Elisabeth looked down at her salad, her appetite vanishing. She felt like there was a stamp across her forehead that disclosed her guilt.
‘Are you sure?’ she enquired weakly.
Robert smiled in a way that made his eyes go crinkly at the edges. ‘Of course.’
A simultaneous rush of relief and affection compelled her to take his hand. She stroked his skin with her thumb, the first real act of intimacy between them in weeks. They’d made love, of course, but methodically–not with the passion they’d once shared.
‘What time are you expecting them?’
He reached for his glass of sparkling water and took a very long drink. ‘Early evening,’ he said. ‘They’re scheduled to arrive at seven.’
‘Great!’ Elisabeth sang, wearied by the thought of it. She wasn’t looking forward to this evening at all. The last thing she wanted was to make Lana Falcon’s acquaintance. The woman spelled trouble for Robert and her–she couldn’t put her finger on it but it was definitely there.
Then again, Elisabeth was hardly able to indulge in the mistrust of others. Swallowing her memories of Alberto Bellini with the next slug of Sancerre, she put her cutlery together and gave Robert a tight smile. Since the fight she’d vowed to put him from her mind. It wasn’t easy. Every time she thought of Alberto’s touch, the way he had caressed her body with hands that had known a thousand dangers, she felt a shiver ripple right down her spine.
‘I’ll give them a tour of the Orient before we eat,’ said Robert. He cleared his throat.
As Elisabeth glanced up she felt a stab of guilt. She had to tell him, they were getting married. The twinkle of her engagement ring caught her eye. Robert still hadn’t mentioned a date for the wedding. In a defence she didn’t quite support, she decided it was no wonder she’d found solace elsewhere.
The mess you’re in is Robert’s fault, is it?
Yes, it is. He forced me into Alberto’s arms.
Don’t kid yourself, Elisabeth.
‘Is there something you want to talk to me about?’ she asked, bracing herself for the accusation. Hoping for it, even.
You’re a coward.
Instead Robert’s face broke into a warm smile. ‘No, darling.’ She got the impression he was treading carefully with what he said. ‘Why?’
She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
A moment passed. She felt his eyes on her but she gave nothing away. For a second it was like they didn’t know each other, just two strangers meeting at lunch. Abruptly he stood up.
‘I’ve got a VIP arrival,’ he said, checking his watch. ‘I’ll see you this evening, yes?’
Elisabeth dabbed her mouth with a napkin. ‘Of course–I’ve got a session with Donatella anyway.’
Robert tried a laugh. ‘Good luck,’ he said, remembering Elisabeth’s formidable voice coach.
Elisabeth didn’t join in. She rose to her feet. Then she added in a weird chummy sort of voice, ‘Till this evening!’
Silence. There had been this awful politeness between them for weeks. She felt like she should shake his hand.
‘Eight o’clock?’
She nodded, then grabbed her things and made a swift exit. It seemed important she be the first one to leave.
Later that afternoon, Robert stood for a long time under the hot needles of water. He scrubbed furiously at his skin, washing away the sleepless night he’d had, the torturous day; preparing himself for what was to come.
In less than two hours, Lana Falcon would be in his hotel. He would see her again. He would see those clear green eyes and pretend he hadn’t looked into them a thousand times before. He would embrace her politely when they met, feel her familiar shape and skin and smell her hair. He would talk to her like they had never even met.
But despite how it had ended, he couldn’t bring himself to wish he had never been a part of her life. It would still be Laura, he couldn’t doubt it, and for that reason he knew he would still love her. He would still love her in that lasting, irrevocable way he could not summon for anybody else. Her laugh, her kindness, her body.
He remembered the night she had walked out on him, the guilt that had set hard in their bones finally winning the fight. That morning he’d woken to find her gone, her closet empty, not a trace of her left. Except a note:
Robbie, this is my lie. Let me take it with me.
The words he had lived with for the past decade.
A familiar surge of anger flared. Everything she’d put him through and that was how she repaid him. He’d told her it would happen. She hadn’t listened.
He scoured his face and chest, ridding himself of the memories.
At the MGM he’d heard they were coming, wanted to scope out the Orient before next summer. It sounded so simple, just an introduction over dinner, except Robert knew it would be almost impossible to do.
I’m going to see Laura again.
He didn’t think Elisabeth had suspected anything over lunch today. When he thought of his innocent fiancée he felt nothing but shame.
Turning off the shower, he stepped out, pressing a towel to his face. It was easier to feel anger than it was hurt.
He could not continue to let Lana Falcon rule his life. She had moved on; she didn’t want him. She’d wasted no time in getting married to another man. Clearly she had forgotten everything; meanwhile he’d been holding out on the rest of his life–and for what? Some girl who couldn’t care less.
Tonight would draw a line under the past. He was a St Louis, a businessman, and he hadn’t got this far by indulging his emotions.
Robert wrapped the towel around his waist and emerged into the bedroom.
To his surprise Elisabeth was sitting on the bed, her eyes dead on him. She must have come in and got changed while he’d been in the shower. Her gun-metal-grey gown was studded with crystals and a serious expression clouded her beautifully made-up face.
‘I thought I was meeting you there,’ he said, running a hand through his wet hair. He pulled a dark blue suit out of the closet.
Elisabeth swallowed. ‘I’ve got to be honest with you.’
Robert turned round. Immediately she looked away and in that movement he knew the hurt he’d caused her ran deeper than he knew. He’d withdrawn the past few months, he’d treated her unfairly–what was she supposed to think?
‘About what?’ he asked softly.
She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, then opened it again. Tears threatened and she raised a hand to stem them. ‘I don’t know how to …’ she began.
Robert saw his opportunity. ‘I know things haven’t been great between us,’ he said quietly, approaching the bed.
‘Me, too,’ she blurted. ‘It’s because I’ve done—I mean, I’ve been—’
‘Stop.’ He sat down next to her and put a finger to her mouth. ‘I already know.’
Elisabeth was confused. ‘You do?’
‘Of course.’ He put an arm round her and pulled her into his warmth. ‘I’ve not been there for you lately, I’m aware of that.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘To tell the truth I’ve