Greg Behrendt and
Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
It’s Just a Date!
How to… get ’em, read ’em and rock ’em
Contents
Prepare Yourself For Dating Excellence
1 The Principal Principles of Dating for Winners
2 Principle #1: Like Yourself and Know You’re Worthy
3 Principle #2: Get a Life, Have a Life …
4 Principle #3: Pretty is as Pretty Does
5 Principle #4: Don’t Accept Less than an Actual Date
6 Principle #5: Don’t Freak People Out with Your Need
7 Principle #6: Doormats Finish Last and End Up in the Dirt
8 Principle #7: Don’t Show the Movie Before the Trailer
9 Principle #8: Not Every Date is Going to Turn Into a Relationship
10 The Essence of Keeping it Cool
11 Essence #1: There is No One Place to Meet Guys
12 Essence #2: The Power of Suggestion
13 Bonus Section: Internet Date-tacular!
14 Essence #3: It’s Just a F*#king First Date!
15 Essence #4: First Date Follow Up
16 Essence #5: 2nd Date and Beyond
A Call To The Winner
Dater Within
So your dating life is in the crapper and you’ve just about given up on the idea altogether at this point. And seriously, what’s with guys, right? Why don’t they ask women out? Why does it have to be so damn hard to date? Or what ever happened to dating, for that matter? Used to be that a guy would ask a girl out. Then he’d pick her up at her house, take her out for dinner, a movie, or a cup of coffee and some conversation. Then both parties would decide if they wanted to do it again next week. There was protocol. A courtship. A standard set of guidelines to follow for this age-old ritual outlined by our “Foredaters”. Now who even knows what dating is?
WHAT IS A DATE?
If you hook up at a bar and go home together are you dating? If he text-messages you, “what are you wearing?” are you dating? If he tells you where he’s going with his friends after work and tells you to bring your friends, are you dating? It’s not cut and dried anymore—in fact it’s become completely absurd. Sadly, dating has become somewhat obsolete, having been edged out of the line up by hooking up, hanging out and casual sex. Why is that? Because both men and women have said by their actions and willingness that they don’t need the formality of a date to give their time, the privilege of their company and sometimes even their body. We’ve become a world of non-daters and, judging from the masses of unsatisfied singles that we hear from and about, we’d surmise that the whole non-dating thing’s not going that great. It’s too confusing, too casual, too grey and not enough black and white. Courtship has gone so far astray that it’s come down to proximity and laziness. Like if you stand next to someone long enough at a party then eventually you’ll pair up and be in a relationship with them without any actual effort, action or decision having been put into it.
BACK TO BASICS
It’s time for a change and, aside from non-dating, the only other option to dating would be arranged marriages or marriage by lottery system. So it seems like now’s the time to figure out how to date again, because you may not like ending up with #4 8 15 16 23 42. You obviously like yourself enough to pick up this book and consider the idea of improving your dating or non-dating life, and for that we love you. Hooray, we just hugged! Now, having said that, we will not coddle you. This is not a touchy-feely “you’re great so everyone should think you’re great” book. This is a “how bad do you want it and to what lengths will you go to achieve what you truly deserve and then be willing to throw it all away because after all It’s Just a F*#king Date?!” kind of book. We have made our living being straight with you about our experiences and we’ve done it wrong ourselves enough times. But ONLY after you’ve done it wrong so many times will you have that moment of awakening, of clarity, where you admit, “I do it wrong. I need to do it differently.”
By reading this book you are entering a no-bullshit area. Unlike some of your friends we will not sign off on your questionable behavior and will continually demand better of you. We will not be buying the rationalizing that you do to make it okay nor the excuses you make for yourself or someone else that’s giving you less than you deserve. Now is the time to redefine what kind of dater you are and how you date. So buckle up ladies because you’ve come to the right place. You know what we’ve got? We’ve got answers and we’ve got plans for you.
REALITY CHECK!
The reality of dating is that almost every date you go on is not going to work out or turn into a lasting and meaningful relationship. In fact every date and relationship won’t work out until