one left staring at this spectacle. The men, of which there were now seven or eight, had reverted to throwing parcels around, playing with gadgets and flipping through newspapers. Occasionally, eyes would return to the girl’s backside, but there was no sense that the sight of it was anything unusual. Slowly, Alexa sat back down, wondering whether she had had all the conversations she was going to have for the day. Only two men had bothered to make eye contact so far – and in Derek’s case, it was only so that he could set her up for public humiliation.
She opened up her email and pretended to scan her empty inbox, glancing sideways at Sienna Pageant. This, she thought, was her PA. Or at least, this was the ‘Editor’s PA/Editorial Assistant’, according to the credits in the magazine, which was all she had to go on. Once she had agreed to the role, Peterson had become distinctly vague about how exactly the power share would work between Derek and herself.
‘PADDY.’
A loud, robotic voice fired out across the office. A scruffy-looking lad in shorts was talking through some kind of voice-distorting megaphone.
‘GET THE COFFEES IN.’
A lanky young man with wild, curly hair and braces sprung to his feet in the middle of the office.
Alexa watched as, to her surprise, the young man bounded towards her.
‘Nice t’meetcha,’ he said. He was Irish. ‘I’m Paddy.’
‘Nice to meet you too.’ Alexa smiled, grateful for the non-confrontational human contact. ‘What do you do here?’
‘Anything they tell me.’ He jerked a thumb in the direction of the man with the megaphone. ‘I’m the office gopher. D’you want a tea or coffee?’
‘I’m fine, but thanks for the offer.’
‘Not a problem.’
‘PADDY! COFFEES!’
Alexa risked a smile as she watched the lad spring off towards the kitchen. Again, her thoughts were drawn to what was probably happening two floors down. At Hers, they took turns to make the coffee. Nobody bellowed when they wanted a drink and the juniors were treated like valued members of the team. Still, Paddy didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t even look put-out when someone from the sports desk tried to garrotte him with an elf hat as he passed.
Alexa jumped as her phone buzzed on the desk.
Go get em, Lex!
Good luck with Day 1. Kx
She looked back at her empty inbox, trying not to let the situation get to her. She wondered how Kate would react, in her shoes. Alexa was pretending not to notice, but it was clear that the redheaded man on the next bank of desks was talking about her to one of his colleagues. They kept looking up at her and then nudging one another, muttering quietly and sniggering.
Would Kate put up with this? Would she have remained silent in response to Derek’s joke? It was unlikely. In fact, by now, Kate would probably have reprimanded the deputy editor and the redheaded man like a parent with a child, alienating them and anyone else who dared cross her path. That was the difference between Alexa and Kate. Kate didn’t care what people thought of her. Alexa cared too much.
The office continued to fill up. Alexa opened a browser, trying to decide the best way to get to know everyone. At Hers, she had held a company meeting and played ice-breaker games before holding a brainstorm to generate ideas for reviving the title. Somehow, that didn’t seem like a viable tactic here. She needed to meet the section teams individually. She needed some introductions.
Alexa leaned across the desk, catching the attention of the busty blonde.
‘Hi. Is it Sienna?’
The girl’s plump, red lips melted into a false-looking smile. ‘That’s right.’
Alexa swallowed. It was like talking to a lap dancer.
‘I’m Alexa. It’s nice to meet you.’
It was difficult to know whether a handshake was appropriate, given not only the volume of clutter between them but also the potential for a wardrobe malfunction on the part of Sienna’s low-cut top. Alexa opted for a cheery wave.
‘Can I ask a favour?’
‘Sure,’ she said, batting her eyelashes for the benefit of Derek, who was making no secret of the fact that his foot had worked its way over to Sienna’s side of the desk and was foraging for a playmate.
‘I . . .’ Alexa tried to focus. The deputy editor was playing footsie with his PA. ‘Can you tell me whether any meetings have been set up for this week?’
‘Meetings?’ She jerked sideways, trying not to smile.
‘Yes. You know, introductory . . .’
‘Oh. Right. Um . . .’ Sienna glared playfully at her male boss. ‘Not that I know, no. Ow!’
Alexa thought for a second. She didn’t want to start throwing her weight around but she really did need some help setting up meetings for all the departments. It would take hours to trawl through the names and send out blind invitations to all the people she had never met.
‘Could you . . . might you be able to help set some up for me? Introductions with each of the teams?’
For a moment it looked as though Sienna was too preoccupied with her under-the-desk tousle to hear the question. Then she looked up. Suddenly, she was no longer smiling.
‘With all due respect, Alexa, that’s not my job.’
‘Oh.’ Alexa recoiled, suddenly wondering whether she’d misread the credits. Perhaps Sienna wasn’t a PA after all. ‘I’m so sorry. I must have made a mistake. What . . . What is your role?’
Sienna glanced salaciously at Derek, who grinned back at her.
‘Editorial assistant.’
‘Oh.’ Alexa frowned. She wanted to grab a nearby copy of Banter to check. ‘I thought you were also the editor’s PA. Perhaps I—’
‘I was, but we agreed to drop the PA bit, didn’t we, Derek?’
Derek was no longer looking at Sienna, no longer grinning. His eyes were resolutely fixed on Alexa. ‘That’s right.’
‘But . . .’ Alexa was struggling to understand. ‘Who does the administrative work?’
Sienna shrugged slowly. ‘I guess we don’t really have much, do we, Derek? We all just muck in.’
Alexa was about to reply and then stopped herself. The situation was impossible to navigate. Derek had accepted Sienna’s effective promotion because, presumably, he was getting sexual favours in return. It was not in his interest to restore her official title and Alexa already knew that sexual favours or no sexual favours, Derek would not be siding with her in an argument. But she needed a PA.
The question was, should she go in heavy-handed and demand that Sienna do what she was paid to do, or should she accept the situation and just muck in?
‘Look,’ she began, preparing to lay down some terms. Behind Sienna, she noticed, the redhead and colleagues were passing around pieces of paper, looking in her direction and collapsing in fits of hysterics. Alexa tried to concentrate. She opened her mouth to address the PA and as she did so, she thought of an alternative. ‘I’ll ask Peterson for the headcount to recruit a PA. Someone who can do the administrative work.’
For a fleeting moment, Sienna lost it. ‘Wait!’ she spluttered, before quickly recovering her composure. ‘There’s no need. I’ll do it. I’ll set up your meetings, no problem. I just meant, generally, we don’t have much admin.’
Alexa smiled. ‘Great. Thanks.’
She was about to set off on an introductory tour of the office when something occurred to her.
‘Sienna?’