Christopher Healy

The Hero’s Guide to Storming the Castle


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      “Oh, so he’s a flying kidnapper?” the king said with a sarcastic smile.

      “You’re letting him get away,” Ella barked.

      “Seriously, Father, please send your guards out to the gates!” Frederic begged. “You might be able to catch the criminal before he gets off the palace grounds!”

      Wilberforce let out a long, slow breath. “If it means so much to you.” He turned to his guards. “You two: Step outside and look for any signs of a magical winged bogeyman.”

      A pair of guardsmen bowed and marched off.

      “And we’ll go this way,” Ella said as she began to leave in the opposite direction.

      “Stop her,” Wilberforce said, and the remaining two guards stepped in front of Ella to block her exit.

      “What are you doing, Father?” asked Frederic.

      “If there’s anything dangerous going on, my men will handle it,” the king said. “Neither of you will be involved. And to make sure of that, I’m confining you both to your rooms for the night. Guards, take these two to their quarters and stand watch outside their doors until morning.”

      Ella considered trying to overtake the men. But she knew it would only cause more trouble. She reluctantly sheathed her sword as the guards nudged her and Frederic down the hall.

      “He wore a cape,” Ella said as they walked.

      “Who?” Frederic asked.

      “The kidnapper. He was a villain with a cape. See? I was right.”

      “Actually, it had a hood,” Frederic said. “So technically, it was a cowl.”

      Ella sighed.

      King Wilberforce watched them disappear around a corner. Then he closed and locked the balcony doors. That was convenient, he thought. With that Erinthian gone, it’s one nuisance down, one to go.

      Frederic was sitting slumped on his bed. His father had won again. Why do I turn into a helpless infant every time that man raises his voice, he thought. How does he do it to me? He was startled by the sound of his window creaking open.

      “Are you coming?” Ella asked, poking her head inside.

      Frederic jumped to his feet and ran over to her.

      “What are you standing on?” he asked.

      “The ledge.”

      “It’s so narrow!”

      “Don’t act like you’ve never heard of tiptoeing, Frederic—I’ve seen you sneak behind the drapes every time Liam suggests going for a run. So, are you coming?”

      “Where?”

      “To find Liam. I figured out who took him.”

      “I suspect my father is behind it,” Frederic said sorrowfully.

      “No, it’s Briar Rose!” Ella blurted. She blinked her wide eyes repeatedly as words spilled from her mouth at a rapid pace. She couldn’t have looked more wired if she’d just guzzled an entire pot of double-strength Carpagian Wide-Awake Brew. “I know who the kidnapper is; I put all the clues together. The hood, the little gray beard, the mumbly voice like somebody just killed his puppy: That’s exactly how Lila described Ruffian the Blue, the bounty hunter. And who does Ruffian the Blue work for?”

      “Bri—” Frederic began to answer.

      “Briar Rose! Exactly!” Ella shouted (and then shushed herself). “Briar is still bent on marrying Liam; and now she’s going to force the wedding to happen, and you and I have to go to Avondell and stop it. So, are you coming?”

      “Right now?” Frederic asked. “Can’t we just wait until morning and leave through the front doorway?”

      “Do you really think your father’s going to let us?”

      “No, you’re right.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do it. I think I’m pretty much ready to go.”

      Ella frowned when she noticed how Frederic was dressed: a pale yellow suit with a royal-blue sash across the chest and tasseled shoulder pads. “You changed into formal wear?” she asked. “When you thought you would be locked in your room all night?”

      “It helps me relax.”

      “Suit yourself,” Ella said.

      “I just did.” Frederic laughed.

      “Did what?”

      “Suit mys— Never mind.”

      “Okay, let’s head out,” said Ella. “Take your sword, though.”

      “You know,” Frederic hedged. “Like I said before, I’m not really a sword person.”

      “Take your sword,” Ella repeated.

      He attached the sword to his belt along with a pouch of coins and a small satchel of writing implements, then he climbed through the window to join Ella on the ledge. He wobbled a bit when he got a view of the lantern-lit walkways three stories below. “I’m not really a heights man either.”

      Ella put her hand under his chin and raised his head to look him in the eyes. “You’re my hero, Frederic. You can do this.”

      “Of course I can,” Frederic said. “I’ve got narrow feet.”

      As the two shimmied along the ledge, it occurred to Frederic that he was finally doing what Ella had always wanted him to: going on an adventure with her.

      And she asked me to, he thought. She didn’t run off to rescue Liam on her own. She wants me by her side. Perhaps there’s hope for us yet. The pair sidled around a corner and onto the balcony where the kidnapping had taken place. As Ella had hoped, the bounty hunter’s rope and grappling hook were still lying there in a pile. She tossed the barbed hook up to the roof, where it caught onto the side of a chimney.

      “Shall we?”

      Climbing up onto the roof, running along the ramparts, descending into the gardens behind the palace, and hopping over the exterior gates all took much longer than Ella had hoped—Frederic moved with the speed of a wobbly toddler wearing shoes for the first time. By the time they were off the palace grounds, the sun was coming up.

      “I am so tired,” Frederic said, collapsing on the grass.

      “Well,” Ella said, sitting down next to him, “we need to pause and figure out a plan anyway.”

      “Oh, I have a plan,” Frederic said. He pulled two pieces of parchment and a quill from his satchel. He quickly dashed off two notes, rolled them up, and stood. “Let’s head into town and hire a messenger to deliver these. It’s time to get the League of Princes back together.”

      Mere words cannot defeat a true hero. Unless they happen to be the words to some sort of Instant Death spell. Magic is scary.

      —THE HERO’S GUIDE TO BEING A HERO

      ix months before Liam’s kidnapping, Prince Gustav exploded. Not literally. Although there was quite a mess. You see, Gustav did not share the same taste in music as his sixteen older brothers. The elder princes, for example, adored “The Sixteen Hero Princes of Sturmhagen.” That song had everything: an evil witch, five kidnapped bards, sixteen strong, young heroes. The only thing it didn’t have was Gustav, the seventeenth and youngest of the Sturmhagen princes—which was unfortunate, as Gustav was the only one of them actually involved in saving the bards. Suffice it to say Gustav didn’t care for the song.