a little behind with a few things, that’s all. I’ll see you soon.’ She hung up before he could start anything resembling a conversation. She wasn’t really in the mood, not now.
‘You okay?’
‘I’m fine, Ronnie.’ Amber slid her phone back into her jeans pocket. ‘Where did you spring from, anyway? I thought you were up in the studio.’
‘I was. But they’ve sorted out that lighting problem now. You ready to get out of here?’
Amber fell into step beside him as they made their way through the ground and back up to the studio that had been set up for the live broadcast of tomorrow’s match.
‘Almost. I just want to check over a few things before I go.’
‘What things?’ Ronnie asked, frowning slightly. ‘You’re all but done; you should be heading home now.’
‘Ryan’s bringing Rico with him. He’s got to come here to join the rest of the team before they head off for the hotel, so…’
‘What’s going on, Amber?’ Ronnie stopped walking and leaned back against the wall, folding his arms, his eyes meeting hers, even though she was trying anything she could to avoid looking directly at him.
‘Nothing’s going on.’
‘Cut the crap and talk to me. Come on, I’m your best friend and I know when you’ve got something on your mind. Or should that be someone? Actually, come to think of it, maybe it should be Ryan you’re talking to. I’m no fan of his, as you well know, but that doesn’t mean I agree with you stringing the guy along.’
‘No one’s stringing anyone along.’
Ronnie just arched an eyebrow.
‘Jesus Christ…’ Amber sighed, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘I don’t know.’ She leaned back against the wall beside Ronnie. ‘I can’t stop thinking about him.’
‘Then you need to do something about that.’
‘Like what?’
‘How the hell should I know?’
Amber turned her head to look at Ronnie. ‘This is ridiculous. I’m a frigging mess.’
‘Your life is a mess.’
‘Thanks for that.’
‘Do you want me to lie to you?’
‘No.’
‘Then deal with the truth.’
‘I love you, too.’
He looked at her. ‘I’m not doing this to be cruel, Amber. But you really need to get this sorted. You’ve got a child now. You’ve got someone other than yourself to think about.’
‘I’m aware of that.’ Her eyes locked with his. ‘I thought I loved him, Ronnie. I really thought I did. Or that I could, again. I thought it would all come back, all those feelings, and I thought I’d just fall in love with him all over again.’
‘I don’t think you’ve ever loved Ryan Fisher. Not really.’
‘Hang on. You don’t know…’
‘Amber, I do. I do know. And I don’t think you ever really loved him.’
Amber looked down at the floor, scraping her heel against the skirting board. ‘He’s never going to go away, is he? Jim. He’s never going to go away.’
‘Not if you don’t want him to.’
She looked back up at Ronnie. ‘He doesn’t want me any more.’
‘And he’s told you that, has he?’
‘He divorced me, Ronnie. What more proof do I need?’
‘That means nothing where you two are concerned.’
‘He doesn’t want me any more,’ Amber repeated, staring back down at the floor. ‘The way he’s acting. I saw him just now and… He doesn’t want me, Ronnie. It’s over.’ She threw her head back and let out a heavy sigh, one that wracked her entire body. ‘Okay.’ She took a long, deep breath, shaking her hair out before pushing both hands through it. ‘It’s time to grow up and do the only thing I can do right now.’
Ronnie frowned slightly. ‘And what’s that, exactly?’
Her eyes met his again, and this time there was a look of determination that he hadn’t seen from her in a while. ‘I’m moving to London.’
‘London.’ Ryan looked at her as though she’d suddenly started talking in a foreign language. ‘You’re moving to London? And you’re telling me this now? An hour before frigging kick-off?’
‘I don’t want to move to London…’
‘Then why the hell are you going? Jesus, Amber…’
‘Because I have to, Ryan. I have to.’
He stared at her, his dark eyes boring deep into hers. ‘You have to.’
‘I have to,’ she repeated, her voice quiet but steady. Surprisingly so. ‘I can’t stay here, Ryan. I can’t do it any more.’
Ryan took a couple of steps back, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘I fucking hate it when I’m right.’
Amber frowned, folding her arms against herself. ‘Sorry?’
His eyes were back on hers, wide and full of something Amber couldn’t quite read. ‘You and Jim. It isn’t ever gonna be over, is it?’
What could she say to that? ‘He doesn’t want me, Ryan.’
Ryan laughed, turning away from her for a brief second or two. ‘Jesus… you really believe that, do you? You really believe he doesn’t want you?’ He turned back to face her. ‘I want you, Amber. Me. I love you, do you know that? Do you know just how much I love you?’
‘Ryan…’
‘But it isn’t ever gonna be enough. Not while he’s still around. Nobody else stands a fucking chance.’
‘It doesn’t have to be this way, Ryan.’
‘Oh, really? It doesn’t, huh? You’ve just told me you’re taking my son to the other end of the country, Amber. He’s three months old and you’re taking him away from me.’
‘I’m not taking him away from you…’
‘Yes. You are. If you’re living down there I can’t see him every day. I can’t just pop round and hold him, or rock him to sleep or feed him. I can’t do that if you’re hundreds of miles away.’
‘And you know as well as I do, Ryan, that I will be up here almost as much as I am now.’
‘And that’s good for Rico, is it? Being dragged up and down the country just because you can’t get your fucking head straight.’
‘I’m not listening to this…’
He reached out and grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face him. ‘You won’t even give us a chance, Amber.’ His voice was softer now, almost pleading in tone. ‘If you really believe he doesn’t want you then why don’t you just move on and give us a chance?’
She looked at him, her eyes staring deep into his even though meeting his gaze was the last thing she really wanted to do.
‘We have a baby together, Amber. A baby. Our son. How incredible is that, huh?’
‘And