complexion was so pale, her eyes so haunted that for an instant Rosa felt guilty for causing her more anguish.
“Rosa Killian, I am ashamed of you,” Helen said, scowling down at her. “I never thought of you as a coward.”
Rosa didn’t have the strength to counter the charge. Maybe that’s exactly what she was, a coward. Maybe she didn’t want to face all those stares, all that conjecture. Maybe she didn’t want to face the fact that her husband was really dead. So what? She had a right to hide out if she wanted to. When it came to being a coward, her husband had just set her a fine example.
“No argument?” Helen demanded. She got a firm grip on the covers and ripped them out of Rosa’s grasp. “Get up at once. This day is going to be difficult enough on your children without them having to go through it without their mother. Stop being so damned selfish!”
Rosa stared at her. Helen never cursed. That she had done it now spoke volumes about just how upset she was with her friend.
“I can’t do it,” Rosa said simply, huddling where she was, wishing she’d taken another of those sleeping pills.
“I didn’t think I could do it when Harrison died, either, but I managed. You were there. All my friends were there. And my children needed me. I concentrated on that and somehow I got through the day.”
“Maybe you’re just braver than I am.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Emma, tell her how strong she is.”
“You are, Mama. You’re the strongest woman I know,” Emma said quietly.
“Perhaps I was, once,” Rosa conceded. “Not anymore.”
“Inner strength doesn’t disappear,” Helen chided. “It just gets buried for a while. It’s there when we need it.”
Rosa looked into her friend’s eyes, then into her daughter’s. They were both expecting more than she had to give. “I honestly don’t know if I can do this.”
“You can and you must,” Helen insisted. “You take a shower and fix your hair. I’ll find you something to wear.” She turned to give Emma a reassuring smile. “It will be okay now. Just give us a half hour.”
“Are you sure you don’t need me?” Emma asked, her gaze on Rosa.
Rosa thought of the burden she’d left on her daughter’s shoulders for days now and forced herself to shake her head. “Helen’s right. It’ll be okay. Could you make me a cup of strong tea with some sugar?”
Looking relieved, Emma nodded and left the room.
“You should be proud of your daughter,” Helen said. “She’s heartbroken, but she’s doing what needs to be done. And Matt’s been a godsend. He’s been right by her side. Do you suppose that after all this time…?”
“I can’t even think about that now,” Rosa said, cutting her off.
“Maybe it would do you good to think about something besides yourself,” Helen retorted.
Guilt rushed through Rosa. “I have been selfish. I know that. I just can’t face this. I can’t face any of it.”
“You can,” Helen repeated. “We’ll be right beside you. All of your friends are just waiting for you to reach out to us. Jolie and Sylvia are heartsick that you haven’t let them in. After today, we’ll be right here as you start to pick up the pieces of your life. I can tell you from experience, you do it one day at a time. You’ll have good days and bad ones, but you will go on. And eventually life returns to what passes for normal.”
There was only one thing wrong with Helen’s promise, Rosa thought as she went to get ready. Without her beloved Don, she had no life.
Matt remained by Emma’s side throughout the funeral, but he kept his eye on Jeff. During the service Jeff stayed dutifully beside Andy, but the instant it was over, he began drifting away from the crowd. Matt made his way toward him and clamped a firm hand around the back of his neck.
“You about ready to head back to the house?” Matt asked, keeping his tone friendly enough.
Heat flooding into his cheeks, Jeff regarded him angrily. “What’s it to you?”
“Your mom and Emma will be expecting you,” Matt said. “Are you going to let them down?”
“The whole damn town’s going to be hanging out at the house. Who needs it?” he retorted. “This whole funeral thing is a crock.”
“It’s a ritual,” Matt corrected. “It’s a way for people to say goodbye, a way they can offer comfort to those left behind. Doesn’t it feel good to know how many people loved your dad?”
“They weren’t here today because they loved him,” Jeff said scathingly. “They were here to gawk at us, to watch us bawling our eyes out.”
“You don’t really believe that,” Matt argued. “People were here because they care about all of you. Your family’s a real part of this community. Flamingo Diner isn’t just another restaurant. It’s a home away from home for a lot of people. Maybe you can’t appreciate that now, but someday you will.”
“If you think this town is so great, why’d you leave?”
Matt smiled. “For the same reason you did, I imagine. I needed to figure out who I was and how to make something of my life. Once I’d done that, I came back.”
“You came back because you’ve always had the hots for my sister,” Jeff retorted.
“If that were the case, why wouldn’t I have moved to Washington? That’s where she lives these days,” Matt reminded him mildly.
Jeff apparently had no answer for that. But it didn’t stop him from saying, “I know what I know. I’ve seen the way you look at her.”
“Your sister’s a beautiful woman. Any man who doesn’t take a second look has to be blind.”
Jeff shook his head in disgust. “And Dad always thought you were a straight shooter. You can’t even tell the truth about a little thing like this.”
“Maybe because any feelings I might have for any woman are private,” Matt replied. “That’s a lesson you should learn, kid. Never kiss and tell. Now let’s get on over to the house.”
“I have other plans with my friends.”
“They can wait,” Matt said, his gaze unyielding.
Jeff tried to stare him down, but he was no match for a cop’s steady gaze. “Yeah, whatever,” he said finally.
He started to walk away, but Matt clapped a hand on his shoulder.
“One more thing,” he said. “If these were your real friends, they would have been here today.”
“Like I told Andy, they didn’t even know my dad.”
“But they know you, and they could have come out of respect,” Matt said pointedly. “That’s what real friends do. Maybe you ought to think about that before you get too tight with these people.”
“Lay off, okay?” he said, still defiant. “I’m not a kid and you’re not my boss.”
“Maybe not,” Matt agreed, keeping his gaze perfectly level. He knew how disconcerting that could be when someone had something to hide. “But you step out of line, and I can make you regret it. Your mom and your sister and brother don’t need that kind of grief right now, know what I mean?”
“Whatever,” Jeff said, but he looked just a little shaken.
“I’ll see you at the house, right?” Matt called after him, still not letting up.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jeff said with a one-fingered salute.
Matt forced himself to ignore the