Polly Courtney

The Day I Died


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designed for motorised vehicles, let alone double-decker buses.

      ‘Station’s up there,’ he barked, pressing a button that made the doors hiss open and watching her stumble out into the daylight. He was still shaking his head as the bus thundered off down the small country lane.

      It wasn’t clear whether Trev’s Teashop, the greasy spoon that occupied part of the quaint station building, was open; it looked dark inside, although she thought she saw movement in the window as she approached.

      She was about to enter and ask about her chances of a cup of tea when the door swung open and a ruddy-faced bald man in an apron waddled out.

      ‘Morning!’ he squawked, sounding as though his voice box was blocked–a bit like his arteries, perhaps.

      She smiled and watched as he set to work winding out a frilly brown awning above them, humming tunelessly to himself.

      ‘Hi,’ she ventured, watching as he straightened out one of the tassels on the awning and stopped to admire his work.

      ‘Yes, yes.’ The man–whom she presumed to be Trevor himself–brushed his hands against one another and bustled back inside. She followed him in. ‘I haven’t forgotten about you. You’re a tad early, though, aren’t you? Not that that’s necessarily a bad trait. I mean, early is better than late, of course. But on time is preferable.’

      She frowned and loitered by the counter, wondering how a café stayed in business when its owner was so rude to the customers.

      ‘Are you…are you open, then?’

      ‘Nearly there, nearly there,’ he muttered, switching the lights on and squeezing behind the counter to flick more switches. She waited patiently, hoping that the preparations would soon be in place for her cup of tea. ‘Watch and learn, watch and learn.’

      She continued to wait, perplexed as to why she should watch or learn, and irritated by the man’s habit of saying everything twice.

      When it was clear that the water was boiling, the mugs were in order–twice rearranged by the red-faced man–and there was milk in the fridge, her frustration began to get the better of her.

      ‘Can I have a cup of tea?’

      The man stared at her as though she’d just demanded he hand over the contents of the till. ‘What a presumptuous young lady!’

      She stared back at him, mirroring his expression. She was the customer, for God’s sake. She’d been here nearly ten minutes. All she wanted was a cup of bloody tea.

      ‘I think perhaps we’ll have to run through the ground rules again. Remember, I’m paying you to serve the customers here, not to sit around drinking cups of tea,’ he said testily.

      ‘I—’ she started to protest and then stopped herself. The pompous man seemed to be assuming she was here to serve customers. He thought she was a waitress or something. Which might mean…which might mean he’d pay her. And if he paid her, she might be able to use the money on somewhere to live, which would mean that she could get a proper job, lead a normal life, do all the things that normal people did when they had a background and qualifications and experience and a past they could remember. In a moment of clarity, the plan formed in her mind.

      ‘Of course, no, sorry.’ She smiled apologetically, still thinking through the details. ‘I didn’t mean to sound rude. I was just asking whether, in general, I can have a cup of tea. You know, like, in a quiet moment when there’s not many customers, when I’ve been on my feet for hours…whether I can have a cup of tea in that instance.’

      The man looked at her, touching his shiny head and clearly trying to work something out. ‘Hmm.’

      He continued staring at her, his forehead deeply creased. He knew, she thought. He knew she wasn’t the girl he’d hired.

      ‘Well, in that instance…well, yes, I suppose that would be OK.’ He nodded, dipping his head in and out of his multiple chins. ‘Where did you say you were from, er…sorry, I’ve forgotten your name.’

      She opened her mouth, hoping something would tumble out automatically. Nothing did. Her fingernails dug into the leather wallet in her pocket as she struggled desperately for an answer.

      ‘Er, what, my name?’

      He looked at her strangely. ‘Of course your name.’

      Then it came to her: not her name, but the closest thing to it.

      ‘Jo,’ she said. ‘Jo Simmons.’

      ‘Oh. Right.’ He frowned again. ‘And you’re from…?’

      Oh God, thought Jo. Too many questions. Where on earth was she supposed to be from?

      ‘Well, London, most recently.’ At least that much was true.

      ‘But you’re foreign, aren’t you?’

      ‘Um…my parents are.’ Genius. She was getting quite good at this.

      ‘But where—’

      ‘Could you just remind me of the hours I’ll be working?’

      He looked at her, smoothing the apron over his enormous belly, then finally replied, ‘Well, you’ll remember we settled on seven till noon because of your classes in the afternoons.’

      ‘My classes, yes, exactly…Seven, that’s what I thought. And I can’t remember what you said about pay. Could you…?’

      ‘Thirty pounds a day, as we agreed,’ he snapped. ‘Six days a week.’

      Jo nodded again. That was a hundred and eighty pounds a week. How much did it cost to rent around here?

      ‘Shall I show you the ropes?’

      Jo breathed a sigh of relief and allowed the bald man to give her a sweeping tour of what was really quite a basic setup: hot-water tank, toaster, fridge, coffee machine, cupboards filled with grotesque sets of matching brown and gold crockery. It was clear that the man had delusions of grandeur for Trev’s Teashop.

      The reference to Jo’s parents had left her feeling ill at ease. It wasn’t that she didn’t like to lie to the man; she barely knew him, and what she did know she didn’t particularly like. It was that she didn’t know what the truth was. She didn’t know where her parents were from–or where they were now. She didn’t know whether they knew about the nightclub explosion, or whether they knew she’d been caught up in it. She didn’t even know if she had parents. The chances were, though, there was someone out there who cared about her. She just didn’t know how to let them know she was OK without turning herself in–and that was the one thing she couldn’t do.

      ‘I’ll expect you to do most of the flitting between tables.’ The man waved a stubby arm across the premises. She nodded again, wondering who had been flitting up until now. ‘Now, you’re wearing black trousers, I trust?’

      Jo froze, suddenly remembering that she was wearing a tiny dress and no shoes underneath the jacket. ‘Well, I couldn’t find trousers, but—’

      ‘Ooh, Mr Jackson! First customer!’ cried Trevor. ‘First customer!’ he said again, ushering her towards the back of the café. ‘Your shirt’s in the store cupboard under the stairs. Quick, quick!’

      It was with mixed feelings that Jo pulled the brown aertex shirt over her head. She wasn’t keen on the embroidered teacup that covered her left breast, or the fact that she had Trev’s Teashop’ plastered across her front, but she had to admit that it was more appropriate than her own attire, which she was desperately trying to convert into a knee-length skirt to cover the tops of her long legs.

      Along with a trowel, a plastic rhino, a sketchbook and a rah-rah skirt, Jo found what she was looking for in the back of the store cupboard: a mirror. She peered at her reflection in the half-light.

      It was like looking