took my coat and hung it on the rack, and asked me if I’d like a drink. I followed her down the hall and into the kitchen. This was all normal stuff I did with any number of my clients, but Tash gave the clear impression from her nervy air and measured, step-by-step manner that she was biding her time, gearing herself up for the session.
‘You’ll come with me upstairs?’ she stated, not looking me in the eye.
‘Sure, Tash,’ I agreed, hoping that my light mood might put her at her ease at least a little. ‘Just show me the way.’
Tash handed me my tumbler, and I followed her up the stairs to the first floor.
‘It’s a nice house you’ve got here,’ I commented.
‘I’ve been here about eighteen months.’
It wasn’t just small talk on my behalf—it was a nice place. The house looked neat and simply decorated, the walls in pale colours that matched her top. It felt just the right size for a young girl to make a home of.
‘I still feel like I’m settling in,’ she smiled.
‘It can take a while, can’t it?’
I noticed she found it easy to talk when it wasn’t about what I was doing here in her home.
Tash led the way across the landing to her front bedroom. She opened the door, and for a second before she turned on the light, I could see the bed highlighted in the golden glow from the streetlamp outside. She hurried over to the bow windows to draw the curtains and shut out the world, all the while keeping her back to me.
I went and sat down on the side of her bed closest to her and waited. I ran my hands over the duvet each side of me and flattened it down. I kept my mouth shut and watched her. I knew she couldn’t stand at the windows forever, her hands gripping the edge of the closed curtains.
Tash turned and I gave her my warmest smile on cue. I patted the bed beside me as though we’d known each other for years. ‘Come and sit down,’ I beckoned.
Tash could handle that. She walked over to me, and sat down square beside me as if we were waiting for a bus. Her hands held each other on her lap and she stared straight ahead. I could see that I was going to have to take this one real slow.
I leaned back slightly on my arms so I looked as relaxed and unthreatening as possible.
‘You haven’t been here long?’ I turned to her and started the small talk rolling, even though she still wasn’t meeting my eyes.
‘No, I moved here for work. I’m in office admin. In the town.’ Tash’s shoulders dropped a little, though her voice remained stilted.
‘That’s quite a change, settling into a new job and a new house. Just one of them’s stressful enough.’
‘I know!’ she nodded with her smile and, forgetting herself, turned her head and looked right at me. ‘It’s taken me this long to feel at home.’
That’s better.
Tash’s hands had slipped on to the bedspread beside her. I weighed up whether to reach for one of them, or to leave things be for a short while longer. I didn’t want to frighten her back inside her shell.
‘Have you got to know your neighbours, Tash?’
‘Not really,’ she shook her head. ‘They’re mostly young families, and a few elderly couples. There doesn’t seem to be anyone my age around here…’
She bit her lip. I stretched out my right hand and placed it over hers. I could feel it shaking slightly.
I’m not going anywhere, Tash.
‘I’ve never had sex!’ she blurted out.
Tash was back to looking wide-eyed, staring straight ahead at the curtains. Though she was biting her lip, it still trembled ever so slightly.
‘That’s OK, Tash,’ I said in my most reassuring voice. ‘A lot of girls your age haven’t.’
Not as many as have—but hey.
But then, a split second later, I feared I might have put her off and scrambled to reassure her. ‘But you want to, don’t you?’ I spoke softly.
She turned sharply towards me and spoke clearly and firmly, which I wasn’t expecting at all. ‘I’ve had boyfriends in the past. It’s just that we never went the whole way.’
She was speaking as much to herself as explaining things to me. ‘And I’m twenty-one, and y’know…’ The words trailed off.
I took my hand off hers and reached up to touch Tash’s straight blonde hair. I hooked a strand behind her ear and looked straight into her eyes. ‘And you feel it’s about time you did?’
She said nothing but nodded back.
‘Well, that’s why I’m here, Tash. That’s why you called me, isn’t it?’
‘But not just the sex. You’ll be careful, won’t you?’ she whispered.
She didn’t move on the bed but I could still feel her pull herself away from me.
‘I will. Don’t worry,’ I said, and rubbed her bare shoulder.
That went without saying. I could more or less divide my clients into two camps. Those who booked me for my time and as much hard sex as we could fit in. And those, like Tash, who needed it served up in a gentler manner. The journey getting there and the aftermath were just as important, just as much what they were paying for.
Tash looked down at the small space of pale pink duvet cover between us. She swallowed her fear and bridged the gap between us, taking my other hand in hers.
‘Since I’ve lived here I haven’t had…I miss…’ she stuttered. ‘It’s not just not having had sex…’
She looked up at me with piercing blue eyes full of yearning.
‘You miss just being with a man, don’t you?’
Me saying it made her a little more bold. Her hand reached up my wrist and her fingers and thumb played over it, enjoying the sensation.
‘They must be walking around with their eyes shut in Luton, Tash. You’re a very pretty girl.’
She didn’t say anything in return, but a bashful little smile flashed across her face as if she really needed to hear those words.
I placed my other hand to her neck, drawing her close to me, and kissed her gently on the lips. I pulled back slightly and whispered: ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes,’ she replied in the same tone and moved closer to me.
Our lips met, and hers opened slightly, and I took my cue, teasing her mouth with the tip of my tongue to open wider. She offered me no resistance.
Tash wrapped her arms around me and held on tight. I gave as good as I got, warming her up with my hug. This was where the skill came. Taking a girl like Tash from the chat to the embraces and physical intimacy. And from there to the sex itself. You could fall at the first hurdle. Or the second one, come to that.
Not that they ever have in my company.
But that was the threat hanging over me. That girls like Tash might just go on talking and talking out of sheer fright until their time was up. Which meant that it wasn’t just my job to get her to go the whole way. My expertise lay in making her feel she was in safe enough hands to let her guard down early on and relax into every step of the journey.
We were still both clothed.
‘Tash, if you could undress and slip under the covers, I’ll do the same and join you, OK?’
We unlinked from each other, and she shifted, turning away on the bed, and with her back facing me, began