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The Gospel of the
FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER
BOBBY HENDERSON
In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was “Arrrgh!”
—PIRATICUS 13:7
Contents
The Need for Alternative Theories
What’s the Matter with Evolution?
FSM vs. ID, an Unlikely Alliance
A Condensed History of the World
Bobby Answers the Big Questions
The Pastafarian Guide to Propaganda
A Final Note from Bobby Henderson and His Staff
WHILE PASTAFARIANISM IS the only religion based on empirical evidence, it should also be noted that this is a faith-based book. Attentive readers will note numerous holes and contradictions throughout the text; they will even find blatant lies and exaggerations. These have been placed there to test the reader’s faith.
Disclaimer About Midgets1
OUR RELIGION DOES NOT WISH to discriminate or cause hurt feelings among any group—and this is especially true of the very short, who, if provoked, could easily appear out of nowhere and attack. As a solution, we offer the following:
To prevent angering the little people community, we suggest that this book be placed on the very highest shelf possible.
1. Sometimes referred to as “midgits” or “little people.”
DEAR FRIEND,
Welcome to the wonderful world of religion!
These are exciting times in holiness—politicians are crusading, nations are invading, and science1 is fading. With these changes come religious opportunities the likes of which haven’t been seen since the Reformation … or at least since the persecuted masses first huddled together and shipped off from Old Blighty to that great democratic revival meeting we call the United States of America.