Here’s Looking At You. Mhairi McFarlane

research suggests people start skimming after 150,’ James said, tapping his pen on his pad.

      ‘Well, what does actors titting about really add? Do people need reminding what people look like? We haven’t evolved significantly since Theodora and Justinian. They didn’t have prehensile features.’

      James blinked.

      ‘It’s a way of making the artefacts more vivid. The emphasis with what we do is on the experiential.’

      Experiential. These people always brought their made-up words.

      ‘No, I mean it’ll get in the way of looking at the mosaics, which are the point of the thing aren’t they?’ Anna said. ‘Won’t it mean visitors spend their time playing on video games, instead of looking at the exhibits?’

      James put his head on one side and made a ‘trying to find a respectful way to answer a question I think is stupid’ face.

      ‘It’s an “as well as” not an “instead of”. To help people visualise the world and bring the scene alive. We’ll tag the videos to objects so people can choose to watch the sequences if they’re interested.’ James paused. ‘It’s a modern way of engaging visitors.’

      ‘Ah, that’s the thing about history. It’s not modern.’

      ‘But the people going to see this are. Are you doing without electricity as well?’

      James only half-phrased this as a joke and all the backs in the room stiffened. Except for Parker’s.

      ‘The point of the app is that it’s something different to the exhibition itself, something that complements it,’ James said, aiming for an air of finality.

      ‘I don’t understand why the emphasis is on recreating stuff that isn’t there, to distract people from stuff that is there. It’s as if the artefacts aren’t interesting enough in themselves.’

      ‘It’s about narrative. People are principally going to be interested in Theodora as a person, right? She’s the focus of the exhibition. Along with Justinian. They’re the story.’ James was matching Anna in vigour now. It was that kind of terse politeness that strained at the leash to romp into full-blown rude.

      ‘Yes but that’s not to turn the show into a Ye Olde Posh and Becks power couple.’

      ‘Justinian Bieber,’ Parker said, guffawing. Everyone in the room dead-eyed him.

      ‘We’re coming at this from different angles but our aims are the same,’ John intervened. ‘Wait until you see it, Anna. The Royal Manuscripts app was really something, I’ll get James to show it to you.’

      James nodded. Anna simmered.

      ‘We’re drawing up some questions on the themes of the exhibition, to help us develop our side in line with your vision for the key messages of the show.’

      Key messages! Like it was an ad campaign. Buy Zantium! That’s all these digital gits were, Anna thought. Advertisers, with a big shiny social media sheen pasted over the top. Might as well be flogging chamois leathers as the artefacts of the sixth century. James Fraser did look like Don Draper from Mad Men.

      James cleared his throat. ‘We were playing around with a “medieval bling” theme for the digital pre-launch presence …’

      ‘Bling?’ Anna said, her intonation holding the word between finger and thumb, at arm’s length.

      ‘Yes …’ James said, but this time had the decency to look embarrassed.

      ‘You know, bling, like, big rocks, baller ass, fly, dope …’ Parker began.

      ‘We were thinking it was an accessible way to represent the wealth of the period,’ James cut in, desperately. ‘Obviously we can work on this in tandem with you.’

      ‘The “whore” angle is strong for grabbing attention, but causes problems with your younger, school age demographic,’ Parker said, in a solemn tone that made it sound as if he was quoting someone else.

      School. Anna’s throat tightened.

      ‘We’ve been throwing ideas around, nothing’s set in stone,’ James said.

      ‘Not sure about the use of the word “whore” really,’ John the curator said, mildly. ‘It’s a bit of a value judgement about a female.’

      ‘Yes. It’s not as if you’d ever call a show Genghis Khan: Mongol Warlord, Massive Shagger