge, and eminently readable, blue eyes. She never could hide anything from him when he looked into them, he thought, stifling a smile as he forced himself to concentrate on her rather than on the brutal pain. Not that Susan would lie anyway. But as he searched her features, his gaze came to rest on Susan’s set mouth. He vividly remembered that one innocent kiss they’d shared. He’d been so hungry to kiss her more deeply. Shutting his eyes, the agony shifting and becoming more intense as the doctor worked over him, Craig felt light-headed. Susan’s mouth was full, the lower lip soft, the corners turned upward to reflect her innate gentleness. How gentle Susan had been four years ago as he’d watched Steve bulldoze his way into her life, he remembered angrily.

      Again the basic fact came rushing back: Susan was married. Married to Craig’s own former best friend. The friend who had crushed Craig’s fondest desire forever. Craig grimaced, wondering for the millionth time why Susan had stood him up on that long-ago night—that night intended to decide his future once and for all.

      A groan ripped through Craig. Automatically, he gripped the sides of the gurney, the steel warm to his touch, his sweaty fingers sliding downward. Haziness replaced his sharply focused awareness. The pain was increasing by the second. Somehow, as his spinning thoughts collided with his tormented heart, Craig felt Susan’s hand grip his shoulder to give him solace. Miraculously, some of the agony disappeared, and he honed in on her stabilizing touch.

      No, Susan had never showed up that night, leaving Craig foolishly waiting, clutching the symbol of his chance at a dream in his sweaty palm. Finally, defeated, he’d returned to begin packing to leave. Susan thought of him as a friend. That was all. Craig had gathered his gear, grabbed a military air transport flight for the West Coast and never seen or heard from either of them again. Until now.

      “He’s going,” Karen warned grimly as Craig’s pallor increased. “The fool should’ve been given a general. This is too much for anyone to endure.”

      Susan’s fingers dug into Craig’s shoulder as she felt him suddenly tense. His mouth opened to release a scream. Just as suddenly, he groaned and went limp beneath her hand. Quickly, Susan tipped his head back so that his tongue wouldn’t shut off the air supply to his lungs.

      “It’s better this way,” Karen muttered. She wiped her forehead with the back of her sleeve. “Prep him for surgery. He’s going under whether he likes it or not.”

      “Gladly,” Susan breathed.

      “In the meantime, I’ll take a look at these other two guys,” Karen said, turning to Craig’s teammates.

      Feeling as if someone had taken a bottle brush to her insides, Susan acted quickly, although she ached to stroke his close-cropped black hair. In unconsciousness all the harshness faded from Craig’s features. His lips, now parted, revealed his true vulnerability. A sudden heated memory flashed through her, of his mouth moving in reverent adoration across her own. How could she ever forget Craig’s one intense, questing kiss? He’d been so shy around her, so hesitant and always a gentleman.

      Steve had been the opposite, Susan admitted, completing the last of the dressing around Craig’s thigh. He’d come on strong, sweeping her off her feet, savoring life and savoring her. Steve had showered her with presents. So many gifts! Almost weekly, he would buy her something—jewelry, perfume, candy, flowers. His parents were rich and affluent. Guilt, shame and sadness flowed through Susan as she made the comparison. Craig’s parents were Idaho wheat farmers. He’d had little money and often sent what he did have home to help his mother, who’d been forced to run the farm by herself since his father’s back injury. No, Craig hadn’t been able to afford material gifts, but he’d given Susan something money could never buy: a deep friendship—one she’d thought would last forever.

      Her heart, nearly breaking at the way her life had twisted and turned, Susan looked up to see a navy corpsman, a black youth in his early twenties, standing by to take Craig to surgery.

      “He ready to go, ma’am?”

      “Yes,” Susan whispered.

      “I’m Randy Peters, ma’am,” he said, giving her hand a brief, firm shake.

      “Susan Evans,” she responded automatically, attempting a smile.

      Peters grinned. “He ain’t so lucky, ya know.”

      “What do you mean?” Susan straightened and wiped her brow. The ER had a hushed quality now as everyone worked frantically over the remaining patients.

      “This dude’s injured bad enough to get a whole month’s rest in this place.”

      Susan stood digesting the corpsman’s wisdom as he pulled the gurney bearing Craig Taggart down the aisle toward the operating room. Craig would remain here, at her hospital, to recover. The realization sank into her, making her feel shaky and uncertain. Dear God, what was happening? Camp Reed was supposed to be a safe haven where she could forget the tortured past and try to collect the broken pieces of her heart. Instead, she was being ripped further apart, in ways she’d never fathomed. Craig had dropped back into her life when she was feeling the most fragile, and his anger was shocking because it was aimed directly at her.

      Turning away, Susan forced herself to go help Karen, who was still ministering to Craig’s two least-injured men. In no time, they had been treated and released. As she joined Karen at the sink to wash her hands, Susan saw the questioning look in her friend’s eyes.

      “You’re pale. Are you okay?” Karen asked.

      “Yes…fine.”

      “This isn’t like San Francisco, is it?”

      Susan shook her head. “No…it isn’t. And you love it. I can tell.”

      Karen lifted her head and surveyed the ER area. “God help me, Susan, but I do love this. It’s where my heart is. This is where I can be at my best.