leaning down and switching it on, grateful that it worked. It only lit the room dimly, but enough. On the right-hand wall was a small portable radiator. Between the radiator and bed, a sliding metal door. I tried to open it but, of course, it was locked. Turning to face the way we had entered I wracked my brain, trying to find a way to get things to where they should be, us in bed, at home, dreaming. Shaking the thoughts from my head I moved to the radiator, and thankfully it worked too. We needed to warm up, and quickly. Our pyjamas were not designed for sub-zero temperatures.
I saw something poking out from under the rusting bedframe. Bending to reach for whatever it was I pulled out three old blankets. They smelt of mothballs and years of dust, but it was better than freezing. I lay one on the mattress and moved Tom onto it and wrapped him in the other two.
‘You’ll warm up soon, baby.’
‘Mummy, where are we?’
I looked at him, a fear behind his eyes and I didn’t know what to say.
‘Mummy?’
I couldn’t tell him the truth. I had to protect him from this. If he knew, he would panic, be as scared as I was, and I was frightened what would happen as a result. Somehow, I had to make it all seem like it was a game.
‘We are on an adventure, baby.’
‘An adventure?’
‘Yes.’
‘But I’m scared.’
‘I know. I’m scared too. But that’s a part of it.’
‘Part of what?’
‘A story, this is part of the story.’
‘We’re in a story?’
‘Yes. Yes, that’s it, this is the first chapter.’
‘What’s it called?’
I couldn’t think so I looked around the room, trying to take in something that he would believe. I looked back at him, his sleepy eyes staring into mine, waiting for an answer.
‘It’s called, “Waking Up in the Unknown”.’
‘I like it.’
‘We are the main characters.’
‘Are we?’
‘Yes, baby, me and you.’ And Sean, I quietly whispered to myself, hoping he was all right.
‘What kind of story is it?’
‘An adventure.’
‘It feels like a scary one.’
‘All good adventure stories have a bit of scariness, don’t they? Like, in …’ I paused trying to remember the name of the story he had been reading that I had considered too grown-up for a six-year-old. ‘Wolf Brother. Our story is like Wolf Brother. Remember how scary that is at times’?’
‘Yes.’
‘And do you remember how it all turns out?’
‘Happy.’
‘Exactly. Now can you tell me anything that happens in that book that’s a bit like this?’
I watched as Tom’s fear was replaced with a curiosity as he looked around the room, recalling from his favourite book.
‘There’s a bit where Torak is hiding in a cave?’
‘Yes. Good, that’s really good. Can you remember what the cave looked like?’
‘It was cold.’
‘Yes, anything else?’
‘It was dark too. I remember a bit where he could hardly see.’
‘You could say it was a bit like here, couldn’t you’?’
Tom looked around the room, and after a few seconds his little face lit up with the idea of an adventure. ‘Mummy, is this our cave?’
‘Yes, darling, yes it is,’ I said as relief washed over me. This idea might just work. It might just keep him oblivious to it all. ‘Now, Tom, I need you to listen.’ He stopped looking around the room and turned back to me. His eyes were bloodshot, the drugs still heavy in his system. It broke my heart and I had to swallow to stop myself showing it.
‘This is really important. This is really important for our book.’
‘What is, Mummy?’ he asked, his little body shivering. I sat beside him and pulled him close to me again, my arm wrapped around him, rubbing it to warm him up.
‘Someone might come in here, someone who is a baddy in our story.’
‘A baddy?’ I thought about the sheer size of the man who had pushed us into this space. ‘A bear. Like the one Torak had to face?’
‘The Bear is scary, Mummy.’
I turned to face him, our eyes coming together, and I could see fear in his, so I pulled the blanket over his head to make a hood as I spoke. I hoped this would take the intense edge off what I was saying. Hoped it would numb his fear and numb my own.
‘Yeah, The Bear is scary. But remember, it’s all a part of the story.’
‘Okay, Mummy.’
‘And if The Bear comes in, I want you to hide for me. Under the bed.’
‘All right, Mummy.’
‘And you must be really quiet so The Bear doesn’t hear you.’ I could see fear begin to creep back into my little boy. His face so small under the mound of old blankets. ‘Tom, remember darling, this is all a part of the story.’
‘Why?’
‘Because’ …’ I paused, looking around the room, it’s corners sharp and cold in the low light. ‘Because in later chapters, you hiding is really important to us escaping from The Bear, like Torak did. Now, tell me. What do you do if The Bear comes?’
‘Hide.’
‘Where, Tom, where do you hide?’
‘Under the bed. If The Bear comes I hide under the bed.’
‘Say it again.’
‘If The Bear comes, I hide under the bed.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s really important to the end of the book?’
‘Yes, exactly. Well done. Good boy, you’re such a good boy.’
I leant in and kissed Tom on the head, his arms wrapping around me tightly.
‘Now, darling, lay down, time to get some sleep. Tomorrow we start a brand-new chapter.’
‘I’m still scared, Mummy.’
‘It’s okay, darling, close your eyes and count to ten, and it will all go away.’
‘Can you sing, Mummy?’
He closed his eyes and I watched him for a moment, trying to think of something I could sing to him. Then it came to me. ‘Everything’s all right’ from Jesus Christ Superstar. The same song I sang when he was a tiny baby, crying as his nappy was being changed. The same song I sang when he had a fever, ear ache and chickenpox. And now, the song that I would sing when we were kidnapped. As the words came out, the melody was scratchy, but it seemed to do the trick.
I could feel my eyes begin to fill with tears, and looking at my baby I could see him drift into a worry-free sleep. We had been taken, I didn’t know why, I didn’t know who by, and I didn’t know if I could keep my baby safe from them. I didn’t know if Sean was okay or if Daniel knew what had happened to us. But I couldn’t focus on them now. Now I needed to focus on keeping Tom from harm and how I would get us out of here.