watching Charlie’s back.
‘Is there a reason why we shouldn’t be friends?’ I ask casually.
‘Yes there is, and I quote, “Jay’s an embarrassment and I don’t want any of my friends knowing I associate with morons.”’
I ignore the annoying way he mimics my voice, and keep my head held high. ‘People change.’
‘Last time I said that, you bit my head off,’ he reminds me.
‘That was different, Charlie.’
‘Of course it was. And I’m sure it’s pure coincidence that you’ve decided to contact the one person you know who’s in touch with Lewis again. Correction, two people. I hear Meathead had a similar request.’
The apartment is silent except for the gentle rattle of a bubbling pot. ‘I’m not going to do anything,’ I say at last. ‘I just wanted to know what Lewis was up to so I can stay one step ahead.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t steer yourself onto the same path at all.’
‘He’s the one who came back to Liverpool.’
‘It’s a big city.’
‘But it’s a small world,’ I tell him as my thoughts turn from Lewis to my last call.
‘Don’t get involved,’ Charlie warns. ‘Please, Jen.’
‘Fine!’ I snap before retreating to the bedroom. I shut the door firmly but Charlie opens it again as I’m unbuttoning my shirt.
‘I don’t want you doing something stupid, that’s all.’
‘I’m not going to do anything stupid,’ I reply, my tone abrasive to his soothing words.
Charlie moves closer. ‘You look tired.’
‘I feel it,’ I reply as the last of my strength is carried away with trembling words.
‘Need some help?’ he asks with warmth in his eyes as he takes over undoing my buttons.
My arms drop to my sides. ‘We can live without the sour cream, can’t we?’
‘It’s not a deal breaker.’
His fingers stroke the curve of my breast as he takes hold of my shirt to slip it off my shoulders. When he kisses my neck, he feels my body stiffen and slides his hands to rest comfortably around my back instead.
‘Bad day?’
Rather than answer immediately, I rest my hand on Charlie’s shoulder and step out of my skirt. ‘I feel so helpless sometimes,’ I tell him. ‘We have no way of knowing who’s at the end of the line or what’s going to happen to them once they’ve hung up.’
Charlie sits down on the bed. He’s watching me closely as I begin slipping into my Minnie Mouse pyjamas. ‘A difficult caller?’
‘More like a difficult call,’ I correct him. ‘And I’m still not sure what to think of the caller herself.’
Charlie purses his lips. He knows I can’t talk about the calls we receive so he doesn’t ask. He waits for me to straighten my vest top before pulling me into his arms. I straddle him and cup his face, grateful that I have someone I love and trust.
‘Ruth said something the other day that’s been bugging me,’ I tell him. ‘What happens if we get a call from someone who’s being manipulated the way Meg was?’
‘I thought that was the whole point of the helpline?’
I lower my head until our foreheads touch. ‘It is, but …’ I take a breath. Assuming my leap of faith is correct and Ellie is who I think she is, she could be being abused by Lewis, if not now, then in the future. She asked me not to tell anyone and I won’t, but I can still theorise without breaking that trust. ‘What if one of our calls was from Lewis’s girlfriend?’
Charlie draws back so he can look me in the eye. ‘For a start, I’d say it would be one huge coincidence.’
‘Would it?’ I ask. ‘What if she saw Ruth’s interview? Lewis won’t be the only one who worked out she was talking about him. Why wouldn’t she phone us?’
‘Are you trying to say she has phoned?’
‘No, I’m talking hypothetically,’ I insist. ‘But he does have a girlfriend. I saw a picture of her on Facebook. Did you know?’
‘So that’s what this is about,’ he says with a sigh. ‘Yes, I had heard. Lewis told Jay he met her a few months back when he was buying a present for his sick mum.’
Our eyes lock as he presses the point home. ‘Oh, I see. How stupid of me. Lewis can’t possibly be a threat to women any more because he buys presents for his poorly mum.’
‘I’m not saying that.’
‘Then what are you saying?’ I ask. ‘You think we should turn a blind eye because his mum is sick?’
‘Stop it, Jen. I’m on your side,’ he reminds me.
‘I know,’ I say as I slide off Charlie’s knee and slump down onto the mattress so I can stare at the ceiling instead of his face.
‘All this publicity for the helpline has brought back memories that none of us take pleasure in revisiting,’ Charlie continues. ‘That’s why I didn’t want to add to your worries by telling you Lewis was back home. You’re bound to be paranoid for a while.’
‘Paranoid?’ I could laugh. Actually, no, I could cry. I squeeze my eyes shut to stop myself but the urge intensifies as the mattress dips, rocking me slightly as Charlie lies back too. We’re shoulder to shoulder; two friends trying to make sense of the world and the people in it.
If I try really hard, I can imagine it’s Meg lying next to me. She might not have told me everything but we did talk, and I long to go back to those times in her bedroom when I fretted and she fixed.
‘It’s so lovely and quiet here,’ I’d told her once as we lay sideways across her single bed with our feet dangling over the edge. It was the beginning of summer – our last one before Lewis entered our lives – and we were recharging our batteries after our GCSEs. Unfortunately for me, it had been impossible to find peace at home with one sister back from uni and reclaiming the top bunk in our bedroom, another having practically moved her boyfriend in and the third spending the last months of her pregnancy under Mum’s watchful gaze.
‘It’s too quiet,’ Meg replied.
I’d noticed a certain frostiness between Ruth and Geoff when I’d arrived. Ruth was complaining about the amount of time her husband spent on the golf course and his response had been to pick up his golf clubs and storm out.
‘Is everything OK between Auntie Ruth and Uncle Geoff?’
‘It would be if Mum would stop having a go at Dad all the time. Can’t she see what she’s doing?’ Meg said, letting her arm drop across her face to cover her eyes.
‘You think they’ll get divorced?’ I asked with a gasp as I stared at Meg’s downturned mouth and willed it to stop trembling.
‘They’d have to break up the business if they did that, so no, they’ll just carry on making each other miserable.’
‘As well as you?’
Meg pulled her arm away to stare up at the ceiling. ‘Sean’s so lucky, heading off to uni. I can’t wait till it’s my turn,’ she said.
‘I can’t either. It’ll be the two of us against the world,’ I said, offering her a smile.
Meg didn’t take it. ‘Oh, no,’ she said extending her arm behind her so she could tug at the brightly coloured scarves she kept hanging over her bedpost. Draping crimson silk across her face, she added, ‘You need to find your