Robyn Carr

The Life She Wants


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room while you two visit.” She grinned impishly. “I’ll try to stretch it out.” And with that, she slid out of the booth and left them alone but for the half dozen customers at the counter.

      Emma smiled. “She’s so beautiful, Adam. And so sweet.”

      “She is,” he agreed.

      “And how about you? Did you marry?”

      She thought his expression was sweet and maybe a little sad. “I came close a couple of times, but it wasn’t in the cards. Uncle duty keeps me busy enough.”

      “Isn’t Jock around?”

      “Sure, he’s around now and then. He was briefly married when Maddie was very young and...well, no one knows better than you how hard it can be if the chemistry isn’t right with the stepmother...”

      Only too well, she thought. And suddenly she fought tears. Not because she was faced with the child of her best friend and boyfriend. Ex-friend and ex-boyfriend. Conceived while she was away at college. “Wow,” she said, her eyes having gone a little liquid. He would probably think she wept from some long-ago broken heart, but that had nothing to do with it.

      Adam surprised her by reaching out, putting a big hand on her shoulder. “You shouldn’t have stayed so out of touch, Emmie Cat. Fifteen years is too long for old friends.”

      “Uncle Adam,” she said uncomfortably, looking down and giving her eyes a wipe.

      “Well, it turns out it really does take a village,” he said with a laugh. “Riley, me, my mom, Jock—it was a community effort. Worked out pretty well,” he added. “Maddie is an awesome kid.”

      “I bet you’re an awesome uncle.”

      “I do my best. I teach high school so I’m kind of an expert on her species. And Jock works at an electronics store so we have all the phones and toys and laptops we need.”

      “The same store he worked at way back when?” she asked.

      “Same one, but he’s a manager now.”

      “And you’re still teaching?” Emma asked. “I guess you chose the right profession if you’re still at it.”

      “I think that’s a yes. Listen, I’m sorry about everything you went through. Condolences, Emmie.”

      “Thank you.”

      “There were a hundred times I thought about getting in touch, not knowing how you were holding up. When I did finally get to it, your number had changed so I just checked with Lyle now and then. Everyone knows you had nothing to do with anything...illegal.”

      “Thank you, again.”

      “We were just talking about you a few weeks ago, wondering if you had made it back home. We were remembering the old days.”

      “We?” she asked before she could stop herself.

      “Me. Mom. Riley. This is a coincidence, running into you here, like this.”

      A tall, skinny kid came over to the table. “Taking a break, Ms. Shay?” he asked.

      “Just answering a couple of questions for a customer, Justin.”

      “Can I help?” Justin asked, turning to Adam.

      “I don’t believe so,” Adam said authoritatively. “I’ll just take a moment of Emma’s time. If you’ll excuse us.”

      Justin looked taken aback, but then he turned and left them.

      “He’s a despot,” she quietly informed Adam. “But jobs are in short supply, it seems.”

      “Could you use a letter of recommendation?” he asked.

      She stood. “I could use a do-over,” she said. “But thanks for asking. Do you teach around here?”

      He shook his head. “Napa. High school science. I’m playing a little hooky with Maddie today. We were at the DMV so she could take her test for her learner’s permit. Riley wanted to do it but the truth is, Riley and Maddie don’t do well in the car together so Maddie prefers driving with me or with Jock, and he’s working this afternoon. Of course Maddie couldn’t wait. When do you get off work?”

      “Not until nine, why?”

      “We should have a cup of coffee or glass of wine, talk about how you’d like me to word that letter of recommendation.”

      Maddie was back, sliding into their booth.

      “Oh...ah... Listen, you don’t know what you’re suggesting...”

      “I don’t? Why not? We’re still friends, right?”

      “It’s not that... Well, it’s partly that since, you know...” She took a breath. She wasn’t going to say in front of this sweet fifteen-year-old, That’s my boyfriend’s baby and probably the major reason I went off the rails in the first place. She leaned closer to Adam. “Take a whiff of this place. This is what I smell like after work.”

      He threw back his head with a hearty laugh. “See you later,” he said.

      She meandered back behind the counter, kind of dazed. Half of her wanted to run and hide—being around Adam would only serve to remind her of the past and all she’d lost. But the other half was elated. Could she and Adam be friends? They’d talked a few times after Maddie was born, but their conversations had been so superficial, both of them afraid to let the standoff she had with Riley taint the relationship she had with Adam, who she had always so admired. Truth was, she’d always wondered if Adam had kept in touch out of guilt over what his sister had done.

      She’d done all right in the friends department during college and her first years as a single woman in New York, but she’d always kept people at a safe distance, afraid to trust again.

      That was perhaps the deepest wound of all.

      * * *

      Emma’s earliest memory of Adam was him standing by the fence outside the school playground to make sure Riley got home all right. Even before she realized she liked Riley, she wished she had a big brother like Adam. When she left Burger or Bust that night, he was across the parking lot, leaning against the hood of his SUV, arms crossed over his chest. Waiting. He looked like an older version of that twelve-year-old boy. Except he looked a lot happier now, like maybe the chip on his shoulder was gone.

      Yeah, that’s what it had been—that serious, stubborn, perhaps fearful boy in his scuffed shoes and torn jacket, left to take care of the family after his father had died. Emma had worried about this faux date all afternoon until she saw him and then realized she was always thinking about herself, her troubles. She was always afraid of being found out, exposed, blamed. But Adam had been only a kid when he lost a parent, but a kid old enough to understand and remember his loss. And he’d been so brave, always looking out for his mother and sister. He was right there at St. Pascal’s until high school, but even when he was older and went to a different school, he was so often on hand to watch over Riley. And Emma, as well.

      “I can’t believe you’re really here,” she said. “You have a date with someone who smells like burgers and fries.”

      “I think we’ll get through it. How do you feel about a glass of wine or a drink?”

      “I’d love a glass of wine.”

      “Great. Where do you hang your hat these days?”

      “A little spot in Sebastopol. Not too far from Lyle’s.”

      “Perfect. I know just the place, right on the way to your place. Follow me?”

      “I’m parked right over there. The Prius.”

      “Let’s do it,” he said.

      She followed him along some of the back roads toward her little town, but he turned down an alley and she got a little confused.