‘Funny ha ha,’ sighed Jess.
‘How about we go to the movies on Saturday?’ suggested Steph after a moment. She was desperate to cheer Jess up.
‘I mightn’t be able to get away.’ Jess sighed again. ‘I’m babysitting for the Richardsons on Saturday night and Mum says I’ve got to get my study done in the afternoon.’
‘Tell her you’ll study when you’re babysitting.’
By the time she’d put away all the sports equipment, Jess felt utterly weary. She’d have a bath at home rather than a shower in the creepily deserted girls’ changing room, she decided, pulling her coat on over her gym gear. At the bus stop, she rang home to say she’d be late but nobody answered and the machine wasn’t on. She was about to try her mother’s mobile when the bus trundled along, packed to the gills with rush-hour commuters. There was no way she was going to have one of those childish conversations along the lines of ‘I’ll be late, Mum, don’t worry’ with a packed bus listening, so she found the last seat upstairs, switched on her Discman and turned the sound up.
The train was packed too. Every seat was taken and bad-tempered passengers with briefcases, pushchairs and bags of shopping were crammed into every available gap.
With nowhere to sit, Jess squeezed into a space against the wall at the end of the carriage, her bag at her feet, and tried to drown out the boredom of the journey with music. When she looked up, she saw the guy from the year above pushing a path through the crowd to get a space and, incredibly, Jess thought for one minute that he smiled briefly at her. Tired, crampy and fed up, she wasn’t going to risk smiling back and looking stupid, in case she’d imagined it. But then he made his way across the compartment and leaned against the last bit of free wall in Jess’s section. This time she knew she hadn’t imagined the rueful smile, so she sent him a fleeting one back, before dropping her gaze again. Wow! It was the first bit of light in an otherwise horrible day.
But it was to be the only bit of light. When the train lumbered into Dunmore station, chugging even more slowly than usual with its enormous load of disgruntled commuters, Jess could see her mother standing anxiously on the platform, all wrapped up in that ridiculous chocolate fake-fur coat she loved. Her eyes were frantically searching every carriage as the train pulled in.
‘Jess!’ she shrieked, rushing forward to grab her daughter when Jess stepped wearily down onto the platform. ‘I’ve been so worried. I tried to phone and there was no answer on your mobile…’
Jess glared at her to shut up, but Abby was far too relieved even to be aware that she was making a scene.
‘Chill, Mum,’ snapped Jess. ‘I did phone to say I’d be late but you weren’t there and the machine wasn’t on.’
Trying to disentangle herself from her mother, Jess could see the guy from her school loping off down the platform towards the footbridge. He’d never smile at her again, that was for sure. Not now that her mother had made it plain that she was a kid who wasn’t safe to let stay five minutes behind after school. Cool guys in fifth year didn’t hang around with kids.
‘Why didn’t you answer your phone?’ demanded Abby.
‘Didn’t hear it,’ muttered Jess.
‘You shouldn’t have your Discman so loud that you don’t hear the phone,’ her mother said loudly. ‘Have you any idea how worried I was?’
‘For God’s sake,’ Jess said furiously, ‘everybody’s watching. You’re not on bloody TV now.’
They drove home in frosty silence, even the lively banter from the drive-time DJ failing to crack the ice.
Abby, who’d felt guilty about her little detour into the past with Jay, and had been wondering if she should tell Tom, and who’d raced to the station after getting home and finding Jess hadn’t returned from school, was furious with her daughter for not phoning to say she’d be late.
What had happened to Jess, she thought grimly. Her lovely, smiling daughter had been replaced by this sullen, angry teenager who bit her mother’s head off every time she spoke. What had Abby done wrong? Or, she thought suddenly, was there something bothering Jess, something serious?
She tried again when they got home.
‘So how was school?’ she asked brightly.
Jess thought of the awfulness of the day and stupid Mr Hutton picking on her unfairly. Worse was what the boys had said to her. It wasn’t her fault she was tall, lanky and flat-chested. She wanted to ask her mother how she’d been when she was a teenager, but then her mother was small and pretty and confident. How could she know how Jess felt? Mum was always going on about how she wished her boobs were smaller because she hated looking ‘busty’. How unfair was that?
‘We’ve got tons of homework,’ Jess said, which was true. ‘How are we supposed to revise anything when we’ve all this work to do?’ she demanded, wrenching the fridge door open. She deliberated and then took out some cheese and made herself a sandwich.
Abby felt a surge of relief. That was the reason behind Jess’s bad temper: nothing more sinister than too much homework.
‘They wouldn’t give you homework unless they thought you needed it,’ said Abby, ever the deputy headmaster’s wife. ‘And you won’t want to eat your dinner if you eat that sandwich.’
‘I’m not going to have time for dinner,’ snapped Jess. ‘I’ll be doing my homework.’ With that, she stormed upstairs.
‘Sorry, Jess,’ Abby yelled in contrition after her. ‘I didn’t mean it like that, but the teachers know you have to get the courses finished before the exams, and I know it’s hard right now but it will be worth it in the end…’
The only reply she got was the slamming of Jess’s bedroom door.
Abby began to make Jess’s favourite dish, a vegetarian lasagne that took ages to prepare. If Abby couldn’t get through to Jess to tell her how much she loved her, she’d show her.
The lasagne was cooling, untouched despite many calls upstairs, and Abby had given up and gone into the living room to eat a forbidden packet of crisps and watch the soaps when Tom arrived home.
‘How was your day?’ he asked, throwing his bulging briefcase onto one of the armchairs.
‘Don’t ask,’ she said, and was about to elaborate on what a precious little madam her client had been and how Jess was upset over her homework and how terrible Abby felt when she couldn’t communicate with her, and guess who she’d bumped into today, but Tom didn’t give her a chance to continue. He was just aching to talk about his day.
‘I know the feeling,’ he muttered, loosening his tie and throwing that onto the armchair to join the briefcase. ‘Some joker in second year set the fire alarm off this afternoon and we couldn’t turn it off. Seems the expensive new system we got in last year has a fault and we had to get a guy out from the company who installed it to deal with it. And then,’ Tom sank onto the other armchair, ‘Gina, you know, the new physics and maths teacher, tells me she can’t cope and she wants to hand in her notice. She didn’t think teaching boys was going to be as hard as it’s turned out. Stupid cow. And I swear that Bruno always takes the day off just when there’s trouble brewing. He must be bloody psychic. He gets the headmaster’s salary and no trouble, and I get the deputy head package and every bloody disaster possible.’ He shifted in the seat to get comfortable and began to look around for the television remote. ‘What’s for dinner?’
Abby counted to ten. ‘Vegetable lasagne,’ she said evenly. She went into the kitchen, cut Tom a portion and stuck it in the microwave with a loud clatter. Adding some limp lettuce from the fridge and a few baby tomatoes she couldn’t be bothered to wash, she dumped the whole lot on a tray and plonked it on the table in front of her husband.
‘Thanks,’ he grunted.
Abby got herself a second glass