sound?’
‘It sounds fantastic,’ said Saffron eagerly. ‘You are sent from heaven to solve all my problems. I would never have thought of that on my own.’
‘Aaah,’ said Amy. ‘I have been wanting to set up my own business for ages, so I’ve done a lot of planning over the years. And I’ve got a couple of weeks till my supply teaching starts, so I’ve got time at the moment.’
Before she knew it, Amy was also agreeing to go and price a job with Saffron the following Tuesday, once the kids were at school. It was just what she needed to move her life forward. She couldn’t wait to get started.
So, a little later, humming to the tune playing on the radio, she was cheerfully busying herself in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Puzzled, she went to answer it. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and although Harry had taken to popping in from time to time to borrow some milk or play a game with Josh, she knew he had gone out to see friends today. She had been enjoying his avuncular concern. He was an easy person to be around, and it did Josh good to have a grandfatherly figure about. They often spent time with Harry at the weekends, taking the odd walk, going for pub lunches. Despite her differences with Mary, Amy recognised she had lost a useful support system, and Harry was doing a good job of plugging the gap.
She opened the door, and nearly passed out.
‘Mary! What a surprise!’ She hoped the shock in her face wasn’t too obvious. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see Mary, but it would have been nice to have had some prior warning.
‘Well, I was coming to visit my sister in Romford,’ said Mary, in rather stiff tones, ‘so I thought I’d pop in to see how you were both doing. I hope you don’t mind.’ Romford to Nevermorewell was a good hour and a half. Something told Amy this wasn’t a spontaneous visit.
‘Mind? Of course I don’t mind,’ lied Amy, hoping the house wasn’t too untidy. ‘It’s lovely to see you. Josh, look who’s here!’
Josh, who had been playing with his train set in the front room, came diving out when he heard Mary’s voice.
‘Granneeee!’ he shrieked in delight, and flung himself at her.
Amy was relieved to see the pleasure in Mary’s face when she hugged her grandson. After all, it wasn’t really Amy she had come to see. And whether or not Amy cared to admit it, by moving away from Mary, she had taken away from her mother-in-law all that was left of Jamie. Josh, too, seemed ecstatic to see his grandmother. Amy had been fretting that he had seemed very quiet since the move. Now, seeing him so natural with Mary, she realised he hadn’t been his normal self. The old guilt welled up inside her, threatening to engulf the good feelings and bring her right back to square one. Mary’s next comment didn’t help much either.
‘Oh, I have missed you both!’ she said. ‘The house seems so quiet without you. No chance that you’ll change your mind, I suppose?’
‘We’ve only just got here,’ said Amy, trying to laugh it off and ignore the feelings of resentment the remark engendered.
‘Granny could come and live here,’ suggested Josh.
‘I don’t think that’s going to be possible, Josh,’ said Mary. She glanced at Amy, as if to say, is it?
Amy tried to ignore that comment too. The last thing she wanted right now was to have Mary round the corner again, even if she wanted to move out this way. And as they sat politely sipping their tea, Amy was suddenly struck by the gulf that had grown between them. It had only been a few weeks, but already she and Mary were strangers in this new environment; and yet, after Jamie’s death they had seemed so close. Irritated as she was by Mary, Amy couldn’t bear to lose that, and for Josh’s sake it wasn’t fair. So she asked suitable questions about Mary’s life and filled her in on their own doings. And then Josh mentioned Ben.
‘And who’s Ben?’ asked Mary. ‘One of your little play-mates?’
‘Oh no,’ said Josh in disgusted tones. ‘Ben’s well old. As old as Mummy.’
‘And?’ Mary looked askance at Amy.
‘And what?’ said Amy. ‘Ben’s someone I met on the allotments.’
‘Yes, and Mummy borrowed his clothes and he lent me his Spiderman DVD when we were at his house. He’s really cool.’
‘I see,’ said Mary testily.
No, you don’t, Amy wanted to reply, but restrained herself.
‘Yes, it was a bit embarrassing really,’ said Amy, wondering why she felt the need to justify herself. ‘I had a problem with the plumbing and then I got a bit mucky on the allotments so he lent me some clothes. I barely know him.’ She was aware she was gabbling. She was further aware that the more she gabbled, the more sceptically Mary looked at her.
‘Well, I suppose it was inevitable that you would find a new man one day,’ said Mary, ‘but I have to say I’m surprised that you’re rushing things.’
Amy blushed, immediately furious with herself for doing so. She had nothing to be embarrassed about or apologise for.
‘Mary, I don’t have a new man,’ she said. ‘He’s just someone who helped me out.’
‘If you say so,’ said Mary.
‘No, really,’ said Amy. ‘There is absolutely nothing going on between us, and even if there were, I don’t really see that it’s any of your business.’
The words were out before she could stop them, and she cursed herself when she saw the look on Mary’s face. It was as though Amy had punched her in the stomach.
‘Mary, I didn’t mean – that came out wrong,’ Amy began.
‘Your meaning was perfectly clear,’ said Mary. ‘It’s all right, I won’t stay where I’m not wanted.’
‘Mary!’ cried Amy, but Mary didn’t reply. Giving Josh a brief hug, she picked up her things, then was out of the door and gone.
‘Why didn’t Granny stay?’ Josh wanted to know.
‘She was in a bit of a hurry,’ said Amy miserably. ‘She’ll come back another day.’ She desperately hoped that was true.
‘I want Granny! I want Granny!’ Josh started to wail.
‘Oh sweetheart, we’ll see her soon.’ Amy tried to cuddle Josh, but he kicked her and ran off screaming, ‘I hate you! I hate it here! I want Granny!’
‘Josh!’ Amy was shocked. He’d never behaved like this before.
There was a twenty-minute standoff, during which Josh screamed and flung himself on the floor, before eventually retreating to hide under the table in the lounge. Amy managed to wheedle him out with the promise of chocolate – a bribe she knew she would later regret – and when he’d finally calmed down, she said, ‘Come on, let’s go on the allotments, the fresh air will do us both good.’
The tantrum now over, Josh seemed happy enough to come out with her, but if Amy had hoped for some kind of redemption from the allotments, it wasn’t forth-coming. Mary’s visit had left her feeling unsettled and miserable. It was a grey, dull day, and the smell of burning fires made her feel melancholy. The sound of leaves crunching underfoot reminded Amy that winter was on its way. Winter, and another Christmas to face without Jamie.
Several people she knew by sight nodded at her, but no one stopped for a chat. The strange man she’d seen on her first day here sidled up to her as she passed his allotment. ‘It’s a war zone out there,’ he said, his soft Suffolk burr making a surreal contrast with the writhing bucket he thrust under her nose. It contained a wriggling mass of slugs. Amy didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘Bastard slugs get everywhere,’ he added, ‘but they’re no match for old Jeremy.’ He cackled in an alarming way before setting the bucket on the ground and pouring