is now, hurting the ones he loves and seemingly hell-bent on destroying himself. One minute he’s all fired up at going to America, and now it’s as though he has to destroy every chance they’ve got of starting a new life. I’ve tried to reason with him, but he just walks away. He won’t listen to me.’
Reaching out, he took Lucy’s hand into his. ‘Happen he’ll talk to you,’ he said, patting the back of her hand. ‘Happen you’ll get through to him where I can’t.’ In the half-light he smiled on her, trying not to show the love he felt. She was his good friend, and he was not prepared to spoil that by speaking his heart.
Suspecting nothing of his true feelings, Lucy gave him a nudge. ‘Here they are now,’ she said. The family emerged from the house; Vicky and Susie first, then the two sons. Huddled together, they set off on foot in the other direction, along the lane and on towards Leonard Maitland’s house, The Manse. ‘We’ll give it another minute or so and then you’d best go in,’ Adam said. ‘D’you think he’ll open the door to you?’
Lucy smiled secretly. Reaching into her handbag, she drew out the key to Overhill Farmhouse. ‘I never thought to give this back after I stayed there once,’ she told him. ‘I knew it would be more polite to knock, but like you say, he might see me out of the window and be gone through the back door. So I shall just let myself in.’ She did not like the idea of doing it, but saw no other way.
Climbing out of the car, Lucy softly closed the door and approached the house. She could see Barney through the window; slouched in his chair he was leaning forward, deep in thought and looking lost.
Concentrating on what she was doing, she slipped the key into the lock, opened the door and went inside; and because she did not want to alarm him, she deliberately made a noise as she came towards the sitting room.
‘Who’s there?’ Barney’s voice sailed through the house. ‘Vicky! Is that you?’
When suddenly he was standing before her, his face fell with astonishment. ‘Lucy! What the devil are you doing here? How did you get in?’
‘Sorry if I frightened you.’ When Lucy now took a step forward, Barney took a step back. ‘Please, Barney. We need to talk.’
‘I don’t want to talk. Go away, and leave me be.’ Seeing her there and knowing how, like the rest of his beloved family, she was worried out of her mind, he so much wanted to take her in his arms and open his heart to her. But if he did, then all of this would have been for nothing. ‘How did you get in? Did Vicky let you in, is that it? Did she think you might get me to tell you things I can’t tell her?’ His eyes bright with tears, he lowered his sorry gaze to the floor.
‘Vicky doesn’t know I’m here,’ she told him. ‘Look! I still have my key.’ She laid it on the coat-stand. ‘There. I’ve returned it now.’
As she walked towards him, he barred her path, his shoulders squared tall and his face blank, with no expression. ‘I don’t need you here. I want you to go.’
Now, as Lucy stared him in the eye, he looked away, as though he could not bear to see the pain and anxiety in her face. ‘I said I want you to leave. Now!’
Lucy refused. ‘You’ll have to throw me out, Barney.’
The man was in anguish; he wanted to tell her the truth, but he daren’t. He couldn’t.
‘Talk to me, Barney.’ Laying her hand on his arm, she thrilled at his nearness, but for now all she wanted was to make him at peace, to let him know that he was not on his own. ‘Why are you doing all of this?’ Her voice was like silk to his ears. ‘You were always such a kind and loving man, concerned about other people’s feelings. You’re not a drunk, or a bad man. You’re a worker and a fighter. You risked your own life to save my baby and you were my strength afterwards. Was it that night, Barney? Was it because of what happened to little Jamie?’ Her voice broke. ‘You said it yourself – there was nothing we could have done. It was too late, Barney … all too late.’
When she paused, choking back the pain of remembering, Barney looked up. He was so ashamed. ‘How are you now, Lucy?’ His voice was merely a whisper, but it came from the heart.
Looking up with bright eyes and a sorry smile, she told him, ‘I’m coping, Barney. But I’m so worried about you … we all are. What is it? What’s wrong? You have to let me help. You have to let us all help.’
She could sense that he was weakening, when suddenly the front door was pushed open and in walked a woman, tall and attractive, with wild hair and a ruddy complexion, and the smell of booze about her. ‘You shouldn’t leave your door open of a night-time,’ she quipped. ‘And who might this be, Barney? I know it’s not your wife because you told me she’d be out with the family.’
‘Jesus!’ Thrusting Lucy aside he took hold of the woman by the arm. ‘What the hell are you doing here, and drunk into the bargain!’
She smiled. ‘I remembered you saying your family were going out and that I should come and pay a call on you if ever I was passing. Well, I might not have been passing, but I’m here now, and I’ve brought us some cheer.’ Holding up a bottle of sherry, she taunted him with it. ‘If you don’t want to stay here, we can always go to my place. I’ve got a car outside.’ Staggering sideways, she almost lost her balance. ‘The driver is an old friend of mine …’ she gave a wink ‘… if you know what I mean?’
About to throw her out into the night, Barney stopped himself. No! This might be his best chance. Just now, Lucy had almost got him to confide in her, and if his unwelcome visitor hadn’t turned up, he might well had said things he regretted. And that would have been a disaster.
‘She’s the woman I saw you with in Liverpool.’ Lucy was shocked and angry. ‘Ask her to leave, Barney. She’s tainting Vicky’s lovely home.’
Enraged, the woman made a grab for her. Barney stepped between them. Turning on Lucy he sounded like a stranger. ‘Good night, Lucy. I don’t want to see you again. You can leave now.’
Lucy was taken aback. ‘You don’t mean that?’
He gave a slow, affirmative nod. ‘Thank you for coming here tonight, but I don’t need your help.’
Lucy could have argued with him, but there would have been no point. Instead she reached up and, placing her hands on his shoulders, she kissed him on the cheek. ‘Think what you’re doing, Barney,’ she pleaded quietly. ‘We all love you so much.’
For what seemed an age he looked at her, and just for the briefest moment she really believed he was listening. Then he took her by the arm and led her to the door, where he pushed her unceremoniously onto the outer step. One hard, appealing stare, and then he closed the door.
As she walked down the path, Lucy could hear their laughter. ‘May God forgive you, Barney Davidson,’ she whispered.
Climbing into the car she sat for a moment, unsure what to do.
‘I saw the woman.’ Adam’s voice interrupted her thoughts. ‘I wondered if I should come in, and then I thought it best not to.’
‘If you’d come in, it would only have made matters worse.’
‘What about the woman?’
Lucy shook her head. ‘She’s the one he’s been seeing. He’s got her in there now, and he’s not in the mood for talking.’ She turned to him, a sad little smile on her face. ‘He almost confided in me,’ she revealed. ‘If that woman hadn’t arrived, he would have talked, I know he would.’
They sat a moment longer; Adam feeling as though he should go in there and throw her out, and Lucy thinking how low Barney had sunk.
‘What’s wrong with him, Adam?’ she asked now. ‘Why is he doing this?’
Adam didn’t know any more than she did, although a suspicion lurked at the back of his head. ‘Maybe we didn’t know him as well as we thought we did,’ he