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Contents
The Thirteen Gremlins of Grammar
You know more about grammar than you think: Test
Grammar Test Answers and Scorecard
The building blocks of sentences: Parts of Speech
It’s a plane! It’s a bird! No! It’s Superverb!
Describing things: Adjectives and Adverbs
Grammatical glue: Determiners, Conjunctions, Prepositions
Punctuation: What’s the point?
Punctuation: Devices for separating and joining
Punctuation: Symbols of meaning
Writing good English: The Elements of Style
The Thirteen Gremlims of Grammar
| 1 | Correct speling is essential. |
| 2 | Don’t use no double negatives. |
| 3 | Verbs has got to agree with their subjects. |
| 4 | Don’t write run-on sentences they are hard to read. |
| 5 | About them sentence fragments. |
| 6 | Don’t use commas, that aren’t necessary. |
| 7 | A preposition is not a good word to end a sentence with. |
| 8 | Remember to not ever split infinitives. |
| 9 | Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. |
| 10 | Alway’s use apostrophe’s correctly. |
| 11 | Make each singular pronoun agree with their antecedents. |
| 12 | Join clauses good, like a conjunction should. |
| 13 | Proofread your writing to make sure you don’t words out. |
| And, above all, avoid clichés like the plague. |
“The greatest and most necessary task remains, to attain a habit of expression, without which knowledge is of little use.”
– Dr Samuel Johnson, LLD
Introduction: How to wrestle with grammar – and win!
It takes courage to pick up a book on grammar when schooldays are over. Real courage, if only distant (and probably unpleasant) memories survive of what the subject was all about.
But you have picked this one up. And take heart. Charlotte Bronte, author of Jane Eyre and one of the greatest exponents of the language, was hopeless in English at school. Her teachers complained that ‘she knew nothing of grammar’, and could read only ‘tolerably’ and write ‘indifferently’.
More recently, millions of young people have been denied even basic instruction in how to write good English – victims of the quarter-century blackout when the fashionable view of the education establishment was that a knowledge of how the parts of speech work was unnecessary. The acquisition of language skills happened naturally, they preached.
And so it does, to a point. Learning and obeying all the rules of grammar won’t automatically bestow excellence on your speech and writing; but completely ignoring them will almost certainly consign you to inarticulate semi-literacy.
Does being good at grammar help you in life? Thousands of people who hold down highly-paid top jobs can hardly spell or compose a coherent letter without help. Even The Times, regarded as a paragon of grammatical certitude, slips up with comforting regularity: ‘According to the Adult Literacy and Basic Skills Unit,’ it reported recently, ‘one in four 16- to 20-year-olds have reading problems and more than one third have trouble with spelling.’ (the first have should be has, to agree with its antecedent one in four). Embarrassingly, the slip-up occurred in an editorial on the need for the rigorous teaching of grammar.
Are we being picky, or what? The danger is, if we allow seemingly minor transgressions to go unnoticed, we could find ourselves grappling with a leaky language system reeking of confusion and ambiguity.
Surely computer technology can help us with grammar. It can go some of the way, yes, but over-reliance on corrective software can be dangerous. An English student, writing a character study of Bottom from A Midsummer Night’s Dream for a drama exam, ran the essay through the word processor’s grammatical check tool. Her sentence, ‘Puck thought it would be fun to place an asses’s head on Bottom’ was highlighted with the instruction: Avoid this offensive term. Consider revising.
Just as it’s considered necessary to accept some basic instruction before driving a car, pretty much the same applies to writing. Before driving a car you learn to recognise some of its more important parts: the ignition and lights, the steering wheel, clutch, gears, brake, petrol tank, windscreen wipers and so forth. It’s also necessary to know just what each part does, and what happens when you press it, turn it, pull it or push it. You also need to learn some rules – about speed, signalling, red and green lights, traffic and road signs. When you do all this, you can drive. When you do it all well, you might even drive well. Of course many people learn to drive a car without professional instruction, but, insufficiently equipped, they are often a danger to themselves and others.
It’s not too different