to send a little search party after Underhill, check him out, see how crazy he is?’
‘Well, Conor, since you ask,’ Beevers said very lightly and quietly, ‘something along those lines might be possible.’
‘Actually go there?’ Pumo asked.
‘You said it first.’
Conor poured nearly half of the beer down his throat in a continuous series of swallows. He smacked his lips. Conor returned to his chair and took another slug of the beer. Things had just gone totally out of control – now he could sit back and relax and wait for everybody else to see it.
If the Lost Boss says that he still considers himself Underhill’s lieutenant, Conor thought, I am gonna puke.
Beevers said, ‘I don’t know if you want to call this a moral responsibility or not, but I think we should handle this situation ourselves. We knew the man, we were there.’
Conor opened his mouth, swallowed air, and let the pressure build on his diaphragm. After a second or two he emitted a resounding burp.
‘I’m not asking you to share my sense of responsibility,’ Beevers said, ‘but it would be nice if you could stop being childish.’
‘How can I go to Singapore, for Chrissakes?’ Conor yelled. ‘I don’t have money in the bank to go around the block! I spent all my money on the fare here, man. I’m sleeping on Tina’s couch because I can’t even afford a room at my own reunion, man. Get serious, okay?’
Conor felt immediately embarrassed at blowing up in front of Mike Poole. This was what happened when he went over his limit and got drunk – he got mad too fast. Without making himself sound like an even bigger fool, he wanted to explain things. ‘I mean – okay, I’m an asshole, I shouldn’t ought to’ve yelled. But I’m not like the rest of you guys, I’m not a doctor or a lawyer or an Indian chief, I’m broke, man, I used to be part of the old poor and now I’m part of the new poor. I’m down at sore heels.’
‘Well, I’m no millionaire,’ Beevers said. ‘In fact, as of several weeks ago I resigned from Caldwell, Moran, Morrissey. There were a lot of complicated factors involved, but the fact is, I’m out of a job.’
‘Your wife’s own brother gave you a pink slip?’ Conor asked.
‘I resigned,’ Beevers said. ‘Pat is my ex-wife. Serious differences of opinion came up between myself and Charles Caldwell. Anyhow, I’m not made of money any more than you are, Conor. But I did negotiate a pretty decent golden handshake for myself, and I’d be more than willing to loan you a couple thousand dollars interest-free, to be repaid at your convenience. That ought to take care of you.’
‘I’d help out too,’ Poole said. ‘I’m not agreeing to anything, Harry, but Underhill shouldn’t be hard to find. He must get advances and royalties from his publisher. Maybe they even forward fan mail to him. I bet we could learn Underbill’s address with one phone call.’
‘I can’t believe this,’ said Pumo. ‘All three of you guys just lost your minds.’
‘You were the first to say you’d go,’ Conor reminded him.
‘I can’t run out on my life for a month. I have a restaurant to run.’
Pumo hadn’t noticed when everything went out of control. Okay, Conor thought, Singapore, what the hell?
‘Tina, we need you.’
‘I need me more than you do. Count me out.’
‘If you stay behind, you’ll be sorry the rest of your life.’
‘Jesus, Harry, in the morning this is going to sound like an Abbott and Costello movie. What the hell do you think you’re going to do if you ever manage to find him?’
Pumo wants to stay around New York and play games with Maggie Lah, Conor thought.
‘Well, we’ll see,’ Beevers said.
Conor lobbed his empty beer bottle toward the wastebasket. The bottle fell three feet short and slanted off under the dresser. He could not remember switching from vodka to beer. Or had he started on beer, then gone to vodka, and switched back to beer again? Conor inspected the glasses on the table and tried to pick out his old one. The other three were giving him that ‘cheerleader’ look again, and he wished he’d made his net shot into the wastebasket. Conor philoso-phically poured several inches of vodka into the nearest glass. He scooped a handful of cubes from the bucket and plopped them in. ‘Give me an S,’ he said, raising the glass in a final toast. He drank. ‘Give an I. Give me an N. Give me a…G. Give me an A.’
Beevers told him to sit down and be quiet, which was fine with Conor. He couldn’t remember what came after A anyhow. Some of the vodka slopped onto his pants as he sat down again beside Mike.
‘Now can we go see Jimmy Stewart?’ he heard Pumo ask.
3
A little while later someone suggested that he lie down and take a nap on Mike’s bed, but Conor refused, no, no, he was fine, he was with his asshole buddies, all he had to do was get moving, anybody who could still spell Singapore wasn’t too bent out of shape…
Without any transition he found himself out in the corridor. He was having trouble with his feet, and Mikey had a firm grip on his left arm. ‘What’s my room number?’ he asked Mikey.
‘You’re staying with Tina.’
‘Good old Tina.’
They turned a corner and good old Tina and Harry Beevers were right in front of them, waiting for the elevator. Beevers was combing his hair in front of a big mirror.
The next thing Conor knew, he was sitting on the floor of the elevator, but he managed to get back on his feet before the doors opened.
‘You’re cute, Harry,’ he said to the back of Beevers’ head.
The elevator door opened and for a long time they moved through long, blank hallways crowded with people. Conor kept bumping into guys who were too impatient to listen to his apologies. He heard people singing ‘Homeward Bound,’ which was the world’s most beautiful song. ‘Homeward Bound’ made him feel like crying.
Poole was making sure he didn’t fall down. Conor wondered if Mike actually knew what a great guy he was, and decided he didn’t – that was what made him so great.
‘I’m really okay,’ he said.
He sat down beside Mike in a darkened hall. A black-haired man with a narrow moustache, wearing what looked like a prize-fighter’s championship belt under his tuxedo, was singing ‘America the Beautiful’ and jumping around onstage in front of a band.
‘We missed Jimmy Stewart,’ Mike whispered to him. ‘This is Wayne Newton.’
‘Wayne Newton?’ Conor asked, then heard that his voice was too loud. People were laughing at what he had said. Conor felt too embarrassed for Mikey to set him straight – Wayne Newton was a fat teenager who sang like a girl. This Las Vegas toughie wasn’t Wayne Newton. Conor closed his eyes and the whole dark hall instantly began to swing him around with it in great zooming circles. Conor found that he was unable to open his eyes. Applause, whistles, shouts of approval filled his ears. He heard his own first snore, and less then a second later fell into unconsciousness.
4
‘We don’t have as many groupies as musicians,’ Harry Beevers said to Poole, ‘but they’re out there. They’re basically earth mothers with a kinky little yen for excitement. Is he getting heavy? Put him on your couch and come back down to the bar with us.’
‘I want to get to bed,’ Poole said. Conor Linklater, a hundred and sixty pounds of dead weight bequeathed to him by Tina Pumo, was draped over