David Crystal

As They Say In Zanzibar


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rivers and bad government, the lightest things swim at the top USA

      2 There are many paths to the top of the mountain – but the view is always the same CHINA

      3 When the going is rough, big potatoes come to the top USA

      4 At the bottom of the bag one finds the bill NETHERLANDS

      5 A basket with its bottom burst is useless NIGERIA

      6 Even the bottom of a basket finds something to hold MADAGASCAR

      7 One pebble doesn’t make a floor NIGERIA

      8 If you try to sit on two chairs, you’ll sit on the floor USA

      9 At the foot of the lighthouse it is dark JAPAN

      1 Everything has two handles GREECE

      2 From the midst of the wood the hatchet gets its handle GERMANY

      3 The basket that has two handles can be carried by two EGYPT

      4 A handleless axe does not scare the forest BULGARIA

      5 You cannot hold two water melons in one hand IRAN

      6 A small bed will not hold two persons NIGERIA

      7 A needle cannot hold two threads or a mind two thoughts ETHIOPIA

      8 Whoever holds the ladder is as bad as the thief GERMANY

      9 When you pick up a stick at one end, you also pick up the other end USA

      10 When you have no companion, consult your walking-stick ALBANIA

      1 Failures are the pillars of success WALES

      2 The eyes close in sleep, but the pillow remains awake MALAYSIA

      3 It is not common for hens to have pillows SCOTLAND

      4 The rod that will hang him is still growing IRELAND

      5 All the keys in the land do not hang from one girdle SCOTLAND

      6 Some hang out more than they wash USA

      7 Bread is the staff of life, but the pudding makes a good crutch SCOTLAND

      8 Promise is a bridge of words, unsafe to walk across GERMANY

      1 When the cat’s not home, the mice jump on the table NETHERLANDS

      2 You can’t eat a square meal off a round table USA

      3 At a round table every seat is first GERMANY

      4 If you try to sit on two chairs, you’ll sit on the floor USA

      5 Those who have free seats at a play hiss first CHINA

      6 Don’t be breaking your shin on a stool that’s not in your way IRELAND

      7 One sits best on one’s own bench NORWAY

      8 A good buttock finds a bench for itself ESTONIA

      1 An empty bag cannot stand upright ENGLAND

      2 An empty sack can’t stand, nor a dead cat walk IRELAND

      3 One never falls but on the side towards which one leans FRANCE

      4 Those who place their ladder too steeply will easily fall backwards CZECH REPUBLIC

      5 A low stump upsets the sledge FINLAND

      6 On a level road a small stone upsets the cartload ESTONIA

      7 There’s no such thing as a horse that can’t be rode or a cowboy that can’t be throwed USA

      1 Don’t snap your fingers at the dogs before you are outside the village FRANCE

      2 A gardener’s flirtations take place outside the garden AFGHANISTAN

      3 The candle is put into the lantern and the moth is left outside fluttering IRAN

      4 There’s more room outside than inside CANADA

      5 The shell is needed till the bird is hatched RUSSIA

      6 Do not fill your basket with useless shells of coconuts KENYA

      7 The beauty of the corn cob is apparent on the inside only KENYA

      8 When hunger gets inside you, nothing else can NIGERIA

      9 The sun cannot shine into an inverted bowl CHINA

      10 Those who come too late find the platter turned over NETHERLANDS

      11 A frog beneath a coconut shell believes there is no other world MALAYSIA

      12 There’s more room outside than inside CANADA

      1 The highest hill is usually covered with clouds SCOTLAND

      2 Every cloud has a silver lining ENGLAND

      3 If one finger is gashed, all the fingers are covered with blood REPUBLIC OF CONGO

      4 If you go to the wedding you cover up the sledge ESTONIA

      5 The one who was surprised by a turtle is surprised by a pot cover KOREA

      6 One generation plants the trees; another gets the shade CHINA

      7 Big tree but no shade PHILIPPINES

      8 The woman who sells fans often shades her eyes with her hands CHINA

      9 Send your charity abroad wrapped in blankets ENGLAND

      10 That which is said at table should be wrapped up in the tablecloth ITALY

      11 Paper can’t wrap up a fire CHINA

      1 Even a silk shirt only clothes a naked body GERMANY

      2 Those whose mother is naked are not likely to clothe their aunt SUDAN

      3 New clothes have no lice NAMIBIA

      4 Dress slowly when you are in a hurry FRANCE

      5 Those who have two garments do not wear one only ZANZIBAR

      6 Only God helps the ill-dressed SPAIN

      7 People sell their rags in their own market EGYPT

      8 The more naked the jackal the larger the tail SOUTH AFRICA

      9 Clothes put on while running come off while running ETHIOPIA

      1 You must go behind the door to mend old breeches ENGLAND

      2 A protector is like a cloak HAITI

      3 The borrowed cloak never warms SYRIA

      4 Hunger doesn’t say, ‘Stale bread,’ and cold doesn’t say ‘Old coat.’ GEORGIA

      5 When someone’s coat is threadbare, it is easy to pick a hole in it ENGLAND

      6 Cut your coat according to your cloth ENGLAND

      7 One spot spots the whole dress BELGIUM

      8 The forest is the poor person’s fur-coat ESTONIA

      9 A padded jacket is an acceptable gift, even in summer JAPAN

      10 Raindrops can’t tell broadcloth from jeans USA

      11 A cat with mittens won’t catch mice SCOTLAND

      12 Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve CHINA

      13 Habit is a shirt that we wear till death RUSSIA

      14 Even a silk shirt only clothes a naked body GERMANY

      15 Never trust a fellow that