strutted off round the room, holding her imaginary clipboard and an imaginary something else which she kept looking at, and frowning at, and clicking.
“This is a stop watch,” she said. “I’m timing things. It’s very important to know how long a scene will take. You have to know exactly, down to the last second. It’s for programme planning, and fitting in the commercials.”
She couldn’t stop talking about it. She went on and on, all through tea. Suddenly she was like this huge fan.
“And hey, guess what?” she said, jabbing me in the ribs. “I saw your boyfriend!”
My heart went CLUNK, right down to my shoes.
“You saw Tony?” I said.
I hated her. I hated her!
“Yes,” said Lily. “He was acting a scene with Mara Banks, and when he came off he smiled at me.”
I double hated her. I triple hated her. I would have liked to murder her!
Instead, I raced upstairs to my room and kissed my photo of Tony and burst into tears. Why did Lily always, always get to have all the fun? It wasn’t fair! Why couldn’t I be the one who rushed around shrieking and being popular and have zillions of friends?
I once read somewhere that if you’re shy it just means you’re not interested in other people. You’re only interested in you. But that wasn’t true! I was interested in people. I just didn’t know how to talk to them.
I could talk in my head. I could say lots of things in my head! And I could say them in letters, as well. I used to write pages and pages to Greta, when she first went to America. Maybe – sudden brilliant idea! – maybe I could find a pen pal!
This thought was so exciting that I immediately snatched up the latest copy of Go Girl, which is the magazine that I like best because it once had Tony as its centrefold. (I made a poster of him and it is on my wall with his photo.)
Hurriedly, I scrabbled through the pages till I came to the one where people advertise for pen pals. There were simply loads! I’d never bothered to look at it properly before. I’d never even thought of having a pen pal!
The first one I read, which was no. 364, said,
I didn’t think, probably, that Cindy would find me very interesting. Not if she loved to party. I quickly moved on to the next one.
I gulped. Danni was cool! She wouldn’t want to be my pen pal.
The next one said,
The next one said,
I’m Tara, I’m Sam, I’m Linzi. I love to party, I love to dance, I love to meet people.
After a while I began to get a bit depressed, as quite honestly I couldn’t see any of these cool, fun-loving people wanting to correspond with a person like me. They would soon start thinking, “Oh, this girl is not cool, she is a dead bore, I shall have to stop writing to her.” I wondered if maybe I could advertise for a pen pal myself, and if I did, what would I put?
I knew what Lily would say: BIG TURN OFF. I was just starting to despair when I came to Pen Pal no. 372:
When I saw that my heart started beating really fast. Katie sounded just like me!
I was so excited I grabbed a pen and wrote to her straight away.
Dear Katie,
Hi, my name is Violet! I like reading, writing letters and making up poems. I also like drawing (though I am not very good at it) and doing puzzles.
I have a cat called Horatio and I love to cuddle him, especially in bed. I used to play games with him but he is a bit too old for that now.
I am the same age as you (but will be eleven in April). I am enclosing a photograph so you can see what I look like. I would love to have one of you, and to be your pen pal if you would like me to. Please write back!
Yours sincerely,
Violet Alexander.
PS PLEASE WRITE SOON!
It was the only photograph I had. Well, the only recent one. It was all our class at school, with me at one end and Lily at the other. (We always keep as far away from each other as possible when our photos are taken.)
Mum had got spare copies, like for some weird reason she always does. I can’t think why as they are always foul. But the only other one I had was when I was nine and looking really goofy, so I put in the school one and hoped she wouldn’t notice that there was any resemblance between Lily and me.
It was only after I’d addressed the letter (to Go Girl, Pen Pals no. 372) and gone over the road to the post box that I thought what I could have done. I could have cut Lily out! I could have taken the scissors and simply removed her. I wished that I had! But it was too late, now. The letter had gone.
On Sunday I heard Lily on the telephone, telling Debbie all about her visit to Riverside.
“You know the Green, where Nick and Tina live? Where all the little houses are?”
She told her about the little houses not being real. She told her about the girls with the clipboards. She told her about Tony, acting in a scene with Mara Banks. She told her about Tony smiling at her.
“At me! Not the others. Just me! I know it was me ’cos the others were all looking the other way.”
Later in the day, Big Nan rang up and Lily rushed to the phone before anyone else could get there and told Big Nan about it, too.
“You know the Green, where Nick and Tina live? Where all the little houses are?”
I had to listen to it all over again. Well, I suppose I didn’t have to, exactly, but it was kind of hard to avoid it. Lily’s voice is like a really loud car horn.
On Monday, at school, she told all the rest of the class. Nina and Lucy and Jamila. Justine and Kelly and Meena. They listened, open-mouthed. Even Pandora and Yvonne hovered on the fringes, drinking it all in.
“And then, guess what?” Lily did this little showing-off twirl. “He smiled at me! Tony … he smiled at me!”
Meena