Anne Bennett

Walking Back to Happiness


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seem to like Gloria any more either, but then he didn’t like a lot of people.

      Arthur was resentful about Gloria because he assumed she knew all about Hannah’s past, and had been laughing up her sleeve when she pushed her at him and he took the bait. He’d have liked to have gone up to her house and throttled the names of Hannah’s lovers out of her.

      At the Banks’ house that night, few would have guessed at such thoughts teeming around Arthur’s head. His manner was almost meek and he was politeness itself, solicitous of his wife’s welfare to the extent that Hannah wanted to hammer him with her handbag.

      ‘Are you well, my dear?’ Elizabeth asked when the men had adjourned to the study to discuss business.

      ‘Very well, thank you.’

      ‘And are you excited about the baby?’

      ‘Very,’ Hannah said. ‘Arthur is on at me to give up work, but I don’t want to yet. It’s early days and I would be bored at home. I mean Gloria won’t let me do anything heavy and babies are so expensive.’

      ‘I don’t think you need worry about that, my dear,’ Elizabeth said. ‘Reg has a very inviting proposal to put to your husband.’

      And at that moment, Arthur was staring at his boss, his mouth actually agape. Reg explained his new duties, the office he would have of his own and the secretary he would share, the expense account and the Ford Prefect car that would be at his disposal, plus the hefty rise and bonus scheme.

      ‘I’m … I must admit I’m staggered, sir.’

      ‘You’re a good conscientious worker, Arthur, and I’d like to see you get on. A family man needs a car and babies, children, are expensive little devils.’

      ‘Yes,’ Arthur said. ‘And the money will be useful. I was hoping to engage a nurse when the baby is born, just until Hannah is on her feet.’

      Reg looking at him thought again how he’d misjudged the fellow. Really, he was a husband to be proud of, cock-a-hoop at the thought of becoming a father and considerate and loving towards his wife. ‘You’ll need a first class nursing home too,’ he said. ‘People say the National Health System will be in next year where no one will have to pay for any damn thing, but it won’t be in time for this child’s birth.’

      ‘No, indeed.’

      ‘Book up a good place,’ Reg urged. ‘Early mind, for they fill up quickly. I’ll pick up the tab on that.’

      ‘Oh no, sir,’ Arthur protested. ‘You do enough.’

      ‘Nonsense! Tell you the truth, Elizabeth has really taken to your wife. She would like to think of her being looked after properly. You must let us do this for you,’ Reg said, offering Arthur a cigar.

      Arthur allowed Reg to light the cigar before he spoke. ‘Very well, sir. If that’s what you and Mrs Banks wish to do. But it’s very kind of you and Hannah and I will never forget it.’

      He was aware that though he did work hard, he hadn’t climbed so far or fast in the firm until he brought Hannah to meet his employers. He imagined Elizabeth Banks had great influence over her husband and she’d really taken to Hannah. Not a hint of scandal about the state of their marriage must ever reach their ears and Hannah must realise that. If ever she felt the need to unburden herself to Elizabeth Banks, she would be cutting off her nose to spite her face for they’d all suffer.

      But Arthur needn’t have worried. Hannah was quite embarrassed at the amount she’d told Elizabeth the last time they met and steered the conversation into safer waters. She did tell Elizabeth, though, of her upbringing in Ireland and how she’d been raised by her sister and how she was doing the same for her young orphaned niece.

      ‘And how old is the child?’

      ‘Josie is ten now.’

      ‘And is she pleased about the baby?’

      ‘I haven’t told her yet,’ Hannah confessed. ‘Nine months is a long time. I’ll have to soon of course, pregnancy is something you can’t hide.’

      Elizabeth leant forward and squeezed Hannah’s hand. ‘I envy you, my dear,’ she said. ‘Your first child. You’ll be entering a journey of discovery. Oh, Hannah, I predict you and Arthur have such a rosy future ahead of you.’

      Ah yes, Hannah thought, but was wise enough not to say, ‘But my path is strewn with thorns.’ In fact, she was wise enough to say nothing at all; Elizabeth was quite satisfied with the smile she gave. ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘They’ll be out in a minute and Reg will start roaring for coffee,’ and Hannah followed Elizabeth into the kitchen.

      The first months of Hannah’s pregnancy brought to mind the last time she’d been pregnant and how different it had been. For a start, she’d loved Mike, loved him with all her heart and soul. She had met him in the spring of 1941 at the Hippodrome in Leeds where she’d gone dancing with Tilly, the young northern girl who shared her bedroom. He told her he joined up when he was nineteen and had been one of the lucky ones rescued from the beaches of Dunkirk. But that was the last evening of a very short leave and though Hannah liked the young soldier very much, she wasn’t sure what he thought of her, yet the fact that he was Catholic and of Irish descent like herself had drawn them together. And the man was so handsome, with his blond hair and startling blue eyes. He had full lips and a determined chin and skin slightly tanned from the outdoor life and Hannah readily agreed to write to him.

      However, the letters, which started off in friendship, grew more ardent as Mike and Hannah got to know each other better and when they met, over a year later, Hannah was sure she loved him. But it wasn’t until the summer of 1943, when he was invalided home, that Hannah realised the full strength of her feelings and she knew then that Mike Murphy was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

      Mike’s injuries were serious enough to keep him out of the army for a while, although not life-threatening, and Hannah spent every spare minute that the hotel and hospital would allow, sitting by his side and later at his house, helping him recuperate.

      She’d cried when he’d been declared fit enough to rejoin his unit but was pleased and relieved that he was at a training camp for a few months. Mike told her that he felt they were training for something specific and Hannah declared she didn’t care if he did that till the end of the war. It would suit her fine.

      Then one evening in late January 1944, he held her tight and told her he didn’t think it would be long before his unit’s training would be over and then God alone knew where they’d be sent. Fear clutched at Hannah and Mike comforted her and as their passions took over, neither of them could have stopped the inevitable happening.

      He’d been worried about repercussions of their passion, she remembered, but it was the last day of his leave and they could do nothing about it, but he clutched her tightly before he left and said, ‘Let’s get married, Hannah.’

      ‘Why, yes. We always said …’

      ‘No, no I mean on my next leave,’ he’d urged insistently. ‘I want to keep you safe. What if anything should happen to me? I mean what if you were to become pregnant?’

      Hannah couldn’t bear the look of anxiety on Mike’s face. He had enough to worry about without adding her to his list. ‘It’ll be all right,’ she said confidently. ‘It never happens the first time.’

      ‘Maybe not, but what about the next time, the time after that?’

      ‘Perhaps there won’t be a next time,’ Hannah said with a smile. ‘Do you think I’m some sort of sex maniac?’

      ‘No, but I do know if you love me just half as much as I love you, you’ll be unable to help yourself. No,’ Mike said firmly. ‘I’ve decided. Before