subject unawares. Well, shirtless and unawares. Todd was sleek and pale, his body not heavy at all, not all muscle and veins popping out, just a nice, ordinary body; the body of the boy next door if the boy next door happened to be perfect. She had never seen a body she thought so beautiful. Then there was his face. Oh that face! She’d seen literally thousands of photographs of Todd in the last eleven years – and to her adoring eyes he was handsome in every single one of them – but in these particular pictures he was something more than handsome. There was a certain lost look in his eyes, that allowed her to indulge the belief that if she’d been there at that moment – if he’d seen her and looked at her with the same forsaken feeling in his heart as was in his eyes – everything in her life would have been different; and maybe, just maybe, everything in his.
When she was thinking clearly, she knew all this was romantic nonsense. She was a plain woman; and, even though she’d shed thirty-two pounds in the last two years, was still thirty overweight. How could she hope to compare with the glossy beauties Todd had romanced, both on screen and off? Still she allowed herself the indulgence, once in a while. It made life in Sacramento a little more bearable to know that her secret glimpses of Todd were always there, hidden away, waiting for her. And best of all, nobody else had them. They were hers and hers alone.
There was one other wonderful thing about the fourteen pictures: they had been snapped in such quick succession that if she leafed through them fast enough she could almost create the illusion of movement. She did that now, while she thought about the way Maxine had talked to her on the phone. That nonsense about Todd going away to write his life-story, or whatever she’d said it was going to be; it didn’t ring true. It simply wasn’t like Todd to be so inaccessible. Every vacation he’d taken – in India, in New Guinea, in the Amazon, for God’s sake – he’d been spotted. Somebody had had a camera, and he’d posed; smiled, waved, goofed around. It just wasn’t like him to disappear like this.
But what could she do about it? She wasn’t going to get any answers out of anybody close to Todd: they’d all trot out the same story. She’d already exhausted her contacts at the studios, all of whom claimed not to have seen Todd in a while. Even over at Paramount, where he was supposedly making his next picture, nobody had seen him in many months. Nor, according to her most reliable source over there, the secretary to Sherry Lansing’s assistant, were there any meetings on the books, either with Todd or any of his production team. It was all very strange, and it made Tammy afraid for her man. Suppose they were covering something up? Suppose there’d been an accident, or an assault, and Todd had been hurt? Suppose he was in a hospital bed somewhere on life-support, his life slipping away, while all the sons of bitches who’d made fortunes off his talent were lying to themselves and anyone who’d listen, pretending it was going to be okay? Things like that happened all the time; especially in Hollywood. Everyone lied there; it was a way of life.
Her thoughts circled on these terrible images for an hour or more, while she sat amongst her treasures. At last, she came to a momentous decision. She could do nothing to solve this mystery sitting here in Sacramento. She needed to go out to Los Angeles, and confront some of these people. It was easy to tell somebody a lie on the telephone. It was harder to do when you were face to face with someone; when you were looking into their eyes.
She took one last look through the sequence of photographs, lingering on the last of the fourteen, the one in which Todd’s gaze was closest to making contact with the camera. Another shot, and he would have been looking directly at her. Their eyes, as it were, would have met. She smiled at him, kissed his picture, then put the photographs away, tucked the box out of sight and went through to the kitchen to call Arnie at the airport, and tell him what she planned to do. He was in the middle of his shift, and couldn’t come to the phone. She left a message for him to call her; then she made a reservation on Southwest for the flight to Los Angeles, and booked a room in a little hotel on Wilshire Boulevard, which she’d stayed in once before when she’d come into LA for a Todd Pickett convention.
The flight was scheduled at 3:10 that afternoon, and was to get into Los Angeles at 4:15, but the departure was delayed for almost two hours, and then they circled over LAX for almost three quarters of an hour before they could land, so it wasn’t until half-past seven that she stepped out of the airport into the warm, sweet-smog air of her beloved’s city.
She didn’t know what she was going to do, now she was here; how or where she was going to begin. But at least she wasn’t sitting at home brooding. She was closer to him, here, whatever Maxine Frizelle had said about him being off in some faraway place. That was a lie; Tammy knew it in her bones. He was here. And if he was in any trouble, then by God she would do her best to help him, because whatever anybody might say she knew one thing for certain: there wasn’t a soul on earth who cared for the well-being of Todd Pickett more than she. And somewhere, tucked away in a shameful corner of her head she almost hoped that there was some conspiracy here; because that would give her a chance to come to his rescue; to save him from people like Frizelle, and make him understand who really cared about him. Oh, wouldn’t that be something! She didn’t dare think about it too much; it made her sick with guilt and anticipation. She shouldn’t be wishing anything but the best for her Todd. And yet the same thought kept creeping back: that somewhere in this city he was waiting for her – even if he didn’t know it yet; waiting to be saved and comforted. Yes, she dared think it: perhaps even loved.
Chapter 8
Todd and Marco had settled into life at the Hideaway in the Canyon quite easily. Todd occupied the enormous master bedroom which had (as Maxine had boasted) an extraordinary view down the canyon. On clear days, of which there were many in that early March, Todd could sit at his window and watch the ocean, glittering beyond the towers of Century City. On exceptional days, he could even make out the misty shape of Catalina Island.
Marco had taken a much smaller bedroom on the top floor, with an adjacent sitting room, and did much as he had in the Bel Air home: that is, served with uncanny prescience the needs of his boss, and having provided such services as were required, then retreated into near-invisibility.
The area was much quieter than Bel Air. There seemed to be no through traffic on the single road that wound up through the Canyon, so apart from the occasional sound of a police helicopter passing over, or a siren drifting up from Sunset, Todd heard nothing from the city that lay such a short distance below. What he did hear, at night, were coyotes, who seemed to haunt the slopes of the canyon in significant numbers. On some nights, standing on one of the many balconies of his new mansion nursing a drink and a cigarette, he would hear a lone animal begin its urgent yapping on the opposite slope of the canyon, only to hear its call answered from another spot, then another, the din rising into a whooping chorus from the darkness all around him, so that it seemed the entire canyon was alive with them. They’d had coyotes up in Bel Air too, of course. Their proximity to the house would always send Dempsey into a frenzy of deep-chest barking, as though to announce that the dog of the house was much larger than he was, in reality.
‘I’m surprised we’ve got so many coyotes up here,’ Marco said, after one particularly noisy night. ‘You’d think they’d go somewhere with a lot more garbage. I mean, they’re scavengers, right?’
‘Maybe they like it here,’ Todd observed.
‘Yeah, I guess.’
‘There’s no people to fuck with them.’
‘Except us.’
‘We won’t be here long,’ Todd said.
‘You don’t sound too happy about that.’
‘Well I guess I could get used to it here.’
‘Have you been up on the ridge yet?’
‘No. I haven’t had the energy.’
‘You should go up there. Take a look. There’s quite a view.’
The exchange, brief as it was, put the thought of a trip up the hill into Todd’s head. He needed to start exercising again, as Maxine had pointed out, or he was going to find that his face was all nicely healed