as I got the strapping off, I shampooed my hair and pin-curled it. I was just going to the closet to get the dryer hood when I heard the siren. Then the crash trucks started up.
First time I ever heard that, back at Kirtland, I ran right outside, looking down the flight-line for smoke and then when I seen it I wished I hadn’t, because I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself. By the time we got to Drampton, England, I guess I’d learned there was no point. Wait long enough I knew I’d either be getting a visit from the chaplain, standing on my doorstep like the Grim Reaper hisself, giving me my wake-up call, or I’d be hearing from Betty Gillis on the jungle drums.
It took her thirteen minutes.
‘Breathe again,’ she said. ‘It’s 366 Squadron. You wanna come up here for coffee?’
So we all rendezvoused at Betty’s. She was minding Sandie again, didn’t seem to know where Lois was.
I said, ‘One of these days that kid’s gonna start calling you Mommy.’
‘Be fine by me,’ she said, ‘she’s such a little cutie. Way I see it, Peggy, some folks just aren’t cut out to be mothers, and if I can lend a helping hand, why, I’m doing Sandie a favour too. You heard the way Lois yells at her sometimes? Tell you the truth, I’d love another little one of my own, only Ed’s acting stubborn about it.’
Betty had been putting out feelers, trying to find out the news from 366. See if there were casualties. Pretty soon her telephone started ringing. One of their Invaders had come in on a tight turn and an engine flamed out. The crew had had to eject, and they were all safe home bar one, a sergeant called Benedetto, left one of his legs behind in the wreckage.
We kinda knew his wife. You see girls around, get to recognise their faces. But the Benedettos were quartered on Soapsuds Row, down by the hangars, and besides, we were First Lieuts. We didn’t socialise with the enlisted.
Gayle said, ‘Is he gonna die?’
Betty said, ‘Honey, they can do wonders these days. They’ll give him a new leg and a disability pension and everything.’
Audrey said, ‘That’s right. Air force takes care of its own. Now let’s do something to perk ourselves up. How about a Scarf Exchange? And I have a tangerine lipstick somebody might like.’
Gayle said, ‘He still could die.’
Betty said, ‘We’ll have no more of that kinda talk, thank you, young lady. Now, I have a tray of brownies here needs arranging nice and pretty. Care to make yourself useful?’
Gayle dumped the brownies on the plate.
I whispered to her, ‘You wanna come out driving, after? Get off the base for five minutes? Celebrate me getting back the use of my shift arm?’
She nodded. Little Sandie was looking at her, so solemn. Even she knew something had happened.
Betty’s Best-Ever Brownies
2 sticks sweet butter
4 eggs
4 ounces powdered chocolate
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup sifted flour
1 teaspoon McCormick’s vanilla extract
Heat the oven to 350°C. Grease and flour a large baking tray.
Melt butter over a low flame, stir in chocolate and set aside to cool.
Beat eggs and sugar until pale and creamy. Fold in the chocolate mixture and blend carefully. Gently add the flour, pour into pan and bake until just set (20–30 minutes).
Leave in pan until cool. Cut into squares for serving.
Instead of heading up to Brakey we went over by The Warren, the only little bit of woodland in the neighbourhood, spruce mainly, and came through it on a narrow track, trees pressing in both sides, but I liked it a lot better than having that big Norfolk sky watching every move I made. There was a nice earthy smell in there, too, like spring might be on the move.
Gayle was still quiet, so I just talked to myself.
I said, ‘This is like the fairy forest in one of Crystal’s bedtime stories. You see any handsome woodcutters? No, well, I guess Herb Moon’s still winging his way home with the rest of the boys.’
‘How come nobody ever talks about it?’ she said. ‘Peggy? About crashes and stuff? Like this morning, Benedetto nearly didn’t make it, and we just go to coffee at Betty’s and sit round, asking her why her brownies taste so good? Can you explain this to me, ’cause I just don’t get it? I mean, when you hear there’s a plane down, when you hear those trucks going off, don’t none of you ever get the shakes, waiting for the holy Joe to come creeping up the path, tell you you’re widow of the week? Hell, Peggy, don’t none of you get scared?’
I pulled over.
I said, ‘Well, course we do, hon, but we’re not just any old wives. We’re air force. We gotta stay calm and steady for our boys. You know that.’
She said, ‘But why can’t we talk about it?’
I said, ‘Because the boys never do, and if we did, it’d be like jinxing them. Every day they just go out there and do what they gotta do, and you know what? They’re the best. Benedetto blew it, is all. Whaddya expect from 366 Squadron?’
I could bullshit for the Lone Star State.
‘Peg!’ she said. ‘I’m not so dumb I’d say anything to Okey. But that don’t mean us girls can’t talk about it. Picking through Audrey’s goddamned scarves and Benedetto’s leg’s still out there in whatever’s left of his plane, sitting there like a piece a baloney.’
She had the shakes.
‘Happens to 366, it can happen to 96th, it can happen to the air force Chief of Staff hisself. What about when the flaps jam?’ she said. ‘What about when the throttle lever seizes? Stuff happens. Ejector seat don’t eject. Hell, sometimes these things just…they just…break. Don’t make no difference then if it’s a combat ace up there or a blind chimpanzee. I’m scared, Peggy. I’m scared it’s gonna happen to my Okey. Then what will I do?’
I just let her cry some, held her in my arms. I caught a whiff of booze on her. She must have downed it as soon as she heard the crash siren.
I said, ‘Honey, you gotta get a grip. You carry on this way, you’re gonna make yourself ill. Then what’s Okey gonna do? Airman without his sweetheart ain’t worth a light.’
‘Yeah,’ she said. She was fixing up her face. ‘I know.’
We carried on, looping up behind Pepper Clump and the sugar factory and then starting to drop down towards Drampton, so we could pick up Crystal. And who should we pass, trudging along in her zip-front boots, but the woman herself.
I said, ‘There’s Kath Pharaoh.’
She ran when she saw me stop for her. She didn’t take any coaxing to climb in and get a ride home that time.
‘Well, fancy seeing you,’ she said.
I said, ‘This is Gayle. Now you’ve met the whole gang.’
‘How do you do, very pleased to meet you,’ she said. ‘You got home all right, then? In all that fog? I’ve been wondering about you.’
I said, ‘But we all came by a few