we be all right, sis?’
‘’Course you will, bruv. I won’t let them hurt you again.’
I phoned Scar and told her I was walking home, but she insisted on picking me up. She already knew what Mark had told me because I’d phoned her from the hospital, and she’d listened without comment. But once I was in the car it was a different story.
‘So there you have it,’ she said. ‘This insane quest has to stop. You’re putting the lives of your family in danger.’
‘It was probably an empty threat,’ I said.
‘You can’t be certain of that.’
‘No, but surely if these people are prepared to go to such extremes then they’d come after me. Why bother with my brother?’
‘Isn’t that bloody obvious? They don’t want to draw attention to themselves. If you turned up dead or in hospital then the police might start asking some serious questions and maybe even reopen the original case. But that’s unlikely to happen if your brother is the victim – even if you insisted it was a warning to you. Think about the reaction you got from Ash. He’ll just say you’re making it up.’
She had a point, and it wasn’t something I could just ignore. But neither could I ignore the fact that my ‘insane quest’ might actually produce results.
‘I can’t walk away from it even before I’ve got started,’ I said. ‘That would be crazy. I’ve planned it for too long.’
‘You haven’t planned it, Lizzie. You’ve obsessed over it. There’s a big difference.’
‘Not to me.’
‘But these men are seriously dangerous. The consequences of ignoring their warnings could be dire.’
I let her words hang in the air as she brought the car to a halt outside the house. For a moment I saw myself in her eyes and understood why she was vexed. What I was doing was fraught with risks that in her mind were unnecessary.
She switched off the engine. ‘Look, even if you get to the truth it’s not going to change the past. You served time in prison. Those are lost years. Put them behind you and get on with your life.’
I turned to face her. ‘And what about Leo? Don’t I owe it to him to find out why he died?’
‘He died because he contracted meningitis. Not because you were behind bars.’
I shook my head. ‘I know that if I’d been there he’d still be alive.’
‘You know nothing of the sort. It’s just part of this crushing guilt trip you’re on.’
‘So what if I feel guilty? Wouldn’t you?’
‘Of course, but that’s not the point.’
‘Then what is?’
‘Your future. That’s what you should be focused on now that you’re out. You have to accept that neither guilt nor revenge will bring back your son and those years spent in prison.’
‘Actually I do accept that. But what I can’t accept is that if I do nothing then whoever is responsible for the carnage will never be punished.’
‘Get real. What are the odds on you finding out who the real perps are? You’re not a copper. You don’t have the necessary skills. You’re stumbling blind into a world you’re not familiar with. A dangerous world at that.’
‘If I don’t at least try I’ll never forgive myself,’ I said. ‘If I walk away I really don’t think that my life will be worth living.’
I was worked up now, verging on tears. Scar reached across the seat, brushed a tendril of hair away from my forehead.
She sighed. ‘Okay, babe. I can see you’re as determined as ever. And I want you to know that I’ll stick by you and continue to help.’
I managed a smile. ‘Thanks.’
A beat.
‘There’s this guy I know,’ she said. ‘For a few quid a day I think he might be persuaded to keep an eye on your mum and brother. Would you be up for that?’
‘I suppose. If he can be trusted.’
‘He can. We go back a long way, and it so happens he lives down the road in Portsmouth. He’s also on the dole right now.’
‘What’s his name?’
‘Craig Decker, but everyone calls him Tiny on account of the fact that he’s built like a brick shithouse.’
‘So how do you know him?’
Scar blushed. ‘He happens to be my ex-husband.’
In prison Scar had never mentioned that she’d ever been interested in men, let alone married to one. The revelation left me speechless.
‘I should have told you,’ she said. ‘The thing is it was a long time ago. I was young and I went with boys because I was in denial about my sexual orientation. At seventeen I met Tiny and the first time we did it I got pregnant. So we got married. But our baby died while I was giving birth. The marriage lasted another year, and then we went our separate ways.’
‘But you stayed in touch,’ I said.
She nodded. ‘He was a family friend so yeah, we did. But that was okay because there was never any animosity. He even came to see me in prison once.’
‘And did you tell him about yourself?’
‘If you mean did I tell him that I wasn’t straight, I didn’t have to. He guessed it when I stopped going with guys. I came out when I was nineteen. By then I’d had enough of pretending I was someone I wasn’t.’
It was hard for me to imagine Scar with a man and harder still to imagine how difficult it must have been for her before she came out of the closet.
‘I came close to telling you about Tiny a few times,’ she said. ‘But you know what it was like in prison. Nobody wants to open up completely. You all feel the need to hold something back about yourself. Usually it’s a part of your life you find difficult to share.’
I knew exactly what she meant. There were things about my own life I hadn’t mentioned to Scar. Secrets. Things I were ashamed of. Some of the stuff I got up to while on drugs.
‘So what do you think?’ she asked me. ‘Shall I get Tiny over so that you can suss him out?’
‘Would he be able to cope with being a minder?’
‘Oh, sure. Last I heard he was a bouncer and he knows how to look after himself. Just so you know, he served a short prison sentence for causing grievous bodily harm to a bloke who picked a fight with him in a pub.’
‘He sounds like a charmer.’
‘He is, believe me.’
‘What makes you so sure he’ll be up for it?’
The corners of her mouth slipped into a smile. ‘Because he’s skint and because he’s always said that if I ever need a favour I only have to ask.’
On the way back to the flat I used my mobile to call DS Paul McGrath. I got his number from the card he gave me.
‘I was actually just about to give you a ring,’ he said. ‘The DCI has asked me to look into the attack on your brother. I’m going to see him in a bit and then I’d like to get a statement from you.’
‘And there was me thinking that Ash wouldn’t take it seriously.’
‘The boss might not have the best people skills on the force, Miss Wells, but he’s a good copper. He’ll do all he can to catch those responsible for assaulting your brother.’
‘It wasn’t just an assault,’ I said. ‘They kidnapped him. They dragged