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Confessions of a Lapdancer


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all times while you’re dancing. Please make sure your partner doesn’t have a problem with what you do at night – we don’t want you missing shifts because of domestics.

      ‘Here’s the list of don’ts. Don’t believe all the stories about how much girls are earning at other clubs, and don’t boast about how much you earn either. Don’t poke the payroll. Shagging members of staff at the club is a really bad idea and will end in tears – probably yours. Don’t presume you’ll be doing this for a few weeks or months. So many girls say that and then they come back again once they find their dream of being a rocket scientist comes to nothing. So take it seriously.

      ‘Don’t slag off the other girls. Try not to be bitch queens and get on with each other in the dressing room. Don’t think you can rush out and buy designer clothes after two weeks. If you’re making good money it’s tempting to spoil yourself but it’s better to save for that rainy day when you don’t want to dance any more.

      ‘Don’t give customers free dances. Even if George Clooney walks in, he will have to pay like everyone else. But do respect the customers, even if you don’t like them. If you go in there thinking every man who comes into a lapdancing club is a pervert it will reflect badly on you and the Pearl. OK, that’s it for now. Any questions?’

      ‘Yes,’ said Makani. ‘Is it possible just to do pole dancing at the Pearl and not lapdancing?’

      ‘If you work for us you have to be prepared to do both and in any case, lap dances will earn you bigger tips,’ explained Jackie. ‘Once you’ve all cracked the fundamentals of pole dancing I’ll teach you some key lapdancing moves.’

      ‘Do we get to choose our own costumes?’ asked Gabi.

      ‘We like you to pick from our own range but your costume should suit the personality you want to project as a dancer,’ said Jackie. ‘It’s up to you to create a look that will get you noticed. Now, if you have any more questions, ask me later. I’m going to demonstrate a series of moves and I want you to do your best to string them together into a routine.’

      We watched in awe as Jackie swung up and down the pole with grace and ease, tossing back her long brown hair and throwing some amazingly sexy shapes.

      The group burst into spontaneous applause when she finished.

      I did my best to access my inner showgirl and managed to get through the routine only fluffing a couple of spins.

      Poor Gabi was almost in tears now. She literally just couldn’t get into the swing of it. Irena didn’t say much but quietly got on with it and was looking pretty good.

      When everyone had had their go, Jackie called us back into the circle to do some cool-down stretches.

      ‘OK, everyone, relax now,’ she said. ‘Put on your track-suits and come and sit down. Now comes the tough part. I can only take on the girls I think can cope with this job, physically and mentally. Gabi, I think you already know this is not for you. And, Makani – you look beautiful, but I can’t let you loose on a pole until you’re more confident. The rest of you have the makings of decent dancers, but you’ll have to work hard.’

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