She remembered her sister’s behaviour throughout the festive period and that it had been tempered slightly only because of the presence of her aunt and uncle. But it was a problem that Gabrielle had to deal with on her own and so Yvette said nothing more.
As usual, Finn was waiting for her beneath the tree, his arms outstretched, and she snuggled into them. As they kissed Finn felt Gabrielle’s body yielding against his and he felt himself harden as his own desire rose. Eventually he pulled away from her and as they began walking through the alleyways of the town, he knew he would have to be very strong that night—maybe strong enough for both of them if he wanted to protect Gabrielle.
To take his mind off his own emotions he asked her about her uncle and aunt, and their visit.
‘Ooh, it was lovely,’ Gabrielle said. ‘Their visits before were sometimes curtailed because Uncle Raoul was busy running his business in Paris, but he sold that last year. He has a weak heart and said he wasn’t killing himself for a business that would die with him anyway.’
‘Have they no children to hand it on to?’
‘No,’ Gabrielle said. ‘That’s why they think so much of Yvette and me. I do love them very much, but all through their visit all I could think of was how much I was missing you. As I said, Aunt Bernadette said that it was ridiculous for us to be sent to bed at eight thirty, but if my father didn’t insist on that, then I would never have been able to sneak out and see you at all.’
‘No, that’s true enough,’ Finn agreed. ‘The way he goes on, though, is not fair to you. You go nowhere. Even back home in Buncrana, my brother Joe and I used to go to the socials run by the Church on a Saturday evening. Mind you,’ he said, with a rueful grin, ‘I had to fight for the right to do that. Mammy couldn’t believe that I wanted to go when I turned sixteen. But sometimes you have to fight for what you want in this life. I told my young sister the same, for she used to sway like the wind, do whatever Mammy wanted. She stood against her too in the end, because she wanted to be nursemaid to the people in the Big House.’
‘I never defy my father.’ Gabrielle said. ‘I do whatever he wants and so does everyone else in the house.’
‘That worries me a little,’ Finn admitted. ‘You have said that your father wants you to make a good marriage and I am afraid that—’
Gabrielle came to a sudden stop and, facing Finn, took his face between her hands. ‘Listen to me, Finn,’ she said. ‘I love you with all my heart and soul. My life is nothing without you and if I cannot have you then I will have no one.’
‘But if your father—’
‘If I ever felt that I couldn’t stand against my father, then I would go to my aunt and uncle in Paris,’ Gabrielle said. ‘I know they would help me.’
‘I saw you with your aunt in the town a couple of times.’ Finn said. ‘You looked so carefree.’
Gabrielle was a little irritated by what Finn said. ‘How shallow you must think me,’ she answered. ‘That carefreeness was an act I was putting on; to behave any other way would have been unkind to my aunt and uncle, and also would make my parents angry and suspicious.’ She looked at Finn and cried, ‘My throat was so constricted with love of you I could barely eat.’
‘You’re not crying?’ Finn said, appalled.
‘I’m trying not to,’ Gabrielle said brokenly. She gave a sigh and went on, ‘But I’m hurt that you could think so little of me.’
They had reached the farmhouse and Finn kicked the door open and pulled Gabrielle inside.
‘Oh, my darling, I’m so sorry,’ he said, unfastening Gabrielle’s cape as he spoke. He let it fall to the floor as he kissed the tears from her face. He couldn’t believe he had made his beloved cry and he didn’t know how he could make it up to her. He drew her towards the sofa before the fire and lit the lamp. ‘I deserve to be hung, drawn and quartered for upsetting you so,’ he said.
‘You have no reason to distrust me,’ Gabrielle said. ‘My uncle and aunt were all for taking me back to Paris with them. Before I met you I would have loved to go, but all I could envisage were more weeks before I could see you and I knew that I couldn’t have borne that.’
‘How did you get out of it?’
‘I told them that it would be better for me to go in the spring when Yvette has left school and will be able to take my place in the shop.’
‘Captain Hamilton says that we will be gone from here by the spring,’ Finn said. ‘Some are moving out at the end of January, but I’ll not leave until the officers do. So it might be a good thing for you to go to Paris for a while.’
Gabrielle fell as if a tight band was squeezing her heart at the thought that in a few short months Finn would be gone. What was Paris to that?
She knew when he went from here it would be as if he had disappeared from her life, for there was no way that they could communicate, and she knew that that would be really hard for her, for them both; she didn’t imagine that it would be any easier for Finn to bear. She tried to bite back the sob, but Finn heard it and he held her even tighter as she said forlornly, ‘Every moment must count from now, my darling, because these are what I must commit to memory until you come back to claim me.’
Finn too felt a lump in his throat as he bent to kiss Gabrielle, and that kiss unlocked fires of passion in both of them. The poignancy of their situation and the threat of parting so soon—and maybe for years—were in their minds, and Finn felt as though desire was almost consuming him.
Gabrielle made no move to stop him as he kissed her neck and throat. Her sobs turned to little gasps of pleasure as he unbuttoned the bodice of her dress and fondled her breasts. Even when he eased her bloomers from her and slid his hands between her legs while his lips fastened on her nipples she wanted him to go on and on, and do something to still the feelings coursing through her. She wasn’t afraid, because she was with Finn and she knew he would never harm her.
There was a sudden sharp pain as Finn entered her and then the rapturous feeling as they moved together as if they were one person. She felt enveloped in total bliss that rose higher and higher in waves of exquisite joy, so that she cried out again and again.
Eventually their movements slowed and then stopped. Finn slipped off Gabrielle and on to the floor beside her, and she lay back on the sofa in sated satisfaction with her eyes closed.
Suddenly she realised that Finn was crying. ‘My darling! What is it?’
Finn turned a tear-washed face to her. ‘Gabrielle, do you know what we have just done?’
Gabrielle nodded. ‘I’m pretty sure that you have done what you threatened to do to me before.’
‘What was that?’
‘Ravish me,’ Gabrielle said, smiling at Finn, who looked so ashamed of himself.
‘Yes,’ said Finn. ‘Dear God, I deserve horsewhipping. How could I have been so stupid?’
‘Don’t,’ Gabrielle said. ‘It’s the most wonderful experience I have ever had.’
‘You don’t understand,’ Finn said. ‘I wanted to protect you. My feelings for you just overwhelmed me. I am so sorry.’
‘It isn’t all your fault,’ Gabrielle said. ‘I could have put a stop to it if I had wanted to. Maybe when two people love as we love, it’s impossible to wait.’
Finn got up and began to dress. What if she was to have a child? That would be the very worst thing to happen to an unmarried woman. And it wasn’t as if he would be there to share the burden with her. That thought brought him out in a cold sweat.
Gabrielle seemed not in the least bit worried about that and she looked into Finn’s eyes as she said, ‘With or without marriage I now belong totally to you, Finn Sullivan. My lover and my very own British soldier.’
Finn