know…I don’t want to embarrass Stephen, Mom. He means well.’
‘Well this way you won’t. But later when you’re by yourselves, or tomorrow if you see him, you can talk it over with him quietly. Leave him in no doubt that you can’t accept it…Quick, though – let’s have a look at it before you give it him back.’
Mother and daughter grinned cannily at each other and Maxine opened again the small cube to show Lizzie the ring.
Lizzie gasped. ‘My God, it’s a great big amethyst…and in a cluster of diamonds. Oh, it’s beautiful, our Maxine. It must have cost him a fortune. Put it on and let’s see what it looks like…’ It fitted perfectly of course. ‘Oh, it’s absolutely beautiful.’
Maxine sighed. ‘What a pity…I can’t keep it, can I?…Should I keep it, do you think, Mom?’ She smiled, seduced by the magnificence of the ring adorning her long, slender finger. ‘I mean, it doesn’t mean I’m going to get married, does it?’
Lizzie gave her a knowing look. ‘You can’t have it both ways, my flower. Engagement is a serious betrothal – a binding promise to marry. If you don’t intend to marry the lad, you mustn’t accept his ring.’
‘But I think I’ll keep it on to show everybody. It is beautiful, isn’t it? He’s such a good designer.’
‘If you show it to everybody, they’ll take it as you’re engaged. Then they’ll want to know if you’ve named the day. You’d best make your mind up if that’s what you really want, our Maxine.’
After the party, Maxine accompanied Stephen when he drove Lizzie and Jesse back home to the dairy house where they lived in Dudley. The ride was distinguished by the stilted conversation. Jesse had already been discreetly advised that Maxine’s ‘engagement’ was not entirely in accordance with her wishes and this inhibited any mention of it; but now, all other topics seemed like laboured small talk. So it was with some relief that Maxine parted company with Lizzie that night, with of course, the customary kiss and mutual instructions to look after themselves.
On the way back to Ladywood, Maxine and Stephen remained unspeaking for some minutes, till Maxine decided this problem should be sorted out, and the sooner the better; and that she should get in the first thrust.
‘Why did you give me this ring, Stephen, when you knew perfectly well I didn’t want to get engaged?’ she began calmly. ‘It was so embarrassing. What did you expect me to do?’
‘It was a calculated risk,’ he answered honestly, avoiding her eyes by fixing his on the glinting tram lines that sometimes made the car veer one way then the other if the narrow tyres became tracked by them. ‘I risked my hand believing you wouldn’t make a fool of me by handing it back – not in full view of everybody, at any rate.’
‘Well you were right about that. But, Stephen, I can’t believe it. We only discussed all this a week ago. I told you then that I didn’t want to get engaged. Do we have to go through it all again? What do I have to say to make you understand?’
‘Oh, I do understand, Maxine,’ he replied, and stroked her knee affectionately with his left hand.
She didn’t like that but she tolerated it, as long as his hand did not presume to wander higher. Why did she not enjoy being touched by Stephen? And he wanted her to marry him and do all those disgusting things he’d mentioned?
‘So why did you do it?’ she pressed.
‘Because I want to make you my own. I thought that if you didn’t refuse it then, then you would have accepted it – full stop – in the eyes of everybody there. I thought you would have committed yourself by not refusing it. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?’
‘But it can’t work like that, Stephen. I have to agree to it. Don’t you see?’
‘I just thought you would. I just thought that giving you the ring openly, with everybody watching, would sort of…’
‘Coerce me?…I think that’s the word. But coercion won’t work with me, Stephen.’ She took the ring off her finger and slipped it into the top pocket of his jacket. ‘There. If you’re that keen on getting engaged offer it to somebody else.’
Stephen was angered by that. He stopped the car abruptly and switched off the engine.
‘Maxine,’ he said indignantly, ‘I want you. Nobody else. Now I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you with my offer of marriage, but it was sincere. I can’t help being in love with you. I can’t help the way I feel.’
‘But you seem to have no understanding or appreciation of how I feel, Stephen. Is that why you lost the last girl you were engaged to? By not considering her feelings?’
That struck a chord, Maxine could tell. He’d never offered any explanation as to why his previous entanglement with Evelyn had failed, and she had never pressed him for one. It seemed irrelevant to them.
‘I’m sorry, Maxine,’ he said quietly, and sighed like a football being deflated, as if resigned to the situation at last. Perhaps he saw that if he persisted with this he was going to lose her altogether. ‘No more talk of engagements then, eh?’
She shrugged indifferently. ‘I’m not even sure that I want to carry on seeing you.’
‘Maxine!’ He felt a cold shiver run down his spine in his panic. He couldn’t lose her. He mustn’t lose her. ‘Maxine don’t say that. Please don’t say that.’
‘Well it’s true, Stephen. I’m not in love with you. I don’t think I’ll ever fall in love with you.’
‘That doesn’t matter.’
‘Of course it matters.’
‘No,’ he said resolutely. ‘It doesn’t matter at all, because love will come. In time, you will come to love me. Such things happen all the time. I can wait. I’m quite happy to wait.’
‘I think you’ll be waiting for ever.’
‘Don’t say that, Maxine. Look, let’s just go on as we were, eh? I promise I won’t mention marriage or getting engaged again.’
She sighed, a heavy, frustrated sigh; Stephen was not going to be easy to shake off. ‘I don’t know…Do you want to know the truth, Stephen? I feel trapped with you. You don’t give me any space. You don’t allow me any time to myself, or time with any other friends – even with Pansy, your own sister. You want to see me every night of the week when I don’t want to see you. You don’t give me time to practise my cello even, when I need to practise on my own. When I need to stay in and practise you still come round. What do you think I’m going to do when you’re not there? Run off with somebody else? It’s as if you don’t trust me.’
‘Of course I trust you.’
‘You don’t…because you assume I’m like you. You’re judging me by your own standards.’
‘Maxine, I never realised…I never knew you felt that way,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘If that’s what you want, that’s all right by me. I won’t see you every night.’
‘So let’s make it just two nights a week.’
‘Three,’ he pressed.
‘Two, or nothing at all…And I choose which two.’ She could not help but smile to herself. She knew he had to agree or lose her. She had no wish to hurt him or belittle him but she needed space; more now than ever before; and if it cost her his friendship, then so be it. ‘Oh…And no more opening the car door for me. Or any other damned door for that matter. I can do that on my own – if you don’t mind.’
‘Agreed…’