Nothing and no one could rouse her.
I learned of her death at Richmond Palace. Mother passed on her thirty-eighth birthday. Henry wailed for her; he had always been her pet and only my little sister, Mary, could comfort him. My father shut himself away and would see no one.
Mother was dead. In the space of a year I had lost my treasured two brothers, a sister, and now my guide, my light, my mother. What would I do without her? No matter how afraid I had been about the prospect of removing to Scotland, I had always derived a sense of security in the knowledge that she would be in England. She would write to me and advise me. She would counsel me when I became with child and from her I would learn the art of being a true queen. Once again I was cheated; once again another family member was called to God while I remained behind scrambling to figure out why.
We took to Westminster to hear her requiem mass. Grandmother wrapped her arms about Henry’s and Mary’s shoulders, drawing them close to her small, strong frame, her countenance resolute, determined as always. She had seen death before, many times. It had lost its effect.
I sat alone. My beloved Archbishop Morton, one of the few in whom I would have been able to confide my grief, now also waited for Mother in the next world as well. I had not allowed myself to grow fond of the new one, Warham, who locked eyes with me and offered a sad smile I could not return.
Upon the conclusion of the service I proceeded down the Long Gallery of Westminster. At once it was as though I were swallowed up by the vastness of this hall, which in itself was a small place compared to the whole of England and the wilds of Scotland. And yet I was a queen, which wasn’t small at all, and that must account for something. Would anyone remember me hundreds of years from then?
Would anyone remember my mother, herself so small and fair?
I removed to my father’s apartments. I needed to find some assurance in my remaining parent, the king.
The guards fixed me with stern gazes. ‘The king will see no one,’ one told me.
‘I am his daughter,’ I responded. ‘He will see me.’
The guard shook his head, his mouth drawn into a thin, grim line. ‘His orders are explicit: He will see no one.’
‘Great God in heaven, are We not the Queen of Scots! Has not one sovereign the right to see another? You will obey Us,’ I ordered, squaring my shoulders. ‘Or face the displeasure of Our country! We doubt you want to be responsible for a national incident!’
Startled, the men exchanged glances, then after a moment’s more hesitation stood aside to permit me entrance. The instant I strode into my father’s chambers I lost all confidence. My strong, measured steps became tiny and soft. I approached my father, who sat at his writing table, his head buried in his hands. I had never seen him thus; this was a man who never allowed for vulnerability. There was no time for it. He had a throne to secure, a treasury to fill, a country’s confidence to win. There was no time to be faint of heart.
Now he sat before me broken, his long face drawn. He had been crying; tears stained his weathered cheeks. At once my breath caught. I had never seen him cry before.
‘Your Grace …’ I said, bowing my head and curtsying. ‘I am sorry … I did not mean to burst in.’
‘I must say it was well done,’ he commented, offering a sad half smile.
We gazed at each other a moment, immobilised by sorrow. I could not lament to him as I did to Mother; there was no railing against the fates or questioning God. We faced each other, two monarchs, and would address our grief with dignity, not drama.
‘I came to comfort you,’ I said in soft tones.
‘My comfort will be in this alliance,’ he told me, extending his hand. I took it. It was so large that mine was made invisible when enfolded within it. ‘Be a good queen, Margaret, as your mother was. Beget many sons. And remember: You are a daughter of England before you are a wife to Scotland. Do whatever it takes to ensure peace between our kingdoms.’
‘I shall,’ I promised, forcing strength into my voice as I swallowed my tears. I was determined to face him with stateliness. ‘I shall honour my mother’s memory and do you proud.’
Father rose. He rested his hands on my shoulders. ‘You have.’ He leaned forward and very gently kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, revelling in the newfound bond between monarchs, vowing to be every inch the queen my mother was while encompassing the strength of my father, the founder of this Tudor dynasty.
Father whiled away his hours in the White Tower, absorbed in the decorating of the new chapel off Westminster Abbey in which Mother was entombed. It was a magnificent structure, its spires stretching toward heaven, its elaborate stained-glass windows depicting scenes of Christ’s life in vivid detail. Despite its splendour, never was the thought far from my mind that it was a tomb. This was where my father planned to lay himself down, and as he worked, so diligent in his attention to every facet of the imposing building, I feared he planned to yield to his eternal rest sooner than later. Mother’s death had aged him; every act of state became an effort. It was enough for him to get through the daily task of living.
Henry was given his own household resplendent with every luxury. He had companions by the score, the best tutors and priests. Father would prepare him the way of a king. But Father did not offer his own hand that he might lead him. Henry, who was ever a candle to Arthur’s flaming torch, remained as alienated from Father as before. Father could not seem to give of himself any more. He was not cold; he was not cruel. He was silent, isolated, and immobile, save for what must get done. He would keep England as peaceful and powerful as possible while remaining true to his cautious and frugal nature by filling the treasury in the hopes that his son and his country would never be left wanting.
One way of maintaining peace was through the Anglo-Scots alliance. Father determined it was then prudent for me to be sent to my husband in the north.
I panicked. I was not yet fourteen; the treaty expressly stated that I was not to leave England until I was fourteen! But travelling to Scotland after November was a fool’s journey. No one wanted to battle the cold and it was this point that convinced me of the necessity of an earlier arrival. As it was I would reach Edinburgh by August.
Everything was arranged. I would be accompanied by a glittering entourage of liveried guards, attendants, courtiers, and servants. Carts of gowns and plate completed the baggage train and I smiled through my rising sense of despair.
‘You leave England a princess to enter Scotland a queen,’ said my little sister, Mary, squeezing my hands as I bid farewell at Richmond.
I blinked back tears as I took the little girl in my arms, wondering when I would see her again. I drew back, stroking her golden hair from her face. What was her fate, then? What kingdom would she be sent to? Would any of us who shared the nursery together see each other again?
I left her with a kiss, that I might promenade in the gardens alone with Henry arm in arm in an effort to extend my farewell as long as I could.
‘Are you afraid, Henry?’ I asked him in soft tones.
Henry laughed. ‘Afraid of what, Sister?’
‘Of being king,’ I finished with a sigh.
He stopped walking. ‘I suppose I am.’ ‘I want people to respect me and fear me,’ he said, then in softer tones added, ‘but I want them to like me, too. Are you afraid, Margaret?’
I nodded. ‘I know it isn’t