make a better life. She had sworn to see that her family never went hungry. And she had vowed to pass on the memories and traditions of the homeland she loved, despite its years of war and unrest.
She had done all those things, through the blood and sweat of her body and her fierce will.
But she was strong no longer. The blow of losing her youngest son had bent her double like a birch tree in a spring storm, snapping her in two. Her family might believe she was strong. Her friends might marvel and offer compliments.
But inside, Tatiana’s tears gathered into silver rivers. And she was broken, bent by the weight of sadness just like the ruined trees she remembered from her girlhood.
CHAPTER SIX
Two weeks later
HE HAD CALLED HER TWICE. He had texted her once.
Grace hadn’t returned any messages. She told herself it was better this way. More practical for both of them.
After all, what could come of a few dates? Hesitant pauses. Awkward conversations. Groping in the dark and then an embarrassed refusal?
No. She had to have peace and order in her life, and her heart told her that Noah would upset her careful efforts at recovery. She had learned one thing over the past year: you had to be strong before you learned to be vulnerable.
Two weeks had passed since she had found the kittens—and met Noah. They had feinted through their snowball fight to the hilarity of Noah’s family. At first Noah had held back, but Grace wasn’t afraid to fight dirty, shoving snow down his collar, pulling his feet out from under him, rubbing snow in his face. With the noisy laughter of his family rolling in her ears, she had been declared the winner at the start of round three, by unanimous vote. Noah had taken his defeat well, but hours later, standing on the driveway after he had returned Grace to her townhouse, he had taken his consolation prize.
The long, slow kiss began as snow fell gently, brushing their faces. He had murmured her name while his hand rose, cupping her cheeks. Then he turned her face up to his and tasted her mouth slowly. The hunger had slammed over her instantly. Grace had thought she remembered how it felt to be kissed and know the swift heat of desire, but her experiences with James hadn’t really prepared her for Noah.
The rich, earthy feelings that followed his kiss had left Grace giddy and confused. They caught her when she least expected it, fogging all her senses and her normal caution.
And she needed to stay cautious and in control. She had been out of balance too long with James. She was getting her life back now. Once things had quieted down, she would call Noah.
Her computer, books and notebooks were stacked neatly on the table. She had an important meeting tomorrow, but she was well prepared. Yet the thought bothered her: Was that all she had in her life—work and meetings?
Suddenly restless, she grabbed her coat and gloves to take a walk. Maybe the brisk air would clear her tangled thoughts.
She closed and locked her door, then pulled on an old knitted scarf. It was a simple lace stitch, nothing complicated, but it would always be special because it was the first lace she had ever knitted. You remembered the first times most, she thought wryly.
A car raced past and slush sprayed around her boots, but Grace trudged on, glad to be outside. At least her preparations were done. All she had to do was sell her idea. That wouldn’t be easy because the competition for this particular project would be keen.
Lights flickered in the twilight. A car angled to the curb and stopped. A Jeep, Grace realized as the driver’s-side door opened.
“What does it take to get a call returned, an executive order?” Noah jumped out and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You must be busy these days.”
Grace took a deep breath. He looked good—even better than she remembered. Snow dusted his broad shoulders as he studied her without moving. “You forgot these the other night.”
He dug out a plastic bag with Grace’s favorite red fingerless gloves. “Mom wanted me to tell you. Since you didn’t return my calls, I decided to swing by.” His eyes were wary. “And since you haven’t asked, I’ll tell you that the mom and all the kittens are doing fine. Puppy, too.”
“Noah, I—” Grace flushed. “I’m sorry. I should have called. That was very rude of me. And you know that I can’t thank you enough for keeping the cats.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. You made it clear when you said you didn’t want to get involved. As for the cats, we love them. The puppy is great.” He shrugged. “So I’ll be getting back. It’s been a busy week.”
“Noah, wait. Please.” Grace put a hand on his arm and felt the muscles flex sharply. “Look at me.”
After a moment his dark eyes settled on her face, focused but completely unreadable. “I’m looking. But what is there to say?”
She felt his muscles tense again and noticed there was a cut above his eyebrow that hadn’t been there before. “What happened to your face?” Without thinking, she touched the healing skin gently.
“Cut it shaving,” he said tightly. “So what did you want to tell me, Grace?”
She felt low and cravenly, embarrassed at her behavior. “Look, I’m just trying to do the right thing. I didn’t plan to meet someone. I didn’t want to get involved when I’m still tangled up inside.” Grace looked down at her fingers, opened on his arm. “And then I met you. I saw how gentle and careful you were with the kittens and how far you went to make me feel comfortable with your family. And suddenly—” She stopped, feeling heat fill her face. But she owed him an explanation—and an apology. “Suddenly you were there, and I was being pulled in, caught up in emotions I couldn’t understand or trust. I couldn’t stay aloof or in control around you. So I chose not to call or have any contact. That was my decision, and it was very badly done. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” Noah said tightly. “You were protecting yourself in the only way you could. You were being practical.”
“I wish it were that simple,” Grace said. “I should have explained and then trusted you to understand. I took the cowardly way out.”
Some of the wariness left his eyes. “Yes, you should have trusted me. Because I do understand.” His eyes darkened. “And I suppose if I ask you to go for a walk, you’ll say no.”
She didn’t want to say no.
Surely she could handle a few minutes in his company without coming unglued. “I’d say yes, actually.” She hesitated, then slid her arm through his. “And you can tell me about the cats. I miss them.” She took a breath. “After that you can explain what really happened to your face. I don’t believe your story for a second.”
THEY WALKED FOR FIFTEEN minutes, sometimes talking, sometimes silent. At first Grace felt uncomfortable and self-conscious, but slowly the silences grew more comfortable, like the kind between old friends. Feeling comfortable like this didn’t make sense.
But maybe not everything had to make sense.
“So I want to know all the details about the little guys. Are they healthy? Growing a lot?”
“My mother has been giving them a special mix of broth and egg yolks. She swears it will help them grow. All I know is it smells nauseating. Then yesterday my father took Ivan the Terrible for a short walk on the back patio.” He gave a dry laugh. “Don’t worry. It was only for a few minutes, just enough to give the little guy a chance to work on his muscles. He’s the most uncoordinated animal I’ve ever seen.”
As they walked it began to snow lightly. Grace watched car lights glow red in the twilight as commuters headed home or out to dinner or to the ballet and opera. It was all so different from the quiet harbor community where